Gay Bashers

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I was a victim of gay bashers pretty bad in high school (almost every day my junior year). When I was a senior I got saved and became a Christian in the exgay movement. I recently got diagnosed and have completely changed my view of myself.

I am still full of this self-hate over being "a stupid butt-pirate fa***t." This goes on in my head all day long, if I notice an attractive guy I am filled with guilt. I have never talked about this, even therapists are freaked out by it, I HATE BEING A FAG, I hate it, hate it, hate it.

The exgay movement lets you intellectualize your self-hate and really does a "mind job" on you. "If you want it bad enough you can be straight", "masturbation is a sin", guilt, guilt, guilt.

But Exgays are the only people I trust, i am afraid of everyone else, gay and straight.

Wow...that's an unusual situation for you to be in...being a self-hating gay. Before you became a born-again Christian were you really gay? Maybe you were just bicurious and got too much sh*t for it.

Either way you should ask yourself: Do you really want this guilt that the Christian group is putting on you (about your sexual orientation) to consume you? I've learned the hard way that I can't let anyone (not even a religion) devour me with guilt or I will never get out of that hole of misery.

If a group of people are making you feel worse about youself instead of better, it's not worth sticking around. Not everyone gets the happiness or fulfillment they seek from being born again into Christianity. I already went around that block and found that one out for myself.

It took me years to accept I'm gay. I live in the south and in a very Christian area, so middle and high school were pretty rough.

I think you'd benefit from looking at the "success" rates of ex-gay organizations... they're pretty low. You just can't change someone's sexual orientation. And it's really not worth the mental anguish it causes someone to try to do so.

If you're gay, you're gay. It would be more productive for you to focus on why it upsets you and how you can work through that rather than trying to change something so hard-wired as sexuality.

I am very against the idea of the ex-gay stuff. I'm catholic and have an intense fear of fundamentalist christians. In my view, they are very judgemental and hateful. I use to listen to Christian radio, but not anymore.

im half gay. people that bash gays are insecure i think. besides, what good would come out of bashing someone? like how is there sexuality effecting your life on any level?

Being gay isn't a choice so it can't be wrong. Just accept the way you are.

I am extremely against the ex-gay movement as it actually is doing what you are experiencing: creating a false sense of trust while at the same time encouraging depression and anxiety through guilt.

I am queer...pansexual/queer and kinky. The only way one can be themselves is to be honest and open. You feel insecure now because you have not built up trust in other people, you have not really ever been free in a positive sense with your sexuality, and that is DAMAGING.

This is not easy, but if you can try to find a way to make it to a big city...find help. Being queer is kind of like being a part of a family of outcasts. Also never call yourself a fag in a negative sense. You are a wonderful person, and you do not deserve to hate yourself so much or repress honest and legitimate feelings.

There is an entire community out there that supports you for WHO YOU ARE. Not based on some screwed up version of morality. But who you truly are. It is not immoral to be gay, or wrong, the immorality comes from those who make you ashamed for who you are and pick on you. If you want help...I can help some, I have helped plenty of queer kids before in similar circumstances. Even if it is to help become more accepting of yourself.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt98669.html u all should join up with me - lot's of hot sexy gay guys in nomas

Even through the ex-gay movement, you're still gay - which goes to show that no matter what, you can't change that about yourself.

I hate certain things about myself too. Some are things I can work on, some I cannot. Sexual orientation is not changeable - working to change it is a lost cause.

I certainly hope in time you come to accept this about yourself. There are plenty of people out there who will accept it too, and give you support. It's a shame that this hatred has been instilled in you.

The people who bullied you in school for being gay (the ringleaders) were more the likely gay themselves, dealing with the same self-loathing you seem to have. I'm not going to claim you can't change and i can't tell you what the best solution is. You can only answer that yourself, but you don't appear to be happy at the moment, so that would suggest you're doing something wrong.

Sounds as though you need to be saved again

You have so many unnecessary ideas in the states. Just skip that ex-gay thing and be yourself.

Take a vacation in Berlin, Stockholm or Amsterdam where no one cares if you're gay or straight.

what the hell :/

you should move to spain, theyre the first country in the world to legalize gay weddings. you can assume theyre very liberal towards homosexuality. gran canaria is also one of the transsexual capitals of the world

pff, come to europe in general. we find gays to be exciting and fun,

well

as long as you dont grab MY ass! >:0
i dont think you can escape that comment, wherever in the world you go :]

my point is.. go to somewhere your surroundings dont go out of its way to banish you. if your gay your gay, forcing yourself not to be gay would be like a heterosexual forcing onself to be gay (which is a disturbing thought indeed... )
you are what you are, and you should be able to be open and true about it.

Netherlands and Belgium were both way before Spain. In Spain it just happened a few years ago while they had it in Benelux for a decade or so.
Also, in Spain the gay culture is still very macho and stereotyped with the passive part viewed as "b*****s" or lesser men. I would definitely go to Benelux or Germany because they don't stereotype gays.
Spain is a good place if you just want casual sex with "straight" guys (yeah right straight, but anyway) and you're willing to be a passive b***h and accept it's a one night stand and nothing more.

Also, the older generation in Spain is still very ignorant and homophobic, unlike the older generation in the Netherlands or Sweden which is a lot more tolerant even if they don't quite understand homosexuality. At least there are no religious aspect or any remnants of fascist society in northern and western Europe.

nothing wrong with being gay,
you should stay away from that ex gay movement.
being gay is not a choice.

I have no problem what so ever with gays but according to the British Associaltion for Adoption and Fostering i am a "wi"tarded homophobe.