i know the holidays are supposed to hold cheer... but

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i always feel alone, everyone else has their boyfriend or their girlfriend, or even a wife or husband, and then i've got nothing, and i just feel so lonely.... the holidays bring me sadness, not cheer, sure i can smile and say it's ok, but it's really not... i hate the holidays, it's liek a time of yerar that just screams "Your alone, no one loves you"

*sigh*
i always get depressed during the holidays... all i know, is i really want a boyfriend or girlfriend, i'm bi so i don't care....


also, i'm having trouble telling my parents im bi, everytuime i think abotu it, they maker a gay joke, it's liek a sign im destined to be alone...
probably not gonna live past 19 anyways... so what does it matter anymore...

Someone I know once said that it's not for how long you live that matters, but how you live.

That aside, rather than the lack of a partner being the reason for my currently arising state of depression, it's you. You're depressing me. Or more like, annoying me.

You should just make a poll and see how many people are also alone. You're 15? Answer me this, did you ever have a partner before? Surely you have. And not just once I presume, right? I'm 18, still a hermit. Never had a partner. And do not be mistaken, 'tis not that I did not desire one -- on the contrary, I did and still do, but my ethics, handsome amount of psychological abnormalities and standards prevented me from getting one.

Gah! You're pissing me off... (First time I used this phrase in so many years. To this extent you annoy me.)

Try not to get insulted, you deserve some scolding.

Last edited by Agon on 28 Dec 2008, 9:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Trust me, being in a relationship isn't glory. It is better to wait for someone who will treat you well when you are older then date at a young age when many teenagers are self-centered. I'm seventeen, and I never had good relationships with my peers. I often feel lonely, based on differences, but it's something of little relevance in the long run. I know I need to move on to accomplish my goals in life. Letting go of a feeling is hard, but it will help you move forward faster. Make a list of the qualities your boyfriend/girlfriend have that are most important to you. Keep it as a reference for the future.

I think your parents deserve some scolding for making gay jokes like that.

No offense, but if you feel lonely you should either get out and socialize or try not to focus on it. I know I should not have dated at 15. Though I know what you're going through...

I feel that way about the holidays too. I don't just have Christmas and New Years but my birthday is around that time too. A friend asked me why I wasn't celebrating it. Truth is I have no one to celebrate it with. And with New years eve coming up the feelings of loneliness will come back.

Being in a relationship is tough work, even tougher for an Aspie. A girlfriend/boyfriend can make you feel loved, but it's only temporary for most. Who knows, you might find someone one day. When I was 15 I only dated once and I had no feeling for that guy.
If you haven't got many friends then chances are you might not meet someone. I've always met guys through friends.

On gay jokes: tell your parents that you find them offensive. I'm not gay but I think people that joke about it are immature. I'm not sure how you can come out as bi. Maybe say that you haven't got a problem with people that are gay/bi. Then they might cool off with the jokes and it may be easier for you to come out.

I sincerely tell you that I was certain I was not going to live to see 20! I knew it, I hoped it and did what I could to make it so. I lived hard and took great risks both physically and with my health. Drugs, alcohol, fast cars and jail. Then I knew that thirty was never going to come for me, so I lived hard and took great risks, trying to help my known destiny along but severely damaging myself physically in the process. I am much older now, and I have to say I dread my old age with the arthritis and the rheumatism in all those places the bones broke.

so, be prepared, you might live well past what you think your sell by date is.

Merle

Hi Kasuki-Chan,

Just a few pointers...

1. At age 15, you don't need to decide whether your straight, bi, gay or anything else... Just be yourself and see where the cards fall. Furthermore - you don't need to inform your parents about those sorts of things. It only gets parents worked up.

2. Ok, so you feel that you've only got 4 years to live. It may be true - it may not. It might just be how you're feeling right now. Regardless... assume that it is four years. That makes your life not the longest candle around... so you need to concentrate on making it the brightest. That's what those 1001 things to do before you die books are about. What's on your bucket list? Do it.

3. Being in a relationship... It's got its good and bad points. There's no reason that at 15 you can't just have one or two good friends without having to go the whole relationship deal. Do you have any "buddies" like that?

4. If you need to be in a relationship then...why aren't you? I've read nothing here to say that there's a good reason why you aren't or you can't. What sort of person do you want to meet? What do you think are your issues which drive people away and what do you have to offer people (ie: what are your good points). You have to know yourself and know what you want before you can try to get someone.

Anyway, I'm rambling... good luck.

Kasuki, did you try telling your parents you were serious?

You can find lots of friends on here, and probably a boyfriend or girlfriend.


Why do you not think you'll live past 19? Are you suicidal? Do you want help for it?

i've never even tried to tell them... i always get afraid i won't be able to go to my friends houses.... plus i think my oarents are homophobic

and as for age 19.... my thinking is this:
i'm either gonna be shot or murdered by someone who hates me.... or i'm gonna commit suicide, sadly wnough i decided this at age 7....

kasuki were here and would gladly celibrate with u!! !

Where's the logic? I'd understand if you said that you've got cancer and the doctor's prognosis concluded that you've got a few years left to live. But, to assume something like this with no ground to back it up with and to state it as though it was a fact with a possibility of such a result...

What you need is time. Time to understand a few things. Read a few good books, watch a few good movie, whatever you enjoy, just do it. And don't be thinking about things like these intentionally, they'll come around. You're like a fisherman, or fisherwoman if you will, you've got your rod, your worms, you're all set. But you don't know how to fish! 'Tis like that. Just take a break.

I know really...being with my family this holiday season made me feel like that too. The only people in my extended family who aren't married or in a relationship are the kids who are a lot younger than me.



Well, I'm straight so I can't relate to the bi part. However, I can't assume that you're obsessing about getting a boyfriend or girlfriend, even though you appear to be thinking about that a lot. Just to maybe make you feel better, I've probably obsessed about having a girlfriend for longer than I can remember, and I've only came close one time. I still obsess about that now.



Question: Who do you know that hates you that badly? Don't name specific names...I'm just asking theoretically. I can tell you that I used to think that everyone hates me. Sometimes I still do whenever I get depressed. When I'm in a good mood, that I've only known one person who ever hated me, and he's probably in jail right now because he was oppositional defiant and probably just hated everyone anyway. So I concluded that he would probably (if it was even possible) murder half the world before he would murder me, let alone you. My point is, if you could just think a little more about it during a time when you are happy, you will find that being murdered is very unlikely, especially out of hate. As for suicide, just stay positive and if you do get suicidal, seek help immediately because your life is very valuable to you and others, whether you know it or not.