Dark clouds in head

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Literally right now the lights all look dimmer..and everything looks surreal..and Ihave had this evil dark pressure in my head for hours...

I had an outburst this morning because i was going out with my parents (we used to have a weekly ritual, but then my dad's schedule changed..so now we only go out once in a while)...and...at the last minute as I was getting ready to go out the door, Flakey told me that I had a meeting with the Merchant Services people...because I own the company and the bank account is in my name....but he sprung it on me so suddenly..(because HE himself had frogotten about it until that moment)...saying that he assumed i already knew...because I was in the same room with him when he wrote it on the calendar....but I need more preparation for something than that....and I was not aware of it...and I just started yelling NO...and I ran out of the house, just as my parents were rolling up...and Flakey kept calling me and textimg me and telling me about how important this was and how it had to do with "real life"///and blah blah blah...and at the Indian Buffet restauraunt, I was so stressed out that my motor skills wre so horrible from the stress that I spilled soup into the yogurt dip.... and Flakey ended up picking me up from the restauraunt..to haul me off to the meeting...and I was so stressed out that my digestion shut down and I threw up my lunch and had to pass out on the couch while I waited for the merchant services people to come...and they never did ...So I was very resentful of having my entire mood destroyed and my outing with my parents disrupted for nothing...which is irrational, because how was he supposed to know that the Merchant Services guy was not gonna show...
I ended up going back out with my parents...but I was in such a fowl mood...and still have not managed to snap out of it..just venting...

I can understand the feeling. YOu have a plan in your head, and someone else forces you to change it. It feels very disrespectful, like what you want doesn't matter. Like I was coming home from work once. It was a long, busy day and I was exhausted. My plan was to eat some dinner and relax the evening in front of the TV, or read a bit. Instead, as I get in the door, the first thing my Mom says is, "Oh, I forgot to tell you we're all going to Uncle ---- for dinner tonight. I was floored, and the rest of the evening there I was miserable. And since I had just graduate from college, and was due to begin grad school, I had to put up with everyone asking the same GD question (so where are you going to school? Where's that? What will you do?), and when I'd tell them I was studying film, those f*ckers would all give that half joking/half condescending, "Oh, so you're going to be like Steve Spielberg or George Lucas?"

Sorry, I digress. The point is I was pissed at them because they know my situation, and still they do that to me last minute. What do they expect would happen? And I was mad because of the implication. They never asked if I wanted to go. They told me. They assumed I had nothing better to do. In one respect they were correct (but how could they have known?), but in another, it was still disrespectful because maybe I don't always want to be near my family, or people in general. After working all day around coworkers and patients, maybe was I need is to be alone with myself.

So you're not alone. Hope you feel better.

Brian

Please see a doctor right away. These are physical symptoms, and not mere poetic descriptions. I've had these same symptoms, and I wish that I had obtained medical attention sooner.

Please?

What turned out to be the problem?

I know that mine just has to do with nervous tension..and part of it is PMS...which regularly causes that sort of feeling in my head....I think the lights look dimmer because it is winter and I live in a dark windowless warehouse...Another thing that happened was my period started yesterday over a week early..without any real warning....and that is part of the reason I reacted the way that I did...I did not mention that im my original post, bt I mention it in my blog which is on the same topic.
I am feeling better today...just a bit scattered and out of it. I simply had a sort of meltdown that I am prone to...and was having difficulty processing these resentful emotions.

A mostly-blocked coronary artery.


But is the hormonal shift the cause or another symptom? Only your physician can be certain.


I hope that's all it is.

Please be careful.

Funny...I did have a dream the other night about having a big clot in my neck that caused a vein to become very hard and swollen..and i perceived that the vein led towards my brain...but hopefully that was a cooincidence...

I am going to sit out in the sunshine for a bit and see if that can cheer me up..I am in a building with no natural light, and sometimes it gets to me.

That would be the carotid artery...

This used to happen to me when I was depressed, before I got on the right dose of the right meds.

No ... I saw the X-Rays. It was one of the arteries that feeds the heart muscle itself. When I got stressed, my heart wasn't getting enough oxygen to beat fast or strong enough, so I started getting the same symptoms you described in addition to my left arm going numb.

sorry..i meant the vein/artery thing I had the dream about on myself was round about where the carotid artery would be.....a wee while back...I dreampt I had a big clot in an artery in my neck for some reason...and cooincidentally you were talking about how your symptoms were caused by a blocked artery...but a different one.

I am feeling better tonight ...aside from some mid-grade anxiety...I have just started taking my supplements again...omegas and theanine and whatnot...