Really confused
I'm getting really confused. I'm an over thinker- well really which Aspie isn't- and it caused me serious problems. To cut a long story short my psychologist had instructed me to only do things I enjoy and to stop saying to myself I should do something if I don't actually have to e.g. I should do homework but I don't have to read a book.
That's the theory but in practise I'm confused. In the winter I often get quite down but this year with an official diagnosis of depression it's been harder, I don't really feel like doing anything.
Normally I enjoy writing, in particular fanfics to do with my special interest but at the moment I feel very little drive to do so. The interest I have is not a very strong one and it is only really held together by my writing and a few things I'm reading.
So should I be making myself write because I do normally enjoy it and because the idea of not finishing it makes me anxious, or should I not do it- and quite frankly not do anything- because I don't really want to.
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~Pixie~
I really like cathylynn's suggestion. It seems to me, if you really followed the psychologist's suggestion, you would not do anything (unless you had an urge/wanted to do something). People were always telling me to "just relax". That is what I feel like telling you but it is much easier said than done.
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Impermanence.
I often find the expectation of failure stops me from doing things that, if I just stopped worrying and did them, I would enjoy and be successful at.
Especially when you are depressed, getting motivated to do anything can be pretty difficult.
The suggestion of trying a little bit of an activity is a great one. Often it's just the first few minutes that are the hardest and once you get into it, you find your energy for the project increases a lot.
If there is something you actively dislike doing and you have the option of not doing it, then don't force yourself to do it even if others say you'll enjoy it. I don't like going to loud, crowded parties and even though people tell me I should enjoy them, I don't. So I don't go to loud, crowded parties.
But also try some things that you haven't enjoyed every now and then if you think perhaps you might enjoy it this time. I hated Brussels sprouts when I was a kid. I tried them again recently. Still hate them. But at least now I know they are the spawn of the devil. On the other hand, I didn't think I'd like Charles Dickens' books because I heard he tended to be sentimental. Then I read some and found I really like his writing.
There were films that I'd didn't like when I was younger, but now that I'm older and have a different perspective, I can now appreciate them. And there are films that I have re-watched and am astounded I ever like them.
As Cathylynn suggests, try some activity for a little bit to see if you can get over the initial resistance to the project. But if you really don't enjoy it, don't drive yourself crazy making yourself do it. I guess the thing to do when you are depressed is to try to have a bit extra patience and endurance in getting started on a project.
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Never let the weeds get higher than the garden,
Always keep a sapphire in your mind.
(Tom Waits "Get Behind the Mule")
Well said.
If you don't enjoy starting it, and you don't enjoy doing it, and you only slightly enjoy finishing it, then guess what? You don't actually enjoy it.
There are plenty of things in the world to do. Find something you like and try to turn it into a productive activity with a sense of accomplishment and contribution. Sounds like you're trying to do the opposite, heh.
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http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-tru ... er-person/
http://www.wimp.com/speakconviction/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFzXaFbxDcM
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confused, don't know how to feel about this convesation |
10 Feb 2025, 5:18 pm |