My Future Terrifies Me.

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I am fifteen and there is a part about my future that terrifies me. That is the fact that I may never be able to live on my own. I need someone there for me at all times. My parents do that for me now. My brother Seth insists that he will take care of me when our parents are no longer around, and anyone he is going to be in a relationship with will have to accept that. I don't want to have to live with a parent forever and then be a burden on my brother. It scares the hell out of me to think that I will never have a normal adult life. Sure, I am smart enough to go to college and get a degree and all of that. I will not be able however to fend for myself. I don't want to have to live in some kind of group house or have just a full time nurse around.


Will it be possible for me to have a real future, when I don't even remember to brush my hair or eat on my own?

If you work on remembering to brush your hair or eat on your own, you could do it. I mean you get hungry and can feel it so I don't think there is no way you will forget to eat because you be starving and you would want to eat. I hate cooking so I eat food that doesn't require lot of cooking. I mostly eat boxed noodles for dinner when I am on my own. Sometimes I go for canned food or ice cream.

I feel it a little if I think I might be hungry. Sometimes I just think I have a belly ache though and don't recognize when I am hungry, unless I get really hungry. I guess that's good though right? If I at least eat when I am really hungry I won't starve. Maybe I just have to get more independent with myself?

^I get that too.

Try to remember that you're 15 - you will continue to grow and change. If you work on becoming more independent, you will. You may need to do things to help you remember things (like brushing your teeth) that some people do more automatically, but if you want to, you can figure out ways to remember - maybe a sign on the bathroom mirror or door? If you tend to do things in a routine, try to add it to one of your regular routines, so you are less likely to forget.

Eating is a tough one, if you don't feel hungry. I think there are lots of people like that. Try to eat at "normal" eating times. Like Spokane Girl said, it doesn't have to be anything fancy - as long as it's something that will sustain you in good health.

But again, you have time - most fifteen-year-olds aren't ready to be out on their own just yet. You can learn, even if what you need to learn is a bit different or might take a bit longer. If you want to figure out ways to do the things you mentioned, you'll be able to.

Maybe you could make a list of the things you have difficulty with and work on them one at a time. You have YEARS ahead of you to get everything you need to learn down.

Like the others are saying add it to your routine, after a while it should just start to feel like it belongs there. Start with little self reminders, hang them up so you can remember better.

As for the hunger thing, set yourself on a schedule. Start wearing a watch, if you can, or have a clock near by so you can see when you normally eat, and then you can set your timer for about 5 minutes before so you can get used to the idea of "it's almost time to eat."

Sometimes I don't feel hungry, but all the sudden I'll just get this real lack of energy and think... oh my, have I eaten today? Sometimes the answer is a no, but I'm still here. Odd how I have the children on a schedule, make them food, then forget to eat, but oh well.

Even if you do end up living with your brother by that time you should be more independent and shouldn't feel like you are taking all his time. Remember that he is family and he loves you and would hate for anything bad to happen to you. He might not mind it as much as you think he would. There is, however, nothing wrong with self betterment and it can only help you in many ways.

I feel the same way. I'm 13 and given the choice I would sit around all day posting on WP, eating crisps, drinking hot chocolate, watching TV and sleeping at irregular times. No way could I ever hold down a job, let alone take care of myself. I realise I'm 13, but it really scares me.

Never say never. You're 13, you don't know anything about your potential yet you're still growing. Sometimes people as they grow older realize more things and evolve.

I don't eat until I'm starving but I have breakfast nonetheless because it's the most important meal of the day. I heard it gets your metablism going. I'm guilty of not always eating when I'm supposed to because I get lazy so I might not feel like getting myself some breakfast. I tend to eat two meals a day because I do get up late in the morning and then don't eat till evening or late noon and then I'm done.

Do you need really someone all time around you? You are certain? At least you seem to have enough intelligence to write reasonable English.

If you are not bodily handicapped, than it is first and foremost a matter of your will. Your are 15, so you even did not finish school. Take the time to think about the live you (no one else) wants to life. It is neither the live of your brother, nor the live of parents!



There are much more important thinks than brushing hair and real hunger will tell you when to eat. How tells you that brushed hair are always important? Pick-up a job in which the grey matter under your hair is more important than the state of hair! Do something in school - and prepare YOUR live.

I am 30 and still exhibit a lot of those traits, but I live on my own. I write notes in dry-erase marker on surfaces all over the house. I cross things out, I never do them in order, and I forget what I am doing in the middle of it. At work I am a SysAdmin, so I work in isolation and get to have somewhat arbitrary deadlines for projects, and other than that my job is responding to events outside of my control! Event, react! Maybe if you find something that holds your interest and allows your "issues" to be assets you'll feel more secure. I have found that I end up not eating for a couple of days, or eating minimally. Periodically I'll eat a whole lot over a couple of days, and then go back to my lean-times eating pattern. Maybe you'll find your own way of living. We do NOT have to eat three times a day morning noon and night, that is a societal norm!

There is a kind of NTs around which like to care for others, they do it not because they want really to help they just need the feeling to be needed for their own wellbeing.

We had be aware about such people - such people do not have any real interest in getting anyone, ever placed under their "loveing" care, out of their control and allow to go our own ways.

I'm already 18 and still worried about that.

Since some hours I am 45. One of the few things I learned in the previous 27 years: "Don't make any great plans, it will come differently." and "Because you don't know, there is no reason to worry: it wouldn't change anything!"

I am also 15 and I feel the same way. What Im worried most about is how will I rember to take my medication. I spoke to my parents about my worries and they said that even after I'm 18 I can still stay with them. But what is helping me most is when I pracitce doing these things on my own.

Put a list of your grooming routine on the bathroom mirror. (brush hair, brush teeth, deodorant, etc) After a while it becomes a routine and you don't have to think about it.

Nobody in the history of the world has starved to death because they forgot to eat, and you won't be the first. I often forget when I am busy, but my body always eventually reminds me.