Who here feels like there in the wrong family?

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Well the title says a lot, I don't feel loved anymore, I just tick them off all the time, and im just feeling bad. they have no patience for me, Ive been having a really sh***y last 4 yrs, and now my leg is injurded not externally but internally I can barely make down the hall let alone the stairs, they said it's just going to take time, but they don't feel the pain and this much pain is going to need a doctors visit and maybe a cast I screwed it up running and it's enflamed and hurting badly, but back to the topic, hell everyone here feels closer to me than my parents, mainly Learning2survive and Tahiti why is it that I feel this way, I'm 15 just incase someone wanted to know.

You sound a bit like me. The only difference is, looking back I believe my mother and older brother have AS. As a family we never really got along, none of us. There was always tension and it was crazy. I always felt I did not belong in that house, in that cruddy neighborhood, or with that family.

I feel your pain, and 15 is a rough time in a person's life.

Yeah that's sounds exactly same over here, and yeah my supposed last 4 goods years are really no kidding turning like a trip through hell, I feel like a person surround in a pool drowning throwing my hands up for someone to grab.

Too make things worse I was told to clean something up before my mom left, but I can't because my leg is hurting, and so I know I'm going to be yelled at, I wish I knew what to do, honest I'm a little scared I want to be away from my house but I keep having memories of the institution I was put in for the wrong reason, so I feel sad, lost and just wanting for someone to love me and I'm in a military family and I'm a guy, so feelings are not allowed with my father I don't know what to do, please someone reply with an anwser!

When I confronted my mother about treating me differently to my brother, she said she can't help it because I stay in my room and don't talk to the rest of the family. So I even have to earn the love of my family.

they say they still love me, and do slot for me so I feel bad about feeling this way, but I don't know what to do?

I used to think if I pointed out the blatantly different treatment I got from my older sister and siblings, i.e. they were allowed more choice in their activities, and I was often forced against my will to do what they did, they saw nothing wrong with it. They would make excuses like "you're different" and "you're whatever," or "if we didn't force you you wouldn't do anything."

I just wanted to be allowed to be me or perhaps to be given some encouragement to develop my interests and talents, not have what everyone else did crammed down my throat.

Of course, NTs never seem to have problems with applying double standards it seems.

I've always felt like the odd 1 out in my family, because I'm the only one with Asperger's and the rest are all NT. They are all much more confident and outgoing than I am and I've always felt that none of them really understand the way I may react differently to them over certain things, and I don't think any of them understand my disability enough. I sorta hate keeping a lot of things away from my family but I don't feel like that I have much of a choice.

I'm 51 and my teens are a long way away, but they definitely sucked... even before my teens I didn't feel a part of my family, wondered why they just didn't give me away to someone who wanted me; they clearly didn't. I was estranged from my family all my life.

I think what saved me was working with animals... I was absolutely horse crazy and my mother was able to support my interest... more because otherwise I was the most sullen evil little turd the world has ever known when I had to leave my horse back on the ranch when we moved to town than she actually believed in my skills (polite girls don't DO horses... muck stalls, groom, sweat, etc... they merely pose on them).

Can you have any sort of animal? Their acceptance of me just as I was made a huge difference in my world.

Now, looking back after having done some reading and research I can see that every person in my family was somewhere on the spectrum; my mother probably being more Aspie than I and I think my sister is Border Personality Disorder on top of having autistic traits (so glad I'm not her!). The info wasn't available then, it is now. Please take advantage of it and take very good care of yourself. Get the leg looked at and take care of it, too.

And know, we're here, you're not alone...
DB

I certainly feel like I am in the wrong family. My Mom shows a lot of stubbornness, especially when it comes to changing her way of thinking. My father, well, he is never happy with me, no matter what I do. I actually fantasized about leaving home when I was really young , about 5 years of age. It's as if I could feel I was surrounded by people who would prove no benefit to me, and I was right.

The truth be told I never had anyone to guide me. My mom was always busy tending to more important things, and my father only enhanced my feelings of low self worth.

Well they are able to support my intrests too and I'm thinking of volunteering at the zoo

I too know what it's like living with the wrong family. I was adopted by an older couple who not only hated me (practically from the moment they got me home), but taught me to eventually loathe myself as well. I have depised myself for many years, been a self-harmer, etc. They were constantly criticizing everything I did. I always heard that I never did anything right, was mean, hateful, selfish, & the list goes on. Mom came at me with a knife poised over her head when I was 13 or 14. I am also far removed from those years & am now 47. My memories of the past are every bit as painful today as they were then. There was no support, no love, no nothing...it was like living under a roof with strangers....I was very much an intruder in their lives. I think my adoptive dad has AS...he has never been good with eye contact, & can't really hold a normal conversation unless he can talk about one of his special interests. I also have my own AS issues...neither of us has been formally diagnosed but to me it's pretty obvious.

