keep breathing

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Yesterday wrecked. Routine and life disordered upon waking, disintegrated into a hoarse rocking mess. Pillows everywhere, lucky to have broken nothing. Then nothing, numb... was strangely productive on a creative level, but dealing with others was a series of disappointments frustrations hurts antagonistic experience. Loathe myself in both states, not connected to self or others, mired in confusion, raging uncontrollably. Tired of hurting, hurting others, tired of trying to make myself understood, tired of not being heard, the assumptions and interpretations of others instead of listening to what is said. Wish there were a dark quiet place to be today.


M.

Sorry to hear you feel like that makuranososhi. Did you find a dark quiet place where you can start gathering yourself together again? The assumptions and interpretations of others are tiring, and irritating beyond belief sometimes...I hope you feel better soon.

Sadly, no... at just a crossroads that there isn't time enough to slow down right now. I'm stitched together right now, at least to other's eyes; just worn through inside.


M.

Bruises, rah. *shakes head*


M.

I hope you can make time.

I expect Arizona in the fall is very beautiful. There are a couple of planeteers I like that live in Flagstaff. Before I looked up Flagstaff in the internet, I always imagined Arizona as arid open spaces. What's it like where you are?

Stay with us, mak.

Yeah, I've been there before...

I hope you feeling better makuranososhi. At least you're stitched back the outside, time to work on the inside. Take care.

Feel better now... amazing trip, incredible person. Talk more on return.


M.