Setback

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Boy today was a rough day. I went to a dinner party tonight, and it reminded me of just how bad I am at these sorts of things. The food was all this ethnic stuff that I won't eat, because it's unpleasant for me, and I'm afraid of people thinking badly of me if I eat and don't like. The rest of the evening I just sort of lingered on the margins. Everyone else was in couples, and one single girl in the room has no interest in me. The whole time I wanted to escape, and reteat to my studio apartment where it's safe. I doubt they'll ever invite me back. I just feel so hopeless, like no matter what I do, there's no escaping it. Don't worry, I've never entertained any dangerous thoughts. But the situation just feel so intractable. I want human contact, yet I feel like I'm not meant to have any...

Parties are overwhelming to me. I either go with a person/small group and go outside and talk or leave the party with them and do something else, but I can't stand social gatherings for very long. I leave after an hour if I can't get away into a smaller group. I like to be doing an activity when I'm with people, I can't stand just plain conversation for lengthy periods. I can talk one on one, or a small group, but if there's 4 or more people, I usually listen without speaking much.

Maybe you're just ranting and not meaning to "get insight from the experience so it doesn't happen to you anymore", so sorry if this insight is unwelcome.

I used to get myself into this kind of unfair for me situations, because I used to be so naive. Having NLD, I'd interpret everything literally and never discover that there was a subtext, a different plot that I wasn't seeing.

NTs, if they're not careful, can fall into the kind of situation you had too. And feel miserable for it too. The difference is they have a sense that we Aspies don't, that tells them when it's unwise to accept a social invitation, even if it's at their best friend's.

An NT would've asked who else was going to be there, they would've sniffed that they may have been invited just so the girl wouldn't be a third wheel (or that she may have been invited so that you weren't the third wheel) and they would've told their inviter: "Sorry, but I don't do well with almost all couples. I'll pass this time." and it would've been received well. NTs respect themselves and each other like that.

Took me decades and many depressing evenings like the one you had to start observing and learn this.

Just remember anyone would've been depressed by the event like you were. It's not putting yourself in this kind of vulnerable situations without a safety net that makes the difference. You should be a bit more careful what experiences you expose yourself to, and protect your good feelings about yourself - however little they may be on a regular day - like a lioness protects her cubs.