Another rant about my father (Not Surprisingly)

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Hello again, fellow Aspies...

I knew that my brief period of calm after my first father rant wouldn't last, as something happened this afternoon that broke that calm.

you see, 2 days ago after having a fight with my brother, I intentionally threw some of the family's forks in the trash, which were the chintzy, thin kind anyway that bother my teeth. Well, today, Mom brought up the fact that she noticed a lot of forks missing from the silverware drawer, and Dave (my brother) said that I might have hidden them, as I overheard from upstairs.

Well, a few hours later, when my father came upstairs to clean the bathroom, he asked me if I knew anything about the seven missing 'fairy forks' (as I called them), and I said something like 'why would I horde forks in my bedroom out of spite?' Well, then, he pauses, puts on that stupid SH*TTY smile of his, and says calmly "Jeff, why don't you just hand them over?"

...GOD-F**KING-DAMMIT!! ! Why did have to go and say that?! I mean, yes, it was obvious I was lying, but he didn't have to be a f**king SMARTASS about it!! !

I...I just wanted to shove my thumbs into his eyeballs and POP THEM LIKE GRAPES!! !

Anyways, I told him I only took 3 but that I threw them in the trash, and he believed me. But that doesn't excuse him for his earlier cockiness. And you know, he just turned 67 yesterday...he's been around too long, IMO.

I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again: Maybe on Friday while he's going to his doctor's checkup, a huge Mack truck will nail him head on, and do me a favor, but I doubt it.

Usagi1992

only one of you is wrong

In this situation, I think you are both wrong. Your dad is wrong for being cocky, yes, but YOU are wrong for throwing forks in the trash out of anger at your brother. So you and your bro got into a fight. Big woop! If you really need to vent, go into your room, blast your music, or punch your pillow. Look, getting into a fight with your brother does not give you the right to throw stuff that belongs to your family in the garbage.

You're also lucky that your dad just ASKED you about the missing forks. If I ever did anything like that in MY family, my parents would constantly bother me about the forks in italian whiny tone of voices, and then Dad would have given me a long lecture on stealing or something, and then Mom would have said stuff like "Come on, you know better than that. How old are you?"

Here is my advice: Find a better way to deal with your brother, and NEVER throw away stuff that belongs to your family ever again. Maybe when I get into a fight with my sister, should I throw her Nintendo DS away out of anger, or politely confront her about the situation and move on?

Well, Stereokid, lemme make something clear...the reason why I overreacted with that fight with my brother was because it WAS over the forks! All I was doing, as I was drying the dishes, was complaining how many cheap ones we had, and my brother said in that f**king annoying tone of voice, "maybe I should just throw out the normal ones, so all you'd have to choose is those kind!"

At first, I didn't get mad, I just false laughed and said 'I know what you're getting at...you're just trying to get my goat to make me upset.' And he bluntly responded 'Yes, I am."

and THAT was what BURNED ME!

And I've learned from past experiences that if I try to make him apologize for something that pisses me off, most of the time he won't, and I could tell he wasn't going to this time either. So that's why I tossed those forks in the garbage.

But anyways, my brother isn't the one I'm upset with right now, it's dad. I'll be going to sleep in a few minutes, so I'm gonna try auto suggestion to hopefully have a beautiful dream...a dream in which my father falls from a 4-story radio tower, and pukes his guts out on impact, until he dies from choking on his own small intestine...

Oh wait...I already HAVE dreamed about that! Silly me! Well, bye-bye!

I always want apologies too from other people when they hurt me or said something nasty to me or treat me in a negative manner. But sometimes I don't always get them so I have to move on and let it go. Some people just don't like to apologize or don't think they should or they just don't care. Dumb asses.



But I still think it's wrong to throw things out that don't belong to you. I assume the forks belong to your parents so it was not okay to throw them out. Would you want someone throwing something out that belongs to you? I wouldn't like it so that's why I wouldn't do it to others.

Yes, you do have a valid point. I'm the kind of person who, even though I have tons of crap in my bedroom, if something was thrown out, I'd notice.

But I did come clean about the forks to my mother, and she just laughed it off and said she'd just have to buy more of the chintzy kind at Remy's.

I love my mama; I could never think of any circumstances in which I'd want her to die in a horrible way, no matter how much s**t she puts me through.

Now papa on the other hand... LOL

Think you need to learn to tackle when people are like that and he need to learn not to be like that

You realize that you should not act upon your dreams, right? Most people have issues with their parents. The degree to which you are angry may be more than the usual.

Your posts are interesting. Considering you wish that your father chokes on his own intesine, or gets run over, what do you think your father wishes for you?

You mention that your father is 67? What could this elderly senior citizen be doing to you that has got you so mad? Why throw away your parents possessions? They paid for them right?

If you really hate him, and you are obviously a very smart person, why don't you get a place of your own. Seems a little bad that he is providing you with shelter, food, and even forks and you want him to suffer and die a horrible death.

Perhaps the decent thing to do is to tell him exactly how you feel so he knows where he stands with you. Maybe he could help with some sort of alternative living arrangements. At 67 this guy should be enjoying some sort of retirement, not ensuring that his children are happy with him.

People are complex and imperfect. If we all give each other some slack and the benefit of the doubt, a lot of bad feelings could be avoided. We don't owe each other understanding, but we should be able to at least live semi- harmoniously within a household.

I sincerely wish you good luck with this. I was never able to fix things up with my father who was pretty unhappy with everything about me. He was older like your father and died when I was 27. I think the reason that we could not get along was the Aspergers. The traits we have are most difficult for some people to figure out. Since I was not diagnosed, he just took everything I did as if I was NT. I think he just wanted me to be able to carry a normal conversation and be part of the group. I think that I embarrassed him a bit. I don't blame him because I understand that he was as bewildered by me as I was by him. He once complained that I am always on the defensive, and that was because I could never figure out if I was being ridiculed or kidded, or if he was just explaining something. Complicated.

Calm down dear. It's just a bunch of FORKS. Grow up.

As for hating your father, that's unfortunate, but don't do anything stupid or evil.

*eyebrow twitches*

Excuse me?!

'Grow up"? I'm 36 years old, you insensitive prick. Don't tell me you've never had a moment where you've temporarily lost control.

I want an apology, NOW.

I don't give forced apologies.

Yes, I have. The point is, though, that you need to contain all that RAGE, or you're gonna burst. Self-control, my friend, self-control.

People don't tend to like it if you trash useless things or hoard them, they should just sit there illogically for some undeterminable stint before someone else knows exactly the thing to do with them (throw them in the trash or hoard them in the loft!)

Last edited by Jenk on 30 Sep 2008, 3:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, I guess that's true. I've calmed down some since last night, so I'm feeling better.

And good for you...I don't give forced apologies either; like when I had to apologize to my doctor for sabotaging one of his tongue depressors, but I didn't, because I had nothing to be sorry for.

Anyways, apologies for the outburst. Peace be with you.