THe physical and mental anguish created this reaction suck.

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THe physical and mental anguish caused byt this reaction/blockage are difficult to put up with. I never feel piece or rest or comfort even when i sleep. Its like a splinter in my mind driving me nuts and preventing mother nature from doing its job. It makes doing any activity real hard. It often leads my mind to thoughts(though they dont realy completely materialize in whats left of my mind) of chucking everything, everything from walking away from my apartmetn to things more terminal, but i keep reminding myself that that isnt me and that isnt realistic.

What DOES work for you? Watching a sitcom? Ice cream? Odd little chores?
Does anything take you away, even for a little while?

food, going to the gym sometimes when i can certain relaxing herbs(though i keep getting used to them) my dog in when he licks my ears in the morning.

Something about your dog made me think of this.

My favorite things - The Sound of Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AdMTTwG7Fw

Maybe you could write a song.
hmmm... what rhymes with "herb?" Curb, burb (suburb)... nah.
Gym, brim, dim, hymn, limb, prim, rim, slim, trim, vim, whim.

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If you're open to it, sometimes a fun tune will just come to you. You have all the pieces and suddenly something clicks and they all fall together. Like the vacation packing song below -- it felt like it just wrote itself.

The following lyrics should be sung to the tune of
"I'll Know When My Love Comes Along,"
from the Broadway musical, "Guys & Dolls."
(Ask your grandmother. She'll remember it.)

We were getting ready to go down the shore a few years ago when I overheard the following exchange between my beloved first born (age 13) and his patriarch:

Kid: (Throwing things in his bag, apparently at random.)
Dad: "How will you know when you've packed enough stuff?"
Kid: "I'll know."
Mom: (ahem...)

I'll know when I've packed enough stuff
I'll know then and there
I'll know I have just what I need
'f I end up going nude I won't care
And they'll stop, and they'll stare
At my butt
In the air
Oh, I'll know when I've packed enough stuff.

I know that I have enough clothes
Old jeans I'll re-wear
My jammies I have had since my birth
And so what if my shirt has a tear?
Have I socks? underware?
Where's my shoes?
I don't care!
Yes, I know that I have enough clothes

I know what's important to me
I've planned each full day
PlayStation, GameCube and TV
Surf the net, check my mail or e-bay
NeoPets, WarCraft III
My Laptop
Sets me free!
For I know what's important to me

(Repeat first verse with gusto, full orchestration, five-part harmony...)

(The first verse just popped out of the ether, fully formed.)

==================================

For a while, we sang this one to my son.
(His nick name was "Tripp" because he's the third.
Grandpa was Senior, Dad is Junior, the kid is the third... work it out.)

Happy birthday to Tripp
You've just let one rip
Your Mother just fainted
And your Dad's gonna flip

(While at first amused, he grew to dislike this jungle intensely.
I can't see why, myself...)