Why

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Why do I even bother?

elaborate...

Because there is nothing better to do than try the best you can. Good luck.

Why do I do anything, Why do I bother getting out of bed in the morning. Why do I even bother continuing to live?

Because one day, a horrific plague will kill all the NTs? Thats what keeps me going

Because there is nothing better to do than try the best you can. Good luck.


I'm not trying to be a jackass. Think about it. It sounds like you are pretty depressed. Just think about it.

Not so much depressed as just immensely lonely and lacking in any will to do anything anymore. And everything just keeps rolling downhill and i can't stop it or even slow it down.

This time, I'll make a serious response;
There's one thing that keeps me going. Every day, the only reason I bother living is to prove to whatever bastard god created me that no matter how much they pick on me, I won't quit. I exist to defy my own existance, if you will. I know it makes you feel like a walking paradox, but hey... it's what works for me.

Funaho

It may look bad now, do You have any actives that could help You not be so lonely in the end.

I try to keep myself busy doing side jobs but lately they've been scarce so I've had lots of free time. All my friends are pretty much now engaged and living with their gfs so there's nobody to do anything with anymore.

Well since I've been told to stop whining I'm going to close the thread now. Think I'll just go find a gun or a tall bridge instead.

I hope you decide to stick around, Funaho.

It sounds like life is very tough for you right right. Sometimes just getting though is all one can hope for.

If you wait it out, the future can unfold and who knows what that will be like. Might be worth sticking around for.

i second what BeeBee said, Funaho. i have times exactly as you describe, and they happen on a regular and frequent basis. i honestly can't tell you what it is which makes me keep going, but i do.

hang on in there, hon - talk to us here, so we can at least try and show you there are people around who'll listen, and who can push the loneliness away, for a while.

hugs.

Vivi

Yes, we will all die voodoo-style deaths one of these days from fear of bird flu.

I don't know if Funaho is one of those people like an online friend of mine who would rather be validated and symathized with than told how to or encouraged to get out of depression. But if he's not...if there's any reason to live it's "to see what happens next." Your moods and situations can always change, and even if the things you dream about are unattainable, you might encounter surprises you haven't dreamt about. If that's not good enough...maybe it will be when your mood improves. I also choose to live because I'm too afraid to die, but that's just me.

Many philosophers ask the same question, myself included.

The answer is the meaning of life.

Hedonistic- to achieve greater pleasure by living, even in the darkest of circumstances there is always a way out to achieve even more pleasure. Use hedonistic calculas to make every action a worthwhile one.

Egoist- It benefits yourself to continue on. You have everything at your grasp, if you have a will to do it. Go forth and achieve your "destiny."

Machievellian- The end result is what justifies the action. Simply giving up and not trying is not desired as the result is not what you will wish.

Kantian- It is your duty to remain on this world and do the tasks required to stay with this society. Multiply an action a million times to determine the "maxim" with which to live your life.
If it is a just action than that means that everyone in the society will benefit. It is your duty to benefit other people.

My thoughts- By giving up you are not helping others around you. If you stay on course and do what others ask, they will like you for it. Even if you may not care at all what others think; by making someone else smile, you will feel good.
If something drastic happens to you people will feal bad for you.

I find this world has so much to offer by way of learning and knowledge.
I keep going to keep learning.

Well I am making a little progress now. I can't get myself to make phone calls so my friend got his therapist to call me and now I have an appointment with her at noon tomorrow. We will see how it goes. Of course now I'm anxious about THAT and probably won't sleep worth a damn tonight. I'm tempted to go drive out her office tonight just to see where I'm going tomorrow and plan the route, but I don't feel like going out again tonight, and since im going from work I"d have to take the longer route of going to work and then to her office.

I still have no idea what to expect. I'm not sure what I should and should not tell her. Should I tell her I get stoned at night to manage my anxiety? Should I mention that I have self-diagnosed myself as a possible aspie? And if this goes any further, it's going to get tough for me. If I need to get referred to a psychiatrist for meds, I'm going to go through hell because although I'm 32 I haven't actually been to a GP in like 25 years so I don't really even have a medical history, which means I'd need to get all kinds of crap done first that is just more phone calls and more new situations to cope with.

The really crappy part is that my financial problems, which are a good chunk of my anxiety lately, are going to be worsened considerably by this. She doesn't take insurance...she'll give me monthly itemized invoices that I can file with my PPOM but I'm terrible about following through with things like that, especially if it requires using the phone or in some other way dealing with a live person. Hopefully I can do it on their web site. I could find another therapist but my friend really speaks highly of her, and I don't think I could even convince myself to go through this whole process again right now.

It's just all so overwhelming, even BEFORE i set up the appointment. This is one of those times i desperatley hate being alone because I could really use a real hug to calm me down.