RANT...mothers...shop owners

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My recent meltdown (that is still happening) was brought on by me having a miscommunication with a shop owner and my mother saying a few of the my most hated words.

I tried to explain why a power supply for my PC wasn't working, but the shop owner just jumped in and said that he couldn't refund it (i know that, but i could exchange it) and he kept going on about how all power supplies will work. This wasn't quite true. With my last power supply my monitor plugged into it, but this one did not.
Then he wanted me to bring it in for repairs. I'm very possessive of my PC, so I've never let anyone but myself and my brother repair it. And I really would prefer my brother give me his old PC, which is better than my broken one. I finally caved when my mother yelled at me. I felt a meltdown coming on and wanted to get out of the shop ASAP.
Then I said 'it's hard to talk to that guy'. I shouldn't have because she snapped at me and said once I have something in my mind I stick to it. Well gee b*** did it ever occur to you that I'm autistic and have problems communicating with another person? And that guy was really hard to explain things to and he kept interrupting me, because I insulted his beloved power supply.
I really wish I could say these things to her but I couldn't, I just stood there and got angrier and angrier. Then we had tea and I was still so angry I was shaking as I was drinking my tea, making it very hard to swallow.

/rant.

Oh and please no advice about fixing my computer. I'm still far too angry about this and any mention about my computer will make me lose it. But thanks for your concerns, if you indeed had any.

I am sorry you had so much trouble there.
sometimes shop keepers can be very pushy.
Especially if there trying to sell you something.

I hope everything gets better. You seem to handle your temper very well , better then I would have.


I hope things get better.

Sorry the shop owner was a ass.
This is why most of the time I shop online, I can take my good old time, think about everything with out any know it all's bothering me. When I walk into a electronics store, and the people working there tell me a bunch of BS, telling me things I know are not tru, just to sell something, that makes me to mad to think straight. Then they want to sell you the $60 6 year warenty plan for a $30 part!! !! !
Hope you feel better soon

So sorry pensieve - I know meltdown pain too....ouch.

Really nice you have a sanctuary to be alone - I'm quite like that too; just need to be alone at times.

For me, meltdowns are two-fold....1) Sensory (overwhelm pain!) & 2) sense of being 'cut-off' from the outside, where I am can be painfully misinterpreted &/or misunderstood. And there's no way out.

Sorry your mum would yell at you for what you cannot control - that's like a recipe for 'ouch!' I do wish outsiders could know how hard we all try, and that meltdowns are involuntary (like you said, you are autistic!). Trust, if I could control meltdowns I would! Just doesn't work that way....sigh.

Hope you feel better. And your computer too.

pensieve, just to confide: I've had meltdowns with such severity that I cannot stop screaming. I usually curl up into a ball and SCREAM, cry hysterically until I'm incapacitated. Not too often, but I've had 'serial meltdowns' where I've screamed so intensely that afterward I'm swallowing blood since my throat is raw. At that point I collapse from exhaustion. My prescription is Clonazepam (mild anti-seizure & anti-anxiety). I'm really trying to do better with meltdowns. Weirdly, I truly don't have the emotion of anger but instead I experience intense self-frustration; like being locked in a box and thrown into the deep ocean. Above paragraph is worst-case-scenario - not the 'usual' meltdown (thankfully).

In any case, I do hope you feel better soon. Maybe your posting helps, yes?

Just wondering, but during meltdown, or when feeling 'melty' (my word!), do you sense everything is moving very very quickly? I do get visual distortion and, supposedly, this isn't too uncommon. Sometimes, inside, my self-frustration is intense.