I cannot help but hate them...

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Last week I found out that a friend of mine was cutting herself. I was the first to know, and I was the one who told her other closest friends. They didn't believe me until she admitted it herself, and then of course everyone is all caring and trying to sort it out.

And I cannot help hating them for it.

I cannot help but hate them for all the attention they give her because of her depression, whilst I have been suffering for years.

I cannot help but hate the fact that everyone cares for her, but they have never cared for me in the same way.

I cannot help but hate them for comforting her when she breaks down, but merely shunning me.

I cannot help but hate them for helping her, and leaving me to struggle alone.

I cannot help but hate them for only caring about the physical scars, and never my emotional ones

I cannot help but hate them for crying over her injuries, whilst overlooking mine


I cannot help but hate them for all of this, despite how unfair it may be.
I can barely manage to do my school work anymore, I can hardly distinguish from reality and fantasy. Every day is a struggle for me, and every time I walk everything goes fuzzy, because I am not in good health. I am not the same person I was a year ago, and yet nobody has noticed. And nobody seems to care until I force them to.

Don't worry I know what you're going through (just see my most recent thread in this forum). The only difference is its not my friends who treat me this way, but my immediate family. But I have learned to accept it, I cant change it if they see other peoples difficulties as more in need of sympathy than mine. Its ok, after a while you begin to accept. Dont hate them, it just makes you subordinate to their feelings. Break free of them, and look within yourself your help. If you feel you need support, speak to people who you feel will definately show you understanding. I'm sure there will be a few. Good luck...

I've learnt something. Don't try to force the issue. If you have to be on your own, know that it is better for you. If it was better to have the help of others you would have gotten it. If you dont have it, you dont need it, so don't force yourself to want it. Hope everything works out.

That really sad to hear, but i dont think you should hate
them for that. Wish you the best of luck, hope it works
out

It's great you helped your friend get the attention she needed for her compulsion. Everyone needs friends like that. Obviously as aspies we're a lot better at hiding our emotions, at keeping our true feelings locked up. I hope if your friends were aware of the pain you were feeling they would be willing to help you however they could. If they don't notice your suffering they're probably like everyone else, so wrapped up in themselves they don't notice what is going on around them.

Hating them for not noticing your pain, for not helping you cope with your sorrow isn't going to help you. The hate will only grow inside you until you are only a dark twisted shell. You have to let go of the hate. If these friends aren't there for you get rid of them. If they only cause you pain get rid of them.

I don't have a lot of experience dealing with friend so I hope this helps some.

Sorry to hear about all that.

Keep in mind that your friends were oblivious about your friend who cut herself, so they may not be the most observant people in the world. Also, hate isn't the most pleasant of emotions, so even if they did deserve it, I wouldn't recommend it.

When you're miserable, everything seems worse than it is. Just keep in mind that some of those annoying shiny gray spots in the clouds may be silver linings.

Yeah I've noticed that. Seems like you have to be damned near suicidal before anyone cares.
Guidance counselor/therapist?
I wish I had advice.

For a moment I can see myself
Trapped in your reflection.
I'm angry and I'm lonely
And I'm dying for attention.
(old Warrant lyrics)

I know how you feel, for some reason we seem to get passed over a lot.
I know that I won't show it when I'm miserable, yet I still get mad that nobody notices.

FieryGatoh, you have every right to hate what they did; they acted unfair.