Tim_Tex wrote:
Sorry for the rare post-retirement post, but just within the past few days, I have had multiple stressors occur, one right after the other.
First, a very good friend just disappears, despite her promise not to. Any correspondence lasting more than a few days is a big deal to me, and I have been having near-daily meltdowns because of it. I have known this friend for almost two years.
Second, at about 12:30am, I checked my e-mail, and my university sends emergency alerts whenever something happens. It mentioned someone about 6' tall wearing dark clothing, supposedly following a female student on school property. I was wearing a dark grey T-shirt and black shorts yesterday, and I am 5'10". First of all, I don't follow people around. I don't keep track of where people are at a certain amount of time. Now they might not have been talking about me, but since I sometimes have an hour between classes, and I do pace and walk around a lot, I am very worried. But I don't deliberately walk in a certain direction simply because someone else is. Secondly, I am not interested in anyone at my school, so what reason would I have to follow anyone around?
I talked to my mom about it when I got the e-mail, because I was scared, especially hearing about stories of people on the autistic spectrum having issues with law enforcement. Instead of being sympathetic, she was angry at me for calling her at 12:30am. And when I called her today, because of everything stressful that has happened, she threatened to cut me off financially and told me never to call her again, not even if it's a medical emergency. I am unable to work because of my class schedule, I have virtually no friends (especially since I'm a Christian at a school where Christians are only seen as being racist, sexist, and homophobic), and my parents are so self-absorbed that see me more as an inconvenience and a financial burden, than their own son. They have practically disowned me.
*hugs*
Don't worry about the stalking thing, there's nothing much you can do about it and it's probably not you anyway (the description is very vague).
That sucks about your friend; I know what that feels like. I guess you've got to keep going and try to make new friends as best you can. You say you're a Christian, have you ever got involved much in your local Church? I've found a person can make heaps of friends and be in a really welcoming environment in their Church community.
As for your parents, I completely understand because I'm in the same situation (except much much less severe). Sometimes when I get multiple stressors (like you have) I crack and end up calling my mum, and she's really really sick of it. Afterwards I always regret calling her. I think maybe we need to find a better way to relieve the tension, I'm thinking of trying writing everything I want to say down instead.
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Into the dark...
12 Feb 2009, 4:49 pm
