My mother has a bottle of Klonopin...

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Things have just been getting worse and worse. In October, I wrecked my car. Finally got another one in December that won't pass inspection. I still live with my parents, so they have some control of my car, which also doesn't help, seeing as I hate their guts.
My pot habit may now have cost me my boyfriend, the one person who really gets me. I can't seem to keep a job, so I'm always broke, and then spending money I don't have.
I've made a conscious decision to quit smoking weed...if I don't just end it tonight with my mother's meds. I tried playing "Russian Roulette" a few weeks ago, with Tramadol and Klonopin, but obviously it didn't work as I'm still here.
Even here I get nothing. Go to my post history. You'll see everything I post is blatantly ignored. What's the point? Why bother?(don't bother with the whole God thing. I don't believe in it, or respect those who try to shove it down my throat)

Please get help immediately. Call your doctor. Call 911. Don't try to end your life over this. You made a painful realization that pot is causing problems in your life and now you have an opportunity to start over. Your life can be so much better now!

aw I've been posting here for years and I still feel invisible. WP is like a city, you can end up feeling anonymous here in the same way that cities offer anonymity. Smaller cites have that 'village' feel I spose.

Pot is a bit like alcohol, you have to be responsible about using it, how much, how often etc, otherwise it can be a problem.


Not sure what else to say... I don't approve of suicide, it's for cowards.

Well, made it through the night, but slept for about 14 hours(I didn't take the pills, I was just tired). I know I have to pull myself out of bed to get to my internship. Maybe that'll take my mind off of being alone on Valentine's Day when I shouldn't be. In the meantime, the boyfriend still "has to think about everything". You would think I'd cheated on him the way he feels.
Tomorrow the band auditions a new drummer, which could either revitalize me, or send me into another tailspin.
Really wish I could just stay in bed today.