Sometimes life is just meaningless to me anymore

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Not that i'm going to die over it or anything just this empty feeling.

While there is this place to chat on or someone to call, it just gets lonely when there's no one to actually talk to or hang around out with and it's mostly my fault because I can be terribly selfish when and when I don't .

I mostly blame myself but I have to admit, it's very hard with the limited access to transportation here and getting stuck out in the middle of nowhere. So it isn't easy for me to go out and do something "social" or stuff like volunteer work anymore. Many times I have tried distracting myself from the thoughts but they just get harder and harder.

It's still hard for me to get over the grief this year. I keep asking myself stupid questions that will never be solved or resolved..."Will they ever come back or will I ever get to see them again?"...even though I know they're not and that's what's SO painful right now. I never thought much about death except ending my own. Now it's just constantly on my mind since all this stuff happened this year. My motivation just to live is getting more and more harder to follow by....don't even feel like eating or buying food and I keep asking myself that which can't be answered.


Anyway no one has to give feedback, just a rant.

Last edited by MissConstrue on 07 Apr 2009, 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I had some losses. "Friends" I invested a lot of time into (not for dating, just friendship) lost interest and stopped replying to my emails and messages. It sucks because they got my hopes up by saying they like me. And then they disappeared. Kind of a slow, drawn out rejection. It's been a mixed blessing. Two people online seem like they might remain my friends, but we'll see.

MissC, I really wish I could help but I'm sort of in the same boat right now. I have lost any motivation I had to keep going. I'm not planning anything but I' don't know what to live for anymore.

I think the loss of my father destroyed whatever kept me content because it seems like it is around that time when life and its troubles really started to get to me.

Well anyway, I'm not sure what else to say other than that I can relate.

double post, ignore

MissConstrue- I’m so sorry to hear about your losses. I know this probably doesn’t mean much to you but I’ll pray for you tonight (something I don’t do very often). I’m afraid I don’t have any useful advice but I certainly hope things work out for you.

Yeah that must be hard.

I really didn't know about loss how it could affect anyone until it actually happened to me.

Hang in there SF.

I CAN HELP YOU!! ! Noam Chomsky, not his political views, but what he says about living a meaningful and constructive life. He says it's hard to make sense of one's own life. He makes things very clear. He makes it clear how to find what to live for. Read his interviews, his books, look him up on youtube.

Thanks for the words but this is MissC's thread. Could she benefit from that as well?

We need a friend who we KNOW will reply to us, who we can verbalize our worries and not make the friend feel responsible to solve our problems. We need someone who is acknowledges our existence in this world and validates us. Not too much to ask. Just some time and effort and a little attention on the other person's part.

Show us your tits.













































hahaha

I'm just kidding.

Hey, listen to this song...

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZB1cNkC71vE&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

I feel about the same way. Pretty much like I'm living in my own prison wile time waists away. I wait in hope that one day I will be free.

What happened this year? Who died? Who left? When did the grief start?

What do you do during the day? Do you have stuff to keep you occupied? When is that empty feeling worse and when is it better?

My heart goes out to you and in the way of hope i can offer this - if you post on WP and PM with members back and forth - people already know you. I was looking through the posts and was like - oh that's MissConstrue - the blonde chick with a "what haircut?" So i do feel like i know you, Strapples, Mitharatowen and many other members who post a lot (many others i have not mentioned due to lack of space) so eventually the messaging will fill the emptyness in your heart and you will feel more satisfied with life. and if you verbalize the grief and self blame stuff - like i do - you will feel better.

even i was shocked about this and im a dirty old man

Enjoy.....
















































don't mess with my tits!

you know im a clown but saying i wanna see your tits especially in a forum where people are looking for help isnt cool dude. theres a time and place fo everything and if this was my topic i'd be pissed if someone said that to me while i was looking for help. anyways sorry mrs c for not contibuting to your topic. i feel the same way about my dad and extended family, i wanna have something to do with them but at the same time i dont because i feel so betrayed by them. this causes me to hate life pretty much and i just dont understand how you can act like that and not have nothing to do with your kids, (us) its an awful feeling and i dont want to deal with it anymore