Why didn't I do this in the first place?!

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With all my ranting an bitching about how much my dad pisses me off, why don't I just start a permanent thread here (or in a more appropriate place if the administer moves this) dedicated to just bitching about what he does to me. That way all of you on the forum board can see just how much of an a**hole he can be, on a regular basis.

For practical purposes, I'll only start at the beginning of this year, and regularly report back in this same thread once a week for updates, ya know?

I think it's a good idea...so let me start with what happened merely 20 minutes ago. He was ragging on and on about my 'dead soldiers' (aluminum cans) littered around my computer room (seperate from my room). Well, there was only TWO FREAKING bottles on the floor that I missed from last night's clean up, but he just said 'well, thet's no excuse; clean up, and I wouldn't have to bother you.' Damn him!

...and you can expect more of this ranting in the months to come.

Usagi1992

You could also blog it .... maybe in a data-collection scheme?

There is an exercise I was given for working through someone really P§ing me off. It's a series of columns, in the first one is the list of everything I could think of that got my goat. Then the rest of the columns are about, well, maybe it's not quite the direction you want to go with this.

Get that rage out here, it's better than stewing in it!

I suspect that starting a blog or a thread where you describe the good things that are going on in your life will be astronomically more helpful to you in the long run. It's your choice obviously, I'm just saying... I've been down the other road and found it to be not terribly helpful. Plus there's a lot of science that suggests the alternative actually is helpful.

I've been working on a book on that subject:
http://smolderingremains.deviantart.com ... 1-82212934

p.s. I'm not saying you shouldn't ever vent -- but reinforcing a habit of venting regularly imo is liable to lead to you feeling worse overall rather than better. In a neurological sense what you would be doing is practicing being angry.

I'm on your dad's side.

*nods* Yeah, that's what I would expect you to say, judging from your age. You don't KNOW my father, sir/madam. It's like, now that he's past retirement age (he's 67 btw), he thinks that's the PERFECT excuse to play the role of an instigator, for his own personal pleasures.

Do you... ...do you know what he said to me this afternoon?! Even after I think I did a good job of picking up most of the clutter in my room and vacuuming? He said to me, as I was about to go out the door for a walk, 'And when you come back, work on your room. Both yours and your brother's are a disgrace."...

Well, all thoughts of walking IMMEDIATELY left my mind! Though calm on the outside, I was STEAMING as I went upstairs and did an even BETTER job at tidying up, and now the high traffic areas are f***ing SPOTLESS!! But I did NOT do this for my own personal gain, oh no...I did it to purely SPITE HIM! And for the rest of this year, I'm going to continue to symbolically spit in his face by keeping my room presentable!

As long as my lungs continue to draw breath, I will CURSE MY FATHER'S NAME! I will wield my hatred and crush him to the point he *finally* suffers his long awaited chest buster!

So go ahead and call me a spiteful little jerk; I welcome it!!

Usagi

Hey, that's an idea! But I don't know how to set a blog account. Though I suppose I could learn as I go, with the blog capabilities already provided by Wrong Planet.

Thanks for the help. ^_^

ok so this is what caused you to get mad ... he requested that you clean your room...?

then out of spite you did the thing he requested you do? For asking to clean your room he draws a lifetime of curses and his biggest insult was that your room was a disgrace ?

Ok I'm so confused here I'm not going to ask anymore

I have to agree with Abangyarudo...

You obviously don't know what it's like for someone to *actually* abuse you. This isn't abusive, this is merely annoying.

When I was about 5 years old my sister heard me and my mother talking in the kitchen... nothing particularly unusual. Suddenly my mother starts screaming her head off. My sister rounds the hall corner and looks into the kitchen just in time to see my mother lift me up by the scruff of my neck, bend me backward over the kitchen counter, yank open the utility drawer and start hitting me about the head and neck with random handful of egg-wisks, wooden spoons, etc. This kind of thing was pretty typical of my mother. I probably said something like "I'm going to walk down the block to the 7-11". Maybe at 5 that wasn't the best thing for me to be doing... although even in my mid-teens she was still paranoid that someone was going to kidnap me within 5-6 blocks of our house.

You should consider yourself lucky that you have the ability to consider "your room is a disgrace" such a horrible offense.

And maybe think about getting some relaxation CDs or something, because carrying around that kind of stress over every-day events is going to kill you early. I know -- I did it myself and by the time I was in my early 20's I had worn a hole in both ends of my stomach.

to continue with ike's comments don't you think its a little of an overreaction all your feelings about your father. Clean up your room its a disgrace is not a grave insult but merely a request added with some incentive (can't think of a better word). Its time to really get things in order because if that is a grave insult and instigating with you you will most likely have alot of problems interacting in normal society.

Rant away. That's what this place is for. However, please forgive me for saying this, but....

It's not fun to have to pick up after yourself, but it is part of life, and part of living with other people. I think you should do your best to clean up and make the place look tidy, thank your lucky stars that you have a room AND a separate computer room (and a computer), and when you're all done making the place look nice, make your dad a cup of tea (or whatever will make him happy), and then come and complain about it if you must.

I'm not saying that to be mean. Believe me, I know it's a pain to be told what to do. But you'll do yourself a favor by training yourself to be okay with having to clean up after yourself.

Okay, allow me to explain. 1.) It wasn't so much me being asked to clean up...it was his comparing MY room with my brother's, and my brother's is FAR MORE DISGUSTING THEN MINE! Comparing that sty to my room....THAT's what pissed me off!

2.) The reason why I consider fulfilling his request as spiteful, is because it's the *last* thing he'd EXPECT me to do. He'd think that after my getting mad from his request, I'd rebel and NOT clean it, or make it even MORE messy. Well, TWO can play this mental game! If he wants to treat me like an incompetent f**kup (which he's thought all his life, I can tell), then I'll do the exact opposite.

Naturally, he's going to act happy and pleased that I'm obeying his orders, but I know...deep down...he'll be angry at the fact that he's been proved wrong.

Hope that clears it up.

Usagi1992

Ahhh... yes, this message cleared up the whole thing quite well... thanks for clarifying.

Although I can follow your reasoning now, this still seems really unlikely to me.

Wow! You are 35. But its the Haven and I should not say anything bad.

But I thought you were a kid.

Dude, you should look into Oppositional Defiant Disorder.. that might explain why you are so angry and stressed out over being told to clean up your room.

LL

Close enough...I'm not a man, I'm a 36 year old BOY...at least, that's how my father sees me.

I've always thought of myself as having the mind of a permanent 17 year old though.

I'm 36 as well. Its not uncommon for aspies to mature slowly. Have you looked into ODD as lawlesslady mentioned?