Do you ever feel like nobody cares you exist?

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First of all, a disclaimer: I am not suicidal... I contemplated it once at the very worst of my depression in high school, and then thought "well that was a dumb idea"... Anyway, here goes...

I get the feeling that pretty much nobody on the earth even cares that I exist. I don't make any money (being a college student, I'm only incurring debt at this point), I don't have anything to offer the world, there's no way in hell I'm ever going to find a girlfriend, let alone get married or have children, so I really have no reason to exist. I haven't impacted anybody's life for the better (or even for the worse), and in the grand scheme of things I'm not even worthy of a footnote...

If i had the money, the first thing I would do is move away. Far away, so that at the very least I wouldn't be in the way of other people...

Feel like it? Buddy, I know it for a fact!*

And that knowledge gives me a whole lot of freedom to just be me!


(*Except for my lovely wife.)

I have felt that way in the past. Wish I could offer you something really juicy that could just jerk you out of that head space. I was able to create that for myself once, a long time ago, but have never been able to give it to anyone else...

So in lieu of that, I'll just say this: yer nuts.

There are lots of aspie people who are able to make romantic connections and have kids (if that's what you want). If I had known that I has AS, I might have chosen specifically not to have children, although in my case that's also because I wasn't excited about the idea of children in the first place. And really I think people should be excited about the idea of children before they have them. My ex wife was excited about having kids, so I have three. And I love them to death, it just wasn't my idea before hand.

With regard to impacting the lives of others... umm... dude, you've posted over 3200 messages on here in the last 12 months. Trust me, there are people on this forum who would notice if you vanished. Orwell I'm sure is one of them.

If you want something more dramatic, just hang out and look for opportunities. There are all sorts of things you can do, you just have to pick your thing. Mine are software, cartooning / illustration and writing.

Check out this book, maybe it'll give you some ideas: http://smolderingremains.deviantart.com ... 1-82212934

i have had this feeliing all through my life.i just want to banish one day without people noticing me that i exist.i find my own existance pretty pitiful.when i was younger i wanted to be like robinson crusoe who one day reached a lonely island.i wanted to go away from huiman contact too.
i hope you will feel better soon.

You know what? I'm not sure how much anyone would care for my existence. They'd be alright if I didn't, and if we're being in all honesty, I think they'd get over it quickly if I died.

Actually, that as one of the reasons I was depressed for years. I thought that other people not wanting or needing me was the worst thing ever. Now I find it a rather odd concept. I don't even know how I succumbed to the absurd idea that others value of me was the same thing as my value as a person...silly . I never let them define me in most other ways, so how did I manage to fall prey to this bit of brainwashing...I assume it is because it is as pervasive a concept as water for a fish, that I didn't even realize it was there . I left the matrix. People don't like or need me any more then they used to be I value myself more and what I think about me is a lot more important then it once was.

Now, I define my value as fulfilling the things "I"value in humans . I don't have to produce a master piece or own certain things or be a certain way to have value. Others don't have to agree that what I value is more valuable then what they value but they are welcome to live in their own little realities . I value myself every time I kiss a dog when 10 others passed them by without appreciating them...you have to find your own values and you may find that that such small acts have more impact then you will ever know .

To clarify, I value honesty, small acts of compassion and trying to do as little harm to others as I can manage.

Another point is....your not dead yet. You don't know what you may contribute to society, if that is what you value most in life . Many inventors, authors, artist created some of their best works when they were older then dirt . Time is your friend in this, but to create the best, you first have to value just being "you", because no one is is exactly you . If you keep wanting to be them, you will create something not of you....

Yeah, I mean, I know my family would care quite a lot if I ceased to exist, but outside of that perhaps one person might be profoundly impacted by it (best friend since high school). This kind of bothers me and I wish to seriously change it within the next few years. I'm sick of the post high school loneliness rut I've been in for the past 4 1/2 years.

I have no interest in ending myself, though. This body is all I've got and all I'll ever have which is, from the perspective of a living thing, better than the other option.

I think we should stop trying to be accepted by NTs. They only understand the law of the jungle. Don't bother trying to make them feel sorry for you. Get on and do things you enjoy.

Try to find a girlfriend in the AS community. Do you have friends? You can make lots of them in the AS community; I made like 100.


I don't think you're worthless and I care that you exist. PM me if you ever want to talk about anything at all.

How? I can't find women at all anyway, especially at the college I go to (with a 4:1 male to female ratio)... and there's no AS communities where I live...


I have a few actually, but they're all away from where I am now...


Again, there's no AS community where I live...


Well, thanks for the sentiment, but if you were to encounter me in real life, you would never know it was me...

Though I might take you up on the PMing sometime if I feel like it...

You should move to a bigger city.

Is bigger than NYC even possible?

(That said, I never actually go into the city... too busy for my tastes...)

The local group in NY is called GRASP: http://grasp.org/

I would call them and talk to them about meetings near you - and if there aren't any, ask them how you can facilitate meetings in Jersey.

I'm glad that you exist. It's nice to see an Aspie who promotes views which go against the typical amoral BS that's so abundant around here.