Parents never told me I'm AS?

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Recently I've been getting flashbacks to strange episodes from my childhood. My mother used to tell me, at random moments, 'I dont know what I would do if my child was autistic. I wouldnt be able to cope'. It seems like a strange thing to say to someone. Surely, it would make more sense to say something like 'Im glad my children are healthy' or something like that. I was always really confused and wouldnt know how to respond.

I remember going to some kind of doctor when I was young......my parents told me i was going to the dentist, but I dont remember anyone checking my teeth. A couple of months later we moved interstate all of a sudden.

Is it possible I was diagnosed but my parents took extreme offense at the suggestion and moved away to make a fresh start?


By the way, I'm self-diagnosed and getting an official diagnosis soon.

I get flash backs of monsters like this this and this .

Is this the right forum? I wasn't sure where to post my question. Wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience. Samara., I'm sorry to hear about your monster flashbacks.

I'm self-diagnosed as well (95% sure) and hope to get an official Dx soon.

I have yet to confront my parents with this. I seem to have vague memories of possibly being diagnosed that happened around age 5 when I was in kindergarten. I think I remember taking that test (can't remember what it's called) where the child is given a scenario in which there are two children. The girl puts a ball under the first basket and the boy leaves the room. While he is gone, the girl puts the ball under the second basket. The child is asked which basket the boy will look under for the ball. The correct response is the first basket because that's the one the boy last saw it under. If this memory is real, I answered the second basket because I knew it was under the second one. I guess the test illustrates that fact that kids will AS fail to relate to other people. The child cannot take the perspective of the child that left the room. Once again, if this is a real memory, I got the question wrong, and I could not understand why. I could tell the person was not happy with my answer, and I was confused.

I was always perplexed when I received special treatment in school. Ex: In kindergarten, we were told not to run back to class in the hall. We were told if anyone did, everyone would have to put their heads down and be silent for five minutes. I remember some of the boys ran anyway, and I ran with them for whatever reason. The teacher was true to her word, and we had to do it. I didn't feel like putting my head down with everyone else, so I didn't. One kid protested, and the teacher said that I didn't have to. I didn't feel special because of this, I felt confused and guilty. I didn't know why I was receiving special treatment, and I knew that others would resent me because of it.

I was an A/B student in elementary school, but I seem to have a vague recollection of being placed in a special needs class for a very short period of time. I knew I was smarter than the other kids there and I told the adult in charge that they were the dumb one if they thought I needed to be there. Once again, I do not know if this is an actual memory or not.

That's really interesting! I remember being in special needs class for a short time, too. And didnt understand why I'd been placed in that class. That was just before we moved.

Yes, that is interesting. This would have taken place in 1990, by the way.

I'm not sure if it is a real memory or not. On a few occasions I have accidentally "absorbed" other people's memories. Ex: I thought a vague memory that I had was mine, but I happened to re-read a story I once read years ago, and it turned out that I had inadvertently made the memory in the story my own. I do not know if this is an aspie thing or not. I certainly did not do it intentionally.

When I self diagnosed, I spent a great deal of time researching Aspergers and recollected an incredible amount of details from my youth, so I was all but sure I had AS. Then I thought I should seek an official diagnosis to have absolute proof. I spent months seeking out a doctor, sending tons of emails and combing the internet for contact information and found virtually no one in my area who deals with AS. Finally, I found a doctor in Toronto who was supposed to be the preeminent figure in the subject. When I finally got a reply, I was told that I couldn't just book my own appointment and had to be referred by my family doctor who told me he knew very little about AS but agreed to refer me to the doc in Toronto. Eventually I got my appointment which wasn't at all what I expected. When I went in to see the doctor he seemed almost annoyed that I was wasting his time; he said "why do you think you have aspergers?" I proceeded to blurt out all the evidence from my research of the past months in a cathartic spew. At one point he asked "do you speed?" to which I said "yeah, I think everybody does but I'm cautious and only do it when it's safe to do so." He asked some more questions and I answered as best I could, then he cut me off and said "I think you do have aspergers, and possibly bi-polar disorder because you're talking so fast" I can't remember how I responded but continued to discuss elements of my past that I thought pertinent. Eventually I noticed he was reclining in his chair with his hands on his forehead and he seemed either tired or annoyed or bored of me or something and I said "am I boring you?" then he jerked to glance at me and I said I would leave then. I suddenly remembered reading someone's post on WP a while before about how diagnosing doctors sometimes try to act annoyed with patients seeking a diagnosis to gauge whether they notice their expressions or not. As I was leaving he said "You do have aspergers, you can use that, or not use that, however you like." There was no official document or anything like that; just a very ornery old guy falling asleep in his chair being asked for his opinion of me. I left, not feeling the sense of relief I had hoped for, and as I was walking out I realized he didn't ask "Do you speed?" he asked "Do you use speed?" I had to laugh when I realized how ridiculous I must've seemed while attempting to communicate so much information that had been stored up inside of me for so long before hand in anticipation of that sadly awkward and disappointing moment.

