Need Help

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Alright, My name is David, I'm 22 years old. As of now, I live at home and am working on my senior thesis for college. I finished my coursework in December but need to finish my thesis to graduate. As of now, I will not have my thesis done in May to receive my diploma, but I was granted a year extension on my thesis; I should have received my diploma in December, but that's another story.

I've been depressed for most of my life and have struggled with suicide. A lot of it has also been riddled with substance abuse (painkillers and alcohol).

Being out of college has made me realize how truly alone I am in this world. I can really go several days without speaking to anyone.

I have trouble stating what constitutes, or what does not constitute a "suicide attempt" so for all simplicity I will just say that I am having trouble with my depression, and it is getting worse.

Recently, I am being rejected by grad schools and ignored by the few people I considered my friends.

So yeah, I'm really looking for any advice, support, help, or even just someone to talk to at this point.

Also, I am leaving the country for a bit tomorrow.

Thanks, David

One possible scenario>

Theres a part of you that is trying to sabotage yourself, that's the thesis you have to make, a part of you doesn't want to do it, so these depressions start to appear by themselves and you try to blame other things that might cause it, such as being alone, your friends etc.

Maybe you could obtain another extension. They usually accomodate those with disabilities or conditions such as depression more. It might help if you get a letter from your doctor. I required a couple of extensions (though they didn't require a doctor's note.) It's difficult enough to write something like that without depression etc. I'm going to have much more trouble getting a job after what my last university did to me; it was outside of my control, and I had to deal with it in addition to disability. My health deteriorated due to burnout.