my mom repeatly accuses me of enjoying being miserable.

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nightbender
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08 Jan 2009, 12:48 pm

My mom repeatly accuses me that i enjoy being miserable and also says i could choose to be happy any time i want. I repeatly try to explain that the meds caused anhendonia and brain trauma and she just says im full of it. She cant seem to tell the diffence between an meaningless emotion and and actuall conditon of life.



ZakFiend
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08 Jan 2009, 2:34 pm

Your mother doesn't sound particularly bright. One thing I've come to understand over the years, is that some people are born sensitive so this means they have strong natural tendencies towards what others perceive as negativeness abd misery. This is something that they cannot change and which is physiological in nature.

You could no more choose to be happy then choose to make the sun disappear. The idea that happyness is a choice is a farce given the evidence and the rapidly expanding science of understanding our own neurology/physiology.



CockneyRebel
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08 Jan 2009, 2:52 pm

My mum used to accuse me of the same thing, until I was diagnosed with clinical depression, 11 years, ago. She stopped after that day that I was diagnosed, and she's been doing little things to make me happy. :O)

I hope that your mum turns her attitude around.


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Ladarzak
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08 Jan 2009, 4:54 pm

Join the club! My mother is similarly a Polyanna. And the counterpoint tune is no better, when she becomes an amateur psychiatrist and diagnoses depression and recommends drugs in one foul swipe. :roll: The lack of empathy is so negating. No point telling her how you feel, since you know what the response will be.

On the other hand, we must learn how to develop good feelings in ourselves. It's something I've had to continually work at and does not come easily for the most part.

Sorry you are in this position.

Oh, by the way, ever heard the one about how if you smile, it will trigger the start of happy chemicals in your brain? For many people that's true, to a point, though it doesn't overcome extremes, of course. For people on the spectrum, though, I saw discussion of a study showing that we tend not to be that way. In other words, to a certain extent what she says is true for her. What she doesn't understand is you are a different person.



Alisscious
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08 Jan 2009, 5:57 pm

My mother is a know it all, know nothing as well. Too bad she never learned to love herself. Too bad she taught me all of her pain. Too bad she was abused as a child, into a state of non connective identity.

Too bad.



lithium
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10 Jan 2009, 7:56 am

my mother does the same, and when i try to explain something to her, she just goes yeah you probably just read those fancy words somewhere. the best thing you can do about her nagging is just ignoring her.


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