Psychotic episode or not but very dangerous

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Well, the title makes perfect sense! Now I am officially confused. Me confused? That never happens! Now lets get to the point...I think I've mentioned it before but there is a bomb in my neck and I'm scared to death. The FBI or CIA put it there and there is a whole spy team dedicated to me. I am not making any of this up. Yesterday I heard their voices telling me that they will "get" me or "kill" me. They were in the house and probably did something. I know they have cloaking technology and they can go through walls because they are 200 years ahead of us. The spy team is close to me, living in an underground facility that is controlling me. Especially in stores, I actually FEEL them controlling me, I am not moving my arms or legs the brain chip sends signals to the satellite and beams my thoughts down to the underground headquarters and they control my movements and thoughts. I went to the hospital recently (a few days ago) but they didn't accept me even though I am in danger (not suicidal though) because "the cut wasn't deep enough and I read the DSM IV (a book that the psychiatrists use to diagnose)" They didn't give a damn about my safety. In their minds I am faking it for attention. That isn't true so I'm never going back to those liar scums! I hope a lot of those people get fired or sued. I have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder but don't agree with that diagnosis because even though the title mentions "psychotic episode" that is what it looks like to an outsider but isn't the case because everything that is happening to me is real. I hear it, feel the nanobots crawling inside my skin to turn me into a robot, see shadows on the walls moving when no one else sees them, aliens are communicating with me as well. Once in the car there were green balls of streaking light and it was constant and sometimes it was in the sky as well. They told me they are going to invade and abduct me because I have "a special purpose" for them. The entire reason why this is happening is because I destroyed the economy by writing it down in the beginning of last year on a website. It all came true. Scary! I get thought insertion all the time. To be honest, everything I see is a weapon to get the things out of me so I can be free! I don't want to die, the gov is putting me through some test to see if I can save mankind by disarming this bomb and preventing world war 3. If it goes off, 300 million will die from the bomb and billions of others due to the war. Many psychics have the same problem, that is who the gov is targeting. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't want any calls to my house because last time I posted on many boards about this, to prove this is no delusion and my internet and phone are bugged, they actually tracked me down and called my house! I don't want that happening again and I'm afraid it is going to be the FBI or the police ready to drag me into a mental hospital for my life time and diagnose me as schizophrenic or schizoaffective which like I said before, I don't believe. I am sane. Maybe just a little neurotic.

Awww. FireBird I wish I was there to give you a hug. It sounds like you are going through a rough time. I cannot believe that the hospital just sent you home after you came in with the inuries that you had. Over here where I live, one can be put into Pine Rest for a while for self-harm as it is a sign of major depression etc.

I'll keep continuing to pray for you and that you find comfort in your life. Just hang in there and it will get better soon, don't give up.

Weather

Where do you live, Weather? And what is Pine Rest? By the way, I'm not depressed but rather manic.

Hmm...

No. Yours is not a "sane" point-of-view.

My apologies, kiddo, if this offends you in any way, but I feel obligated to share with you my opinion.

I myself watched helplessly as a family member descended into the chaos that you are now apparently experiencing. At the time, nothing I said or did made a difference in the short term. In retrospect, I am convinced that the only way out of this sort of morass, perhaps for you too, is pharmaceutical intervention. The longer you allow yourself to drift in your current direction, the more difficult it will be for you to pull yourself out of it.

Please, Firebird, get some help. Bring along an advocate, perhaps a family member or social worker, and voluntarily enter a structured mental health program. Find a pharmaceutical regimen that works for you, and stick with it. I'm betting that there are folks in your life who are rooting for you in your struggle, and who would be delighted to see your situation improve. Take that first step and go for it.

Think about how good it will feel to let that stress and fear drop away. You can do it. Please. Go tomorrow.

I live in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Pine Rest is a mental hospital where you stay temporarily, such as if you had a nervous breakdown, attempted suicide, or have uncontrollable depression, etc. I have met people with schizophrenia and other neurological type illnesses there.

I didn't think you were depressed, I know you are having an episode right now and that it is not going to go away overnight, but I do think you need to get in and get help, this whole thing cannot be comfortable for you and I understand that. I'm having issues with my own psychiatrist (damn idiot didn't call in my Clonazepam and I need it to sleep.) So I will probably be talking to my caseworker about getting a doctor at the agency. It will be more convienient and it is on a bus line.

