3 months from now I will either be in jail or dead

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There is no way possible I can live with my mom without either killing her or her killing me. It wasn't safe for me to live as a child, and everyone knows that, but no one wants to take me in because "it would be best if I lived with my mom." I can't stay on my own because the government says that having $500 that you borrowed to pay necessities while you are too disabled to work means you can fully support yourself without money or housing assistance

She did a good farce of pretending to kind/nice the past couple weeks, but last night she went off on me for how stupid I am. And why? Because I said I was having a lot of seizures at the same time I was eating a lot of carrots - seizures which stopped when I stopped eating carrots after finding out that they are known to play a role in causing seizures. And this is the person I have to rely on to make sure I eat correctly to not have seizures? Hell, I'll be having 100 seizures a day again if I eat according to her rules of what I can and can't have

She doesn't know a damn thing about seizures, their causes and what foods add fatty triglycerides to the brain, negate a state a ketosis, and cause one. If she did, I never would have nearly died from them because she would have taken me to the neurologist 3 years before I had those huge ones. I know my mom, and just like my grandmother, she'll intentionally not use olive oil, mayonnaise or butter (3 foods I absolutely must eat in large amounts) and will excessively make things using bread, mik, rice, carrots, potatos, peas etc just to "prove" to me that what I eat plays no role in whether or not I have seizures

Life was so much better when she out of it, for what should have been forever and always. If I go back there, i will either kill her or kill myself because I refuse to live in hell for one moment longer than god has already forced on me

Last edited by Triangular_Trees on 25 Aug 2008, 7:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

can't you ask someone else talking to her about it?

Doubt it will work. There is quite a bit of evidence she intentionally gives people wrong information just so she can publically criticize them for going to the wrong place of arriving at a party just when it is ending

How old are ya?

Certain states allow for emancipation as young as 16 so long as a parent agrees. Which you can work in. Since she 'thinks' you are so stupid, gah what a horrid word, then you could just convince her to sign the paperwork that frees you.

Then leave. Live at a homeless shelter if you have to, it sounds better then where you are at.

And try talking to an adult at school, they may be able to give you more help in your local area.

I'm 26. I was on my own, but now on a good day I notice about 10 seizures (hopefully thats all I'm having since I've been told I likely won't notice most of them - there are a lot I notice know that I've been noticing for a long while with just never realizing they were seizures, ie a sudden jerk of the leg falling asleep, stumbling when I haven't tripped over anything, etc)

how are you too disabled to work?

Epilepsy - right now its uncontrolled and its possible I'll need brain surgery before the seizures stop, if they ever do. Its a bit too soon to say its intractable. I'm not permitted to live alone, drive, use any machines, lock the bathroom door, walk on hills, use a knife or cook.

If I eat wrong, or am exposed to alot of flashing lights (ie the sun flickering through the window) then I'll be lucky if I can stay awake for an hour

Right now I can walk for about a mile if I go slowly and rest during the walk. I still need to lay down immediately as soon as I finish that mile and I can't do it the next day, or even 2 days after because I'm still tired from it, but I no longer need to sleep right afterward. Before getting on medicine there were many days that I couldn't physically get out of bed and I was in good shape before that

In addition to erasing and/or distorting my memory of events that occur before, during and just after the seizures, they also prevent me from engaging in common sense and simple tasks. If I'm having seizures I can't divide 10 by 3, even though I graduated from college with straight A's twice. I'll know I am supposed to do something with the numbers but won't have a clue as to what. I also won't have the ability to logically think about situations - ie once whilee I having seizures I was privy to a conversation about the fact that I might have a brain tumor. I thought they were being weird for being worrried about something as trivial as a brain tumor. Also the one day I must have noticed about 30 seizures while teaching. I told another sub over lunch who after sharing this information with the regular teachers decided the school nurse needed to be told. The nurse and principal were concerned and I was just telling them "it was no big deal because I was planning on seeing a neurologist about the possibility of epilepsy the next week." After I got on medicine, i was thinking "they should have forced me to go to the hospital. if I had been thinking straight, I would have demanded it rather than telling them it was nothing to be concerned about."

I can also end up engaging in very odd behavior that appears to be intentional but isn't- I know someone who once had a seizure in the grocery store and ended up putting 10 dozen eggs in her cart, and the stores other eggs in various places. Another person was in a thai restuarant and decided to take her silverware and sit on the floor - when she came out of that one she discovered the waitress had put her food on the floor in front of her.

My small ones cause feelings of creepiness, de ja vu, and psychic ability. My larger ones include those feelings as well as hallucinations. The one I had in front of the licensed therapist caused me to see a nuclear bomb exploding on my hand, but thankfully was not so severe that I was unable to tell that I couldn't possibly be seeing that.

As a child, I've threatened to kill my siblings while chasing them with a garden weasal and punched/kicked ER doctors because they were tortoring me with a giant drill that took three of them to hold because of the seizures I was having and hallucinations that accompanied them. The ER doctors/nurses had to tie me down to the bed just so they could administer the medicine i needed

call adult protective services. THis is classified as abuse of disabled adult. explain whats going on.

yeah that's a good idea