I think Im turning crazy.

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First of all, I'd like to say I'm glad I found this message board, I'm sure I have some interesting reading ahead.

I would like to talk about a situation I think I'm living right now, and like always, want to know if other people have experienced it. Since I'm an aspie (self-diagnosed), I have a horrible-odd social behaviour as you might guess. Some time ago, about 2 years from now, I started studying people's behaviour, a task I see most of you have done. I observed, analized and created conclusions. I then started to understand a lot about society, people and their relationships, and the more I did this the more I realized I was not normal, I analized my behaviour on social meets and compared it with how the other people acted. Very surprising to realize I was a bit authistic, even though I considered all my life (up to my teenage years) I was a normal guy, maybe a little "odd". After reading a lot about aspergers I realized I might have AS, and everyday I find other clues that supports that.

The problem now. Maybe I analize people a lot more than I should, now I know everything they are going to do, why they say that, why they did something. I spot when someone is trying to become my friend, or hoping for me to do the next step to the friends stage, or a sexual/intimate stage, or when someone does not like me. I even understand their secret subconscious language they have going on, a language I'm sure they don't consciously understand. For instance, I can spot when people tries to make fun of me or turn people against me, even if they are not saying anything like that, normal people appareantly get those secret messages, and even laugh about them but dont know how or why. The thing is Im always thinking this things and I feel very anxious and uncomfortable in social situations, If someone tries to be nice to me, intead of feeling pleased about it I get unomfortable, thinking about all the possible meanings his actions might have, and how I should respond.

I don't know if this is normal, it shouldn't be, although I learn a lot and could use the social knowledge to excel in certain things, I think Im going crazy and will never be able to have real friends or a serious relationship.

Your thoughts?

You are not crazy. You're on the spectrum like everyone else in here.

Don't read too much into people's behaviour. If they're openly being friendly to you they probably do mean it. Also, don't be afraid to explain to people that you have AS if you're in a social situation and not doing well. I've sometimes felt the need to do this as I wasn't understanding people or acting the wrong way and not realizing. They were cool about it and accommodated me.

simple, you read in to everything then you adapt yourself after the situation causing you to lose yourself cuz you're afraid to be yourself and you often end up as the one changing and adapting yourself to the freaks and ghouls we call normal people.

I wish I could close my eyes and give you a mental b***h slap.

Just be yourself, and no you're not going kookoo you're just unsure how to act when truth is they are all acting the same cuz they are waaaay more unsure themselves.

get it?

good luck and stay frosty.

edit:
welcome to WP

Last edited by SoulcakeDuck on 09 Apr 2009, 5:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just because you can understand it intellectually, the way most people understand it intuitively, doesn't mean you will be able to replicate this behavior at will.

welcome to the site.

Its good your talking about this in a calm way rather then going completly ballistic. Just like the first response on here dont read into peoples behaviour or better yet if you think its something agaisnt you then dont worry about it. If they were being mean and noticed it had no effect and you'll get more respect.

After observing NT behavior for a half-century, I sorta occasionally understand the reasoning (if any) behind it, but I will never comprehend the values that motivate so much of it. It’s the same reason I can’t abide crap like Survivor, The Apprentice or American Idol. How can any intelligent creature find entertainment value in deceiving and hurting others, while pretending to be their friend? Oooh, that nasty ol’ Simon, what ugliness will he spew at some naive no-talent who has volunteered to be humiliated in the most public possible way, or better yet, be ground to pate in the fabulous star-maker machine and spewed across the late-night media, then left to dry, crust and blow away, forgotten and washed up after a literal Warholian fifteen minutes…yaay!

I once believed that behavior was generally a junior high and high-school thing that people outgrew as they matured, but noooooo…the thing is, the vast majority never mature – they’re just as sneaky, heartless and self-serving when they’re fifty as when they’re fifteen. If that isn’t enough to make you a little paranoid, you’re just not paying attention.

I think your being a bit hard on Simon, he never pretends to be anything and his criticisms are harsh but they're fair and he's just as big on his praise as his criticisms when they're good.

But I don't get why humiliation is considered interesting either, I only watch the last rounds when everyone is talented.