Wish i had my iq(and everything else back) back.

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Recovery is taking forevvvvvvvverrrrrrrr... I just got a message back from person doing the supplementary protocol that she never got my list of what i was taking. I really really want to be the shining intellectuall giant i once was. I am since of being and acting functionally ret*d. If it wasnt for all the stupid "meds" i would be dominating the ppr section. I have spent 6 montsh going nowhere when i should have been in serious recovery because of a mistake that was not my fault. I have people i talk to for peer support, but i dont really talk as a much because nothing is really different and i cant understand nor remeber what they say. I really have not made a dent in the nuerocognitive and nueropsychologic defieciets the "meds" gave. sometimes i have this little "voice" in the back of my head sometimes thats says just go ahead and quit. I keep going any way, though i have completely exhausted internal resources for self improvement.
My situation right now is while better in terms of severity than it was months or years ago, its worse in that its complexicity, in that there is no specific problem that can have a specific solution, there doesnt doesnt seem to be anyone i can go see, anything i can really do, or anything i can take to make the critical difference. I am wholly dependatn on others.
too much of what happens seems to be beyond my personal control and seems to be depedant on luck/fate/God.

THe whole process is becoming tiresome and just want to get through it already with no more delays. THere is so much crap in the world that needs fixing and im sitting helpless to do anything about it.


THe sad part is all this stuff with the diagnosises and the meds and hospitals and the brain and mental damages, its not me. I was robust multifaceted person. Alll thsi mental crap was forced on me for extremely dubious reasons.

yeah, i seem to recall a different 'nightbender' from long ago, but i haven't really followed your story so i don't know what happened. are the meds compulsory, like did you get into trouble with authorities or something?

you're getting your own accomodation soon aren't you, so would it be better to wait for that to come thru before you try and change anything else?

Antipsychotics (especially) and ssri's can suppress some of the dopamine system.

Dopamine plays a role or a direct role in reward, movement, motivation, and learning.
So those drugs probably could create some kind of long-term "organic brain syndrome".
Your dopamine receptors probably don't have a good adaption yet to normal brain chemistry and normal life so it may take a while. You may still have trouble learning etc..

Your dopamine D2 receptors are probably in a state of synsetivity. www.mindcontrolforums.com then type additionally "/psychkills.htm" on your webaddress browser.

I don't like posting anything like this on wrongplanet so bare with me.

And since you know so much about medicines and want to know more, perhaps some college work will help you find your way into the mental health system and meet people who are in the same situation that you are in.

Sorry if I go a little bit off topic but this thread gives me the occasion to make a question that recently is often on my mind. I've taken 10 mg of Paxil for 8 months, then stopped for 4 and taken for other 3, then I quit for good. My question is: can such a treatment cause permanent damage ? Ok, maybe this sounds a bit too dramatic, the fact is that I feel a little more stupid (stoned) than I was before. Maybe is just due to changes in lifestyle (playing a lot of videogames Vs. studying) but this kind of tought (meds ruining me) still bothers me. Anyone with specific knowledge on this topic ?

welllll life stupifies you, it may not be the drugs!

Paxil is a bit notorious for making people 'blank', if not overweight. you should do a google on its adverse qualities. i don't know why aspies would be taking this stuff, i only tried a couple: zoloft and the quit smoking one (old style antidepressant, i forget the name) because GPs forced them on me and also I wanted to try to quit smoking, the side effects were worse than the symptoms they proposed to treat and i stopped them pretty quickly. maybe people who have dual dx'es or need to get thru the stress of fulltime work would need these things.

If you had permenant brain damage, you would know.

just think that ssri's are "emotionally" addicting. you become afraid of normal life if you think that something will cure everything in it.

There are people out there that smoke maryjuana and don't stop or only much later on in life do they stop. Is it ethical to do maryjuana even if maryjuana is not known to affect the brain at least in any permanant or adverse ways? What if maryjuana was a debate over if its ethical to ingest it or not? Or do more studies need to be done on it?

Little is known about how the brain uses neurotransmitters to learn, lable information as important and unimportant, or form short-term memories. We only have the faintest idea of it. Drugs change all those processes. If you want to study it you can become a neurocomputational biologist or neuroscientist to try to figure it out.

