Did I do the wrong thing?

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I just received a friend request on Myspace about 25-35 minutes ago from my little sister.

When I received the request, I felt an uneasy, fearful feeling in the stomach.

The one you get when you are being led to the gallows, or the one I get when a member of my family is frying something in the kitchen and there is enough smoke to set of the alarm and you just sitting there, hands covering my ears, waiting for that shrill beep.

Fortunately I was not scared enough to piss myself. Like I did in the past at school.

I want to maintain my privacy, not have her overly extraverted social, drama-whorish, gangsta lifestyle invade my more nerdish, slow, shy, quiet, intellectual lifestyle.


On the other hand, there are moral incendiaries telling me that I should add her. My family has the nagging complaint that I do not speak to her often enough. But she treats me like s**t everytime she wants something from me. In fact the way she speaks to me implies that my lifestyle, interests (anime, nerdish interests, etc.), and viewpoints on recent family issues are against hers. She also tends to disdain me for the fact that I live with Asperger Syndrome.


But she is going to be taking a plane trip down to Boise to stay with my aunt in a week and a half, and this is not going to go over well with my aunt. My aunt already thinks I am barely a Christian, and this is just going to prove her point.


I know God looked down and saw the mouse click that rejected my sister's request, as well as the preliminary moral, ethical, as well as physical consternation that took place. He will judge me for what I just did.


Now for you, my friends, do you believe I made the right choice, or the wrong choice?

I want to hear back from you.

I'm not going to say you did the "wrong" thing, because it's purely your choice. But I think I would have accepted the request, if I were in the situation.

I declined an invitation from a relative to another of those sites, with the explanation that I don't do any of them. And I don't. Do you? That would make it more complicated to turn one down.

And my explanation was accepted and there was no problem. I just don't see any reason to want to expose myself in public like that.

I think you made the right choice. Why would you want someone on your myspace Friend's list who treat you like dirt?

double post, sorry!

if you post anything that you did not want your family member to see, then you did the correct thing. not everyone is comfortable with everything their families say/do/think, and there's no reason you should be forced to give up your privacy to make someone else feel better.

At the end of the day, it's only a website. You will still see her in day to day life and can always contact her by phone.

I probably would have accepted her request, purely because it's unlikely she would ever bother posting. A lot of people add 'friends' on myspace and leave it at that; She may not even notice.

If she does, and brings it up, you've a number of choices. One is, as another poster said, just saying you prefer to keep your profile private (you're a teenager, right? Secrecy is almost to be expected ;P). Another option is to pretend you thought it was a spam request (it happens)... chances are she won't mention it at all though, in which case don't worry.

If you still feel guilty though, just re-add her. She might even decline out of annoyance, in which case you've got the best of both worlds

No, I am 20, turning 21 next April.

No offence, but I bristle at the implications of being called a teenager.

Well, anyway, I just felt very conflicted about the issue. Because I like the sanctified nerdity of my prof. and I don't want a noisy, often controversial teenage sibling invading it.

Another problem of note is, I criticized my family quite a bit on the page.

But the family is broken up from a past divorce and all sorts of disagreements (my dad vs. my mother and sisters, me on the sidelines, but sisters perceive me to be on my dad's side), so it does not much matter.\

I just wish there was a way for me to become independent, but alas, this is Montana. I cannot easily achieve my independence without a little white plastic card called a "DRIVER'S LICENSE" which I don't have due to my fear of driving and poor spatial ability. I don't have too many friends here in MT, and certainly nobody wants me to be their roommate. I already went to go live with my aunt when my mother divorced my dad and ran off to an Egyptian, and sent me off to NJ, so I doubt that my aunt wants me around. BTW, I live with my dad and sisters. One of them is engaged and the other is going to run off to Arizona to modeling school as soon as she turns 18.

Here is a favorite saying I made up, "You can't live with them, but you can't live without them"

My family infantilizes me and deprives me of basic human feeling in a way that makes my sisters look like the bees knees as maturity goes. They deny my AS, or the effects thereof, in other cases, then they wonder why I do some very odd things (like running to the garage while my sister is frying something and creating smoke in the house, which causes me worry about the smoke detector going off, talking to myself about intellectual topics and my complaints about them).

My family life, when combined with college, is like a deck of cards I have to play very carefully (or at least very carefully until I get to Idaho next summer). If I mess up too often or even a little, the results could be catastrophic.