mid-life crisis at 17

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Hello.
Well I got my IQ results today. I was expecting them to be around 110, turns out it's 97 as my overall IQ and my working memory is really impaired. I hate myself. There was one area I did very well in, better than anyone she's ever tested she said.
Not too long ago I got my first year's AS exam results. I only passed 2 of 3 subjects, and the two I did pass were only at grades C and D. So I'm wondering if I'm even university material. At least my GCSEs were good. Technically, however, there are quite a few unis I can still go to, as I'll still get 3 A levels this year and an AS.
Enough of the educational garbage.
I screwed up the other day, too. I went to the careers lady about my options, and at the end of the meeting I mentioned Asperger's. Big mistake. See, I'm not yet officially diagnosed, instead it's in process. I told her it was in process but she thinks that I'm 99% official. I didn't realise that though until it was too late and she's invited in a lady from a school for autistics, and she is going to be my person who promotes me as such. I mean, she makes sure I get into universities. I feel like a bit of a cheat though, I'm not even official yet!! ! It's too late to cancel now
So anyway, I was walking home from getting my IQ results and the idea of ending my life came up. I mean, what do I have to lose? I have no social skills, no intellectual skills and I'm questioning my academic skills. I can't bare this life much longer. I'm very seriously considering it. I have nothing. Can't hold down a job, can't make friends. I can't bloomin' well do anything.

Help?

Don't you dare think of ending it. This is only one small hurdle that can be overcome if you know how and you have your entire life in which to correct the mistakes you've made. I had a friend commit suicide and it still hurts - she was young too and did it for a fairly trivial reason.

Just because your IQ is average doesn't mean you're not incredibly well-spoken, better than most I'd imagine. And remember that there are many different kinds of intelligence for different areas - musical, verbal, artistic, creative, etc - just because it might be below average in one area doesn't mean you can't excel in another, and you can make this area work to your advantage.

Don't worry about your grades; all that matters is you did the best you could and, in the instance that you didn't, those subjects didn't quite stimulate you enough and so weren't the best of choices to begin with. Find something you really love, something you can really stick your back into, and stick with it. I have my English and creative writing and I'm determined to forge a career out of it - it works for me and I'm sure you have something that you love that you can make work.

Even if you can't get into uni, remember that there are other alternative paths; vocational training, adult education, things of that nature. There is never a closed door without an open window - never.

I urge you to reconsider - from what I gather, you have a lot going for you and you still have a lot to live for. There's still a lot to see and do and to experience; don't throw it all away over something trivial, it'll do more harm than you can imagine.

I'm sorry things are bad.
Don't feel like a cheat because of the autism thing. Whatever you've suffered for a lack of social skills, help getting into universities is one of life's ways of making it up to you.
You should keep working toward something, but also realize that there are things other than work and school. If school isn't working out, try to see the value in other simpler aspects of life.
All I can say is that you're going through a rough time, but all things will pass in time.
Talk to us about whatever issues you have and together we'll get through them.
Good Luck.

Everything!
At only 17 you have the whole of life to live and there is no requirement to be dazzlingly brilliant in every way, most people aren't. Everybody gets it wrong on occasion, the person who has never made a mistake has never made anything!
You have plenty of time to get it right. If you have problems (and we all have from time to time) never be ashamed to ask for help, people often will.

Good luck and have a good life.

That is totally a suicidal depression delusion.

WARNING: STUPID ADVICE HERE...
If you can't afford to see a psychiatrist then maybe you can get hospitalized by
intentionally getting caught by a cop pretending to try to hang your self.

Your problems are not to die for. Walk in the park and smell the flowers.
Notice the birds don't have any money and they are singing.
Look at all the severely mentally ret*d people with happy faces and no jobs.
Know that so many people are sick, suffering, and dieing that wish for health like yours.

Don't give up.

You don't have to go to university right away, I.Q tests don't measure everything (maybe just how good you are at I.Q tests) and life is not worth throwing away.

I was in a terrible position when I left school, I'd failed all my A levels, got a sh***y manual job and resigned myself to having a crap time. Now I'm collecting qualifications from the Open University and doing a nerdy technical job I can do standing on my head that's pretty well paid and allowing me to plan a more interesting future for myself.

Try and not stress and make your strength's work for you, if your thinking you don't have any you just need to look closer. There's a future out there you'd be perfect for, you just need to work out what it is.

Things get better - frycook today , vanguard of the Irken invasion fleet tomorrow.

you base your entire happiness on what a test says about your IQ?

look I have known some high IQ people who were dumb as a post
and some low IQ people who were damned brilliant
your only as smart as you feel
life isn't a contest
don't let a number control your feelings

what your I.Q. test says. I took an IQ test and scored a 129/140, (over 10 years ago, my understanding is the scoring has changed and now goes to 170? don't quote me there)....sorry got off subject, my bad habit :/.
My point is, the one thing I have learned, is that that you have to take the test for what it is intended as, it is NOT a test to measure how smart you are, it IS a test to measure how much information you can absorb. Its more like measuring the absorption properties of a sponge than anything.
And Kilroy said it perfectly, I too, have know some High-IQ-ers who were dumb as bricks, and my youngest child, who is 7, has Autism, with some clear mental deficiencies...sometimes, i think he is brilliant. Heck, there have been times I have been dumb as a brick. the point is, your IQ is not what defines you, but rather what you do with it, if you want your life to be better, use what you have been given wisely, (no small task, but NOT impossible). I am 36, and have been where you are mentally. My life has been filled with ups and downs, good decisions and bad ones, right choices and wrong choices. In the end I would not change anything, as all those things are what has made me what I am. I understand things I would have never understood had I not taken the directions and steps I have. I am me, because of what I have done. And while people may be able to say a lot of things about me based upon my decisions, one thing they can never say, is that I am a quitter.

Hi there,

Please don't give up! Passing 3 A-levels implies a high degree of intellectual-academic skill (aren't the two closely related?). Here is the US, this is equivalent to passing 3 Advanced Placements, a rare feat here. About 10-15% pass only ONE Advance Placement exams; the other 85% don't pass ANY AT ALL. AP's are about equal in rigour as A-levels (which, in England, are apparently counted as one year of university, since you folks only have to go 3 years to get your Bachelor's).

You have a classic case of "putting too much pressure" on yourself. Remember, Paul McCartney of the Beatles only passsed ONE A-level--and look how successful he is! John Lennon FAILED ALL his GCSE's. The other two Beatles: I don't think they even made it to secondary school. Please don't even think about ending your life before it's even started!

Last edited by donkort on 23 Sep 2008, 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Please hang in there. You are a good communicator, which few people are. I'm amazed at how few people can write a simple sentence. That's a skill you have going for you.
Please don't hurt the people who are rooting for you. 17 is a scary time for most people.

You feel bad now, but things will get better in time. That's for certain. Life is a gift, and part of it is going through painful times. But you go through them, and good times make up for it.

Listen to me...

I too, have often made the mistake of admitting in interviews and peer meeting that I am autistic (technically Asperger's, but that was before my diagnosis). Sometimes it harmed my chances, and sometimes not.

Anyways, and I know this has probably been said by other members here, but from your starting post, you seem VERY well spoken! I understood clearly everything you were saying. I think it would be a sad waste to see you throw your life away. Please think about this...

Usagi1992

im your friend