You will probably be sadly let down if you have high expectation of your official diagnosis. Also, medical professionals still seem to have very little understanding of AS and very little they can offer to you to help. For me, my self diagnosis is far more useful because it helps me understand myself and my past. I have had an official diagnosis for almost a year and it hasn't changed anything for me. The real change comes from knowing more about yourself and about people just like you.

I could be wrong. Maybe things are different where you are, but I've heard of some similar stories as mine from other people as well.

I hate those things, makes you feel like your mentaly ret*d or something...
I'm sorry to hear your mother might be ignoring the fact your a.s., but it seems
very offencive to autistic people (now you see what people "REALLY" think of us)
I myself remember going to some sort of women who search why you are who
you are, i don't remember anything of it anymore to but i also didn't got any sort
of diagnose. I also didn't recieve any pills or something dunno what actually happend
edit: lol i do remember playing some game with some moneys in a tower with her but thats it

Theres just one thing that comes
to my mind. Talk with you parents.
They know and you want to know,
so talk with them i would suggest.

""Is it possible I was diagnosed but my parents took
extreme offense at the suggestion and moved away
to make a fresh start?""

Anything is possible, but you are lucky, all you have
to do to find out is ask the right people the right
questions and be done with it.

Well i am sick of it. Trying to hide behind lies and so not to hurt people. i still talk to my Mum. I love her but I was never diagnosed with autism til i was in my 20's and when I was a early or mid teens I runaway from home because one I was being bashed and because my stepdad sexually abused me from age 5. I know because hwen he did it again i got flash backs of memories I didnt know existed.
I was seriously abused and unless you been a kid and thats happened to you, you got no idea the hell thats like.
I am lucky to still be alive and what pisses me is, The only diagnose or problem my mum thought about me is i was shchizophrenic. Sexual abuse allegations was delusions. I was schizophrenic. So yeah, sexually and psychologically abuse a child and then bash the f**k out of them when they acting neurotic cause I didnt have autism. I was just a lil b***h or schizo.
I got no treatment for nothing as a child except abused and I was a scared as hell to ever tell no one.
No one has the right to f****n treat me like that and it dont matter what no one says or my mum Nothing will ever make it better
and nothing will ever take the pain away.
I am so angry
Abusing children with autism or Aspergers IT HAS TO STOP!

Wow, does this sound familiar. I remember going to the psychiatrist's office. My mom even admits taking me there with my brother, who has ADHD. She told us all about the IQ tests we took.
After that, whenever I had a temper tantrum, my mom would say things like: It's just your artistic personality; Or, it's your artistic nature. This confused me a great deal; because I knew what art was. And, I had no idea what drawing and painting had to do with throwing a fit.
Back then, I would find my self repeating the words artistic/autistic to myself over and over again. They sounded so much alike, but I didn't make the connection, because I didn't know what autistic meant.
Anyway, she never told me or my school for all I know. What was even more frustrating for me, is that it was perfectly okay for my brother to have ADHD. She really went to bat for him with the school, and kids who bullied him. I was left to fend for myself.
When I finally got my own diagnosis in my mid-twenties, it all started to make sense. But, I still haven't discussed it with her. From my experience, she'd either just deny it or find a way to blame me. So, what's the point?
I'm sorry for your experience. But, It's kind of reassuring to hear that I wasn't the only one this kind of thing has happened to.

Thats the same as me sillyputty. i was so queit and withdrawn as a child. I didnt cause no trouble for no one so no one took no notice. Until I was 12 and onwards but then everyone thought I was just being an attention seeker
why
because I was really f****d up. It had nothing to do with attention. Lucky I didnt kill no one
thats the truth, it gets very serious when you some one keeps getting abused, mistreated or misunderstood.

I can relate, Samara. I had abuse issues, and that led to a huge anger (more like rage) problem. I've learned to work through a lot of it, but it still can be a problem for me.

Thanks for the info, DeaconBlues. I went to this school from 1990 to 1993, but it seemed like it happened sooner rather than later, so I said 1990. I highly doubt I was diagnosed with AS at the time. Maybe ADD or God knows what. I never once heard my word Asperger's in my childhood as far as I can remember, so I was most likely overlooked since it was a new concept.

I forgot to mention the first time around- in 4th grade I was pulled out of class to take a test with two people who I believe were psychologists. The details are fuzzy, but I remember flashcards with pictures of objects and the word printed underneath. Intermixed were cards with a bee on it. The goal was to remember the words that came before each bee. I have never heard of this test since, and I believe I was the only one in the class to take it. I do not know what it was for, or if it was AS -related. Does this test sound familiar to anyone?