Yuck again.

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Sorry, I'm just unloading here. Got home, thought it would be good to go out and eat at a pizza restaurant (with wife and sons). Wife wanted to do homemade pizza. She said she would do it without any problem. That was fine by me, although I said it would be easier to go out and eat. I had to lay down a bit (I was in a hyper mode last night and today---and I got allergic reaction I think to food I ate at lunch---I have been itching and getting blotchy on my legs and feet after lunch. Then my wife needs help---I go downstairs and help with what I can. Then she is trying to get a cutting board out of the cabinet that is stuck behind a bunch of cookie sheets. Then she hurts her hand, and I say an Aspie no no without thinking, "I told you it would be easier eating out." That was thoughtless of me. She took it wrong. I realize it is her Valentine's pizza for me (she used to do that when we were dating). I don't know how she ever put up with me. All it seemed like I did dating her was talk about roller coasters and house plans. But, I say the wrong things a lot then feel like crap. It must be in the air today because my boys are being rude (especially the oldest). A teacher earlier in the year said she thinks our youngest son shows signs of Asperger's. No big surprise to me. I think our oldest son has Asperger's, but anytime you mention anything like this to him he gets highly upset. He is 12, the youngest is 7. Sorry, just had to get this out. It's been a not-so-good week for me. On a good note for me, I got blueprints for a miniature golf course (from 1948) and for a funhouse. I've already run those in the ground with my wife when she got home from work. But I was excited about them and didn't give her the attention she probably wanted from me. It's fun being Aspie, but then again, there times when it's not so fun. And now I feel bad. Thanks for listening.

take heart glider.
you know, your post reveals a lot of thought and contemplation of the situation.
you have gond away from the situation and considered it. that shows real concern for self and others -EVEN if it is diffiuclt to express that appropriately in the moment.


maybe you could go and try to say to her that you really fo appreciate her efforts with the valentine's pizza, and that you remember this fondly from when you were dating.

good luck.
she is a lucky woman, old mate.

I commiserate glider. It sucks when you realize you hurt the other persons feelings only after you'd done it. Perhaps try to make it up to her by doing something special/romantic for her, just spontaneously buying her something (like a small piece of jewellery) or even just cleaning something or doing one of the things she normally has to do (the second two tend to help with my mum, whom I often mistreat I can't wait to get away from home so I can get the space I need to cope without constantly hurting her feelings).

bunch of flowers? to smooth things over? got a present?

what are you going to do with the plans for the mini golf course and funhouse?

I want to thank all of you. Things are good now.

millie---I did just that. I went downstairs and sincerely told her I was sorry and that she was the last person I would ever want to hurt. I hugged her, gave her a genuine kiss. And I told her about the fond memories of our dating days with these pizzas. Thank you millie, you have a way of making those who need it feel better. I appreciate you seeing that I have concern for others---sometimes I doubt myself there---My wife and therapist both say that sometimes I am too hard on myself.

sunshower---thank you. It does suck afterwards---big time. I feel like two inches tall. I think tomorrow I shall do that. I will try to get her to go to the mall and I will buy her a piece of jewelry. Fortunately, I had a little extra money left over after paying the bills. And, I did empty the dishwasher for her. I know what you mean about our mothers. I think I sometimes was unintentionally rude to my mother as I got older when I still lived at home. I lived with my parents until I was 25. It was very tough on me to make the committment to get married. Mom always laid my clothes out for me, and washed my hair, and brushed my hair, etc. until I was 25 years old. When I got married at 25 years old, my wife had to do that---I realize now how dependent I was on others. I finally learned how to take care of myself---but I still think that if I had to live alone I could barely take care of myself properly. Thank you again for the help.

Postperson---She made it clear last week she didn't want flowers. But the present---yes, that's a good idea. Like sunshower also suggested, I will buy her something that I hope is special. Thank you.
As for the mini-golf---this is one of my Aspie interests that I hope to make happen this year. The plan is intended for a 45 foot by 45 foot piece of land. I have that in our side yard and I thought about starting by making a couple or three of the holes this year, and keep adding on year after year. The holes are about 12 foot long ones---so it's not a real big golf course. Kind of depends on finances too---I don't want to be impractical. As for the funhouse---I'm going to make it into one of my amusement park models for my HO scale train layout in the basement---another one of my interests. My main amusement park love is roller coasters. I am not bragging here, but just showing how bad I had it when I was young---but by the time I entered high school I had memorized every roller coaster's length, height, year of build, designer, and builder in the United States, Canada, and Mexico. I usually carried roller coaster books and drawings to class with me---even in college.

wow, nice 'special interest' there. fun!