I am definitely real. Although most in the world have absolutely no idea who I am. It took a while to become confident enough, to spread the joy I try to spread.
Alot of people are where you are at. And yes, thinkers exist like you. I heard the other day, "If we spend time trying to get validation for the way we think, we will never feel success" No one can truly understand the way you think, unless it is someone who happens to have one foot in the heavens! Like a cloud. So we can only self validate many things in our lives.
You have alot of work to do now. It begins with the basic necessities.
Food, Warmth, Comfort, and Contentment, Then move to joy. Oh and take out the trash, then push yourself to clean the trashcan. It stinks.
When you play, feel the waves of light that are coming through you. This will help you. Also, if you get hooked on the fame, then all the joy work will begin to unravel.
That is when you will have thoughts about people not liking you. The next part is hard, when you have the thoughts of people not liking you or understanding you, you then need to turn that around in your heart, and remember your purpose is joy.
If you thought you were rude, then tell them, I am sorry, I have aspergers, and sometimes I am unduly rude without thought, in my literal mindedness. Or some such thing. Just speak the absolute truth. It is all that matters when you are rebirthing, and then living your life as best as you only can, while being backed by the fullness of who you are.
Many, many, many, many, many, people see " because I can not do the most simple of things....get along with others. Yet, the complicated is more mundain."
My words and how I see the world, is a matter of I have to see it that way. Yet I still work very hard in the areas of percieving new info.
You should see how much of a dimwit I appear to be at first. My challenge in that situation, isn't to appear smarter, it is to feel enough confidence, or take a breath and remember, one end of the funnel is small and one is large, I am so happy the small end is for new info and begining interactions on through to intermediate interactions, and that the large end is at, deeper understanding of all information present, and deeper interactions.
You can focus on the small stuff that gets your goat, or you can do the right thing and just do the hard work, when you have to do it. Like doing that load of laundry.
Your dad never excelled in the areas you did. Now imagine he comes from a base of understanding, rooted in the sad, angry place of self loathing. He would then, woefully be sad that he couldn't do the things you could do. Then in his way, he would have told you that you did better than he ever could have, by saying you could not do a thing.
Each person has a different language which is based in a different level of emotional existence.
His language sucks hard, yet mostly for him does it suck the worst. For the pain he spews forth and the muck he therefore has to live in. I highly doubt he will ever be able to learn a new language, which is imperative for moving much further up the awareness line, than he is currently residing in.
So even though you got the fang end of the snake, right on your ass, atleast you are lucky enough to have a chance to open the deeper aspects of your mind to the higher aspects of communication and then letting your joy flow freely, from the inflowing energy in your tummy, straight towards what ever amazing creative force, you deem to pick up, for the intention of making beautiful.
My gift is words. If I did not use my gift with the popper intentions, I could do great harm. Do you see what I mean? Your gift is yours, and with time, I see you as being one of the most powerful beams of musical joy out there. If you want it enough to even love yourself for.
Thankyou for being here, or else I would not have been able to write this.
Thankyou
11 Dec 2008, 9:39 am