THis is getting aggravating. People that are supposed to support me when i tell them whats going with me in a straight forward fashion dont believe me and instead think i have a bad attitude.
My online reocovery person didnt get the email i sent her twice in a row.



I know alot about these drugs and thier effects, too bac most of it is suppressed

I was once mis-diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia by a self-serving psychiatrist. Fortunately I had already studied that illness to some extent, and knew that it was a negative prognosis for me. After getting out of the psych ward, I stopped taking the risperadone because I didn't want to risk permanently injuring my physiology. Thirteen years later, I was correctly diagnosed with AS.

I hope you have success in regaining yourself, Nightbender. I'm surprized that you have a diagnosis of something that is treated with psychiatric meds, when you already had the diagnosis of AS.

I used to take a ton of meds. I did not take meds until I was 20. at age 3,because at 2.5 years old I had stopped talking, but regained my speech within less than a year, but had the stereotypically movements and sensory issues, but I was not in my own world, but in 1981 they only had autism, so that is what I dxed with. At age 12, they retested me becasue I had a very advanced vocabulary and had no disability what so ever, except for the sensory and the rocking, but that was considered hyperactivity if anything. I had a very high IQ and was mainstreamed in to regular school, and eventually, I ended up graduating high school with honors. Well, at 20, I got overwhelmed and developed depression and anxiety because I graduated at 18, and I was not emotionally mature yet to go onto the adult world, but my mom made me work or go to school.
To make a long story short, my mom got a counselor from an autism agency. This counselor saw me for counseling and also suggested I see one of the psych med doctors. The psych med doctor suggested I get an evaluation. Unfortunately, he put me on the meds first, and I ended up waiting 4 months for one. By the time the evaluation came, my brain and thinking was already messed up because of the meds.
Well, even though the counselor herself diagnosed me with asperger's, but because of the thought-robbing meds, when I did my evaluation, I ended up with an IQ of 60, which meant I was mentally ret*d and my diagnosis ended up being Autism instead. Even though I had all of the Asperger traits, but because of a messed up IQ test, I got diagnosed as Autism. back then, asperger's was about the same as autism, except if you ahd a high IQ it was asperger's, a low IQ, it was autism. I had all of the traits of asperger's, but because of these meds, I got this diagnosis and ended up put into an autism program and residence, even though I am very independent to work and live on my own. Now I am stuck here all because of meds.
But for many years i had developed serious health issues from all these meds, like diabetes and other problems. It turned out I was intolerant of them, and my pituitary gland in my brain reacted to them. I got off them,but still in this place, but I ahve gotten my smarts back, am going back to college,a nd I am now moving out.
I medications are a bad idea because they robbed me of 10 years of my life that I could have been successful and instead, was wasted being treated like an ingrate.

Maya

Also, get off those medications, it seems like you alos have the same reactions like I do. This si why I can not trust the psychiatric communtiy. They put you on meds to make you "ret*d", so that people can control you just because you have a disabilty. This si whta it is like. The autism place that did my "counseling also is the same agency that runs my residential and day program. Even though they no longer have the counseling and med doctor, sicne 2002, I got another one and for another 6 years, they manipulated him into giving me medications I did not need, and even mainpulated him into saying I had all of these psych rpblems and that I was out of control, when really, I jsut complained about no having any independence and that the housemate that was more disabled that I am is harassing me. When this kid harrassed me I did nothing to him. all i did was complain to staff about him, but because he's more disabled than me, I was seen as insensitive, and oppostional. When I wanted independence and started not wanting help, I was seen as withdrawn, unsafe, suicidal, and al of this other stuff that I was not, just so they can put me on more meds, so that they can ret*d me, so I would allow them to control me.
Well, I hope this give you some insight, even though I am not sure what your story is, but I know what it is like with those medications and they are very devastating. I would get off them and before you know it, your IQ will go up high and you can accomplish all of the thinsg you ever wanted too. I am and it feel great to have my life back. I have asperger's and I may have social deficits and be a little immature, but I rather have my smarts and live my life they way I want it, then have it "robbed" because of an insensitive person's opinions of me, who does not see that asperger's is a great thing, which makes me smart, but instead sees it as a nuisance, even though it is not. I hope this helps you a lot and good luck. Remember the faster you get of, the quicker you can have your life back.
Maya

Hi, guys. Just thought I'd mention, this thread was quoted in:

*The Medicalization of Society*
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt94866.html