how to get help?

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Objectively, I´m at the lowest point since I can remember. I´m in denial, or maybe like someone told chaotic_descent, I´m also depressed.

It´s really hard even to admit things are this bad, so I´m not going to force myself to get into details here right now.

Do you think you need therapy or meds? You can get meds by going to a crisis center, a mental hospital or an emergency room and saying you're suicidal. I don't know about real, actual therapy though. What other help do you need? There is a lot of help you can get.

Want to talk about it?

There are people here to listen. And if you want feedback, all you have to do is ask - or simply say you don't want it and get it off your chest. When we sink too low, the sense of disconnect can be overwhelming and seem insurmountable... and the most painful part for me has been knowing that in order to get out of it, I have to take the first step knowing that is going to be difficult, painful, challenging and loathsome to me on some level. Hope to hear from you soon.


M.

Sometimes it's hard to break through the feeling of isolation, of being cut off from people that happens when you're depressed. I get like that sometimes anyway, the feeling that I've got nothing to say and no-one would want to hear it anyway. I think that's the depression that makes me think that way...maybe you can relate to this...but there are understanding folks here if you feel like talking, or as M said, sometimes a rant helps even if you don't want any feedback. Do whatever you feel you need to, but if you don't feel up to talking right now, you're not alone here at WP.

Would it help to separate your worries, so they don't feel like a big mass - individually, maybe they'd be easier to think about a way through/around them?

Take care.

Wow, the generosity of the sunny southwest overwhelms me! (In a good way.) Thanks. Lots.


@Starr,
@zghost

> Want to talk about it?

To someone who would give a hoot and not judge ... Yeah!



@makuranososhi


>
There are people here to listen.
>

That's such a novel concept.


>
>When we sink too low, the sense of disconnect can be overwhelming and seem insurmountable... and the most painful part for me has been knowing that in order to get out of it, I have to take the first step knowing that is going to be difficult, painful, challenging and loathsome to me on some level.
>

This is such an apt description, I'm risking inciting an international internet-etiquette incident (thereby infringing on Ana's territory) and just quoting all of it.

So much of my childhood training went toward not burdening others. How to get my own needs met while retaining dignity and not inviting condescension ... those skills are still largely undeveloped.



@Ana54,

>
Do you think you need therapy or meds?
>

Therapy .... the pearly gatekeepers already have their orders not to let me into Heaven, just so the counseling center up there won't have to provide the therapy that would have to be soooooooo tailored to me.

I feel like I've mostly exhausted most of the options + approaches over the years. Meaning I've worked the patootie off of them, read the textbooks, practiced, integrated. Which is good, right?

(Besides missing key elements, e.g. learning the parts of Non-Violent Communication that make it more pleasant for others but not "getting" that ones own needs are a central part of the approach. Arrived, I haven't, just sceptical of any T's ability to facilitate more.)



Meds - I got my doctor to rx sertraline, as it worked years ago, and I brought the rx to the pharmacy. (Has to be ordered.) I'm at the point where it's "obvious" nothing will help (rolleyes) so I'm trying it against my current logic.

Thanks for asking about the basics, btw.


>
What other help do you need? There is a lot of help you can get.
>

Hey, I like the way you think! Resources? In line with my needs? It often feels like a straightedge is all the world is willing to share.


What would help most right now would be a non-judgemental social worker to help with practical things. The one I experienced as fairly helpful, at the beginning of the year, got snarky about 20% of the way into my papermess, and told me off for not getting my act together on my own. (She kept trying to morph our sessions into Rogers-by-numbers.) The director (her boss) was 'protective' of her when I finally got up the strength to write an e-mail begging for clarification.


On Friday I found a sort of halfway house / day center meant for people who have been released from psych wards. The counselor there met with me for half an hour (pretty amazingly generous, esp given no notice), gave me an appointment for mid-Jan when he's back from vacation and said in the meantime I can go to the center and try to do paperwork on my own.

I'm there right now, a bit deafened by the echoes of the regulars gearing up for lunch.


(Wrote above in a textdoc, am posting after sitting in at lunch + being asked if I was new staff.)

I can understand how you are feeling.

I'd say getting some counsuling or seeing a psychiatrist is a good step at getting some help for you, and possibly getting some medications that could help you with your daily life. I go to a psychiatrist to get medications myself and have someone to talk to on how I am doing.

If you'd ever like to talk, send me a message okay.

That I could talk comfortably here was one of the most wonderful surprises when I found WP; even if it takes a moment, there are people here listening all the time. I still fight with suppressing my own needs in an effort meet the needs of others and not be a burden; I think this is an ongoing challenge for many of those on the spectrum, not one that you cure so much as understand and manage. Where it comes to dignity, I've found the measure of what I say to be best measure - if I do not give the words of others credence by dignifying them with a response then they lose their power to affect me... and strangely, given my observations of others, they seem relatively willing to follow the reaction of the person who may be getting insulted or abused. This is not to say an always-passive response is preferable... far from it. But it was easier to manage the condescension of others by taking away their effectiveness than to confront them at every pass. Focus on what you want, what your strengths are, instead of fixating on relatively minor frustrations. Any time you want to talk, just drop a line.


M.