Nostalgia is destroying me

Post Reply New Topic

Nostalgia is killing me. There are many problems I have, which hinder achieving a fullfilling life, but the nostalgia I've always experienced is one of the most pervasive. It's bittersweet, alarming, and it even appears almost to be my default-and pathological-state. I pine for the past to a degre where the present barely exists and the future does not exist at all. The past is more real to me than the fleeting present and absent future. It's always been like this almost as soon as I developed a sense of time. I don't know why it happened and it's terrible.

My life is a shambles and I do not know how to fix the things that do not work right. I have always liked and even craved the comforting elements of the past, the people, places, and things. You name it-even if it's an old, battered street sign I can recall from the age of 7-I'll be there looking at it and reminiscing-and feeling lost and adrift if it is changed or taken out.

I spend most of my time not even doing anything constructive, but wishing things were different, and pining away over greeting cards, pictures, my favorite movies and fictional universes, favorite foods, places, people who are no longer alive. Even when things happen in the present, they're very soon cataloged wistfully into nostalgia almost before the moment is done! The things I remember from even a few years ago, a year ago, on backward, especially the people, and those no longer alive, are my comfort and the things I love the most. Regrets of things, too, come along with the nostalgia.

This is bittersweet, both a comfort and a terrible stagnation. I'm unhappy, but at the same time, it's the only thing that makes me happy! It's pathological and has gone on for a long time. Throwing out or selling nostalgic objects isn't an option to try to cure this-I did it once years ago and regretted it ever since. I keep things packed and away instead, which helps a little, but not much, and I still search Youtube for retro clips.

A little bit of nostalgia is normal... but not like this. I want to embrace the future and build wonderful things, but not leave behind the things and people I love the most, and which have always been the only thing I have, yet it obluterates everything else that even could have possibly been.

Enough already-I want to live in the present and build for the future!

Nostalgia seems like a harmless vice to me. Lots of people indulge (or indulged) it; you, me, George Orwell-


I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I wasn’t born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?


Magliabechi.

The halls of memory can become a maze... it is a problem I have to deal with somewhat in that my memory is both pervasive and associative, so when I see something it triggers a cascade of memories. Helpful for teaching and learning, but not for coping with all the things in the past. Something to consider is that the future is, in a sense, only memories that haven't happened yet. Start to create a direction, a decision to find those memories - just a thought.


M.

The way you described it describes exactly the way I've felt since middle school. Luckily, I've finally managed to overcome that and move on for the most part, but I have to struggle to block out memories of the past, so I can get on with the future.

It would be a harmless vice if it wasn't so all-pervasive and life-stagnating.

I had no idea George Orwell was the same.



My memory for things of the past isn't, thankfully, associative. I don't experience a saturation of many memories due to one article (usually), but it is all-pervasive. I feel like I'm stuck in a rerun of a series of old movies that feel like the 'missing present'. You have a very unique suggestion. I may try it if it doesn't yield too much bittersweetness. I like how you put it the way you did.



I'm stunned to know I'm not alone. Sad, too, that you have to experience this. How did you manage to overcome it enough to be able to move on? I'm glad you were able to do it so early on, too. I'd give anything to be able to move forward (and actually be able to move forward!)

If you can harness your obsession with Nostalgia, I think that could be a good thing. Somehow directing it in a positive manner. Lots of people are interested in nostalgic things and how they relate to history.

...

I can really, really relate to what you're saying.

I can't think of anything else to say off the topic of my head, but please feel free to send me a PM if you ever want to chat.