I am NOT "everyone"

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Today, I went over to my grandma's to be with my grandma. THe aide's (Who happens to be a very good friend of the fmaily's/my mom's) comes over and starts to do the usual things. Her kids come over. They go for a walk. She tells me to go with them, which I politely decline. She says, "He's your friend, no?" I supposed so. "Then why don't you go with him?" I told her it was because I'm not a social person. "Oh, but EVERYONE is social. What are you going to do when you get a job?" I told her, "Then I will socialize. But I'm not going to parties, etc. because it's just not me." "But EVERYONE needs friends." I told her I had a very good one, but he died. "Oh, well then go find another one." (IT wasn't said as offensively as I just wrote it btw)

The bottom line is this: I am NOT "Everyone." I don't like to socialize and prefer to be alone. This is for threefold reasons:

A) All of my friendships seem to end with my "friends" getting really pissed at me and not wanting to talk to me any more
B) All of my relationships have gone down in flames. In one, she cheated on me. In the other, she just became way too picky and annoying. I tried to stay with her, but she broke up with me, calling me "immature" and "my friends think you're weird."
C) I, so far, have NOT been able to relate to ANYONE my age. They think about girls and talk about sex all the time and going to parties. At college, I was the one who never went out except to grab a bite to eat and decided to stay home and study. I didn't drink my mind out, nor did I particularly want to have sex (Even though I did...long story for another time :-p). I prefer to live in solitude There's no one making me drop my evening routine and come running to answer the phone. I can turn my AIM off and only use it when I want to. At college, the only "socializing" I did was the (mandatory) socializing with the roomy and the professors--who I found I could relate more to than my roomy of 2 years, by the way. I like being online better. All of us can rant and rave, and for the most part, we all have difficulty socializing--except for when we're online

I further went into the Asperger's-ness involved: The poor eye contact, the routines, the social awkwardness, etc. and she still did not seem to get it.

I do not like to be compared to "EVERYONE" and being told that I "need" to do this that or the other thing. Yes, you're social. Good for you. But for me, socializing is a pain in the neck -p and I prefer to do it sparingly.

My question is this: IF this were to happen again (it got me all bent out of shape at night because that's when my mind is most active--and I took it out on my brother *sigh*), what's the best way to deflect something like this.

I hate socializing, unless I am wearing a wig and putting on a different personality.

I still haven't figured that out. Why don't you just grow a pair of wings and fly out of there?
But seriously, one little thing you can do is refuse to take it out on the brother. S*** rolls downhill. Passing it on is what they want you to do. That's what normal people do.

Typical scenerio. If you let them give you advice and politely listen, they feel as though they can go on and on, and eventually get mad at you for not following their advice. If you explain why a suggestion doesn't work, they get mad. If you don't want to hear it they get mad. You can't win. Basically because such a person has already put you in a degraded category.

Hmmm... I just thought of something and I wonder what would happen if I tried it --
Patiently explain that this type of conversation stresses me out and I always end up going home and taking it out on the dog...

Maybe the answer is in there somewhere.

I don't see how it is possible to explain to a social person that you are not a social person because they just don't get it. I just avoid mentioning that about myself like the plague, they just don't understand.

If it was me and she asked why I didn't go with them I would just say "because I don't feel like it." It might come off as slightly rude or standoffish, but only slightly, and it should kill the conversation.

Don't you hate when you tell an sociable person that and they say "Well, just be more social"? Like it's that easy.

"Oh, okay sure! Just let me run home and change DNA right quick."

If I knew, I'd tell you. At least you're not complying to their wishes - only a month ago if someone told me to "get out and be social" I'd go and do it even though I didn't want to. Just because they said so.

They committed what is called a Fallacy of Hasty Generalization.

It can be annoying when people say "everybody" does a certain thing. Technically it contradicts the phrase "everyone is different", because if everybody did the same thing, then they wouldn't be different.

please stop using zzz!! rant over :/
generalisation* socialise* etc sorry

anyways (yes anyways) nobody is normal, if someone tells you otherwise, simply explain that they are mistaken.
Maybe suggest they choose their words more carefully..
Or.. say "Everybody knows autism is complicated except you" but this will probably not endear you to them.

We could try to tell the next social person we meet who whines about having to spend an afternoon / night etc. alone, that "they should just enjoy their own company / be happy to be free from needing to do that exhausting socialization". That would be kind of the same thing, just opposite.

Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do. I want to have loads of money, but I don't want to to work to get it. If I don't work, I'm not going to get it. Ergo, I have to work.