After I wrote my last reply here, I sought out a therapist and was diagnosed with PTSD.
After a lot of consideration, it seems like a lot of my problems coping have come out of being on the spectrum, and not from PTSD. I have had more than enough trauma in my life, but the personality traits others have found most distressing have been present within me for a long time and were even remarked upon when I was a small child, pre-kindergarten.
While my problems socializing, expressing emotion, and completing school work on time often got me sent to the counselor, the trauma that was going on in my family got ignored. And yet I was never diagnosed with anything until I was adult...at least as far as I know.
I still am a bit depressed and anxious, but my behaviour makes a lot more sense now that I've confronted the trauma I've lived through. I've landed some work, made some money, and am now preparing to attend a course on graphic design. I still have problems coping, and I think I would be doing a lot better if I had a class or coach helping me with my social skills.
25 Dec 2008, 11:29 pm