Soooo how do I cope? I stay as far away from my parents as I can. I talk to my dad from time to time. My mom is in a nursing home now. They are in their 80's, & their health is failing, but they can still manage to cut me to the bone with their hurtful comments. <sigh> Some people are able to change their ways, learn, & adapt, others are stuck in a rut. Which way you & your parents go is up to you!

Where does all this lead? Well, since you can't choose your relatives, it's best to find some good people who will care about you & give you the things you are lacking from your parents. Although, if you are able to get some emotional support, maybe your life with your parents won't always be so bad. I wish you the best!


Tomboy

Getting the hell out was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was poor for a number of years and had to discipline myself to work hard. Life got better as I aged. It is true: I too was a good seed put into bad soil. I started to "thrive' as opposed to just living when I went on my own...but it can be lonely at times...and scary. Christianity helped. NOT the church just the plain old teachings of Christ...not to mention flea markets, Salvation Army, and good sales at stores. YOU MUST BUDGET.

I know your pain. Would you believe that my mother, after all these years, blamed me for her breast cancer. (I'll be 49). I stopped calling her after realizing that my father was on the other line masterbating. He was and is a incestuous pedophile as well as a sex addict. My mother doesn't want to hear it, as she didn't want to hear it 40 years ago. When I told her at the age of 15 that my father was "bothering" me, she picked up knife and told me that she'll stab me right in the tongue with it and that I had a dirty mouth. I was glad that he had affairs because he'd leave me alone. When I finally got therapy, the therapist couldn't believe that I lived there as long as I did. My father is SSSSIIICCCCKKKK. But I hate my mother more. She made more money than he did. She was fairly attractive. BUT she still condemned me to live in that MF'N house with that pervert. She wouldn't leave him and had no protective maternal skills whatsover. I was supposed to pretend nothing was wrong with him even though the whole neighborhood was talking about him. She wouldn't even "at least" kill me. Nope! that meant time in prison for her! I thought of suicide but didn't honestly feel I deserved that because of them. She did everything to direct the attention away from him and put the blame on me for what he is. I was attacked by a young teen when I was 7 years old. Instead of geting the law involved and getting me some therapy, my father used that incident for more of his mastabatory fantasy. What kind of depraved human being would get aroused over the violent rape of his own daughter? What kind of mother would turn a blind eye to it? I'll tell you. The kind of parents who are forgotten and left for dead in their frail, old age by their children. The kids may look bad in the public eye but enough is enough. Those "aged monsters" deserve what they get. The "abused rich" just put their own aging monsters in posh retirement centers.

Hi RightGalaxy,

I don't know how you put up with the abuse you did! I am sorry that it happened. It's even more sick that he is still aroused by you all these years later. I find that to be shocking & gross! What kind of a "man" finds a child to be sexually attractive, especially his own? I was also sexually abused as a child between 9 & 12. The "man" I remember used me for 3 years, often right under my parents' noses. He was their friend...he & his wife. He even asked my dad for permission to take me off alone in an orange grove, & my dad granted it. Once I was alone with him, he French-kissed me, & had his hands all over me. Worse, he made me touch him. I was the one who finally stood up to his advances & stopped it. Though I can tell my parents what went on, they have never believed me. Even when the perpetrator went on to murder another human being in cold blood. I find it hard to believe my parents can stand up for such a vile creature as my molester was!

I just found out earlier this year that I have only one ovary & half a uterus. But neither of my parents will tell me the truth about what happened. I have some suspicions, but nothing solid, since I was only about a year when they were removed from my body. I'm not sure I'll ever get a straight answer. My mother once said I wasn't well enough to have a child....I know now she must have known, but deliberately lied about the surgery, telling me that I was intact since my earliest memories. She must have got some sick pleasure from all those years of lying to me. I would never lie to anyone about something that important. The other thing is mom always considered herself to be perfect at everything she did, & maybe that's part of her hatred for me is that I was the complete opposite of her in every way...imperfect. I think the older I got the more obvious my imperfections became due to AS, the more intensely she hated even being in the same house. She went back to work full time when I was 3, because she couldn't stand being around me. When I was 14, she admitted that adopting me had been a huge mistake. I was often yelled at, & beaten just because I was "there," neither of my parents needed a better reason.

I often wish I could go back in time & change my destiny. I honestly don't think of myself as a "good seed." I just can't get past always being called a horrible monster. It wasn't just my parents who had an intense hatred of me, it was everyone else around me as well...friends of my parents, their families, acquaintances, teachers, school administrators, & my peers. I've made a huge mess of my life & wish I could go back & fix things.

Yes, I feel exactly the same. You're still young though (I'm 19) haha, don't give up on your family just yet.