I have some paranoid delusions myself and I am easily suggestible. Like my mom confessed to me about 4 years ago, that while I was going through my Islam practice phase (It was shortly after 9/11 when I got interested in the religion and converted though now I don't practice it) she had contacted the FBI and asked that they monitor my dad's phone line because she was "worried about the people" that I was talking to, namely an Imam in Detroit and his wife as well as some others in the Muslim community there. Though she says that the FBI are probably no longer interested in me, it still bugs me and I think that they are out there, and even though I have a cell phone now, I wonder if they are still listening and if I am on some sort of "interest list."

But then again I'm paranoid about people reading my mind.

Weather

Weather, have you been diagnosed with a psychotic disorder? I am paranoid about people reading my mind as well because I get "thought broadcasting" which means everyone around you can hear your thoughts. I get this mainly in stores with a lot of people. It seems as if psychosis is common in people with autism or Asperger's. There are several people on here that have it.

I haven't been diagnosed per se. It is more of a self-conscious feeling but yes it can get unbearable. I try to "block" my mind by not looking at people or when I am on the bus just to look out the window. I am paranoid that people can read my thoughts and that they know things about me or what I am thinking that I would be embarrassed about, such as my interests.

I'd elaborate more but I gotta get to bed.

Weather

My uncle had the same problem with the government and the police. He went and got medication from a doctor to stop the mind control, and it worked well for him. It might help you too.

Firebird, psych drugs dont work, they have been proven not to work. Firebird you need to go to an holistic/ naturopathic practicinor, right now what you immediatly need to do is get a couple bottles of cherry plum bach flower essence and drink lots of it. its good for anxiety backed with anger and pscyhosis.

Actually, psych drugs DO work at times. My Invega worked for several months until I developed the side effects. Then I was off of it, leading to another breakdown, now I am back on it and I still get the side effects. This time it didn't work. My body has become resistant to it. It can take YEARS to find the correct meds for something like this. The pdoc also put me on something known as Moban which is an older anti psychotic and I am already getting the side effects off of that one too. Uncontrolled arm and leg movements. Since I am autistic, the meds are more likely to cause side effects and only work for a short period of time. It is because my brain is different from "normal" people otherwise known as non-autistics. I don't even think I am psychotic because look how clearly I can communicate!

Drugs suck, yeah I'll agree to that, but if it is helping then I would continue to take it until another solution could be found or a way to manage your episodes is found.

My sister has a friend who suffers from bi-polar and borderline schizophrenia, she is only 13 years old but I have seen her have an episode once and I have to imagine that it's a scary thing to go through. Like I said, there is no overnight solution but you must remain strong and continue on.

Weather

Your subconscious is trying to tell you something. You feel threatened and violated, completely misunderstood and alone. I have no cure that is guaranteed to suceede, except keep talking to the haven.

I went through a period somewhat similar, in a very generic sense. but make no mistake it was serious. I don't know how common it is, but it well documented for Bipolar, among others. Contrary to what you may think, it is not instant lock up and throw away the key. Never have they even suggested it for me. This was in the way back and they misdiagnosed me as elliptic. Much later, living through hell, although what you described did pass, I figured out part of what was going on. There is no need to go through that much, when it is very possible to get it taken care of. Now.

It is very common to find a med and they change the dose to adjust it or add another and when you go back to the one that did work a little, it no longer does. Very frustrating, very. But you have to be very honest and open with them and just as honest in saying, I'm over medicated. I've gone the zombie route too and didn't know I could just tell them to back off and instead took myself off of them, which to them meant, I was trying to protect my supposed "high" or manic. Not true and it has taken a long time for them to understand I just didn't know enough to say it, that I couldn't say it and make it come out correctly. It took a long time to find out that antidepressants just do not work for me and I stress the me. Another thing I have learned about myself and meds, it takes less, sometimes, for me to get the reaction they would normally anticipate on a higher dose. I have heard others here say the same thing.

In no way am I trying to tell you what you may or may not have. I am saying what you describe, while different, I did go through and I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell them all. It was not a good thing for me to do. You have said it here, that takes courage, now make the next step.

Listen to Lupine, please. All of it.