Rant on subject of school system!!

Post Reply New Topic

I am so pissed off at the school system and the world in general. I am physically forced to attend school every single day, even though it's horrible and I hate it and I wish I could nuke it to the ground. I don't even fight against it anymore, there's no point, so I just have to go and be abused by every chavvy bastard in the place. When I mentioned to the head of Year 9 that I hate it here and everything, I got lectured about how much worse things could be, and that this is a good school (is it hell), and it was like I was in trouble for being upset! They're emotional fascists, I'm telling you! I wanted to say, "Dude, you got your wish didn't you, I'm HERE in this hellhole, but now it's a legal requirement to ENJOY it too?! You on crack?!" but I didn't obviously.

And my ways of coping with it aren't good enough for the teachers either. All I wanna do is sit in the library at breaktimes to escape from the chavs, and the teacher says that that's unhealthy cos I'm "isolated"! My friends are in the library with me, for God's sakes! But NO, allegedly the only socialisation that counts is the sort that makes me want to jump off the Valley Bridge. And when I complain about bullies, THAT'S LIFE???! !! I don't see it happening to everyone else! If everyone had the same problems as me, they wouldn't be actively seeking socialisation, would they? Logic, people!

And the social workers are being patronising bastards. Apparently I've done SO WELL to come to school every day...it's no acheivement when you have no damn choice! Congratulating me on it is frankly insulting - like giving a slave an Employee Of The Month award.

The bullying seems to be getting worse and worse. The main things are:
- a girl who pushes me in the corridor and pretends it was an accident. (As if the crowds ain't bad enough already!)
- another girl who shouts insults at me whenever she sees me. (I just shout insults back, but insults don't work on popular people because they don't care what people like me say about them cos nobody listens to me.)
- people sneezing at me on purpose since they found out about my (un-dx'd) OCD. I don't want their disgusting germs, thanks, especially not with the swine flu going round.
- people in general making comments about me behind my back (but loud enough so I can hear them).

In a nutshell, I hate school, school should die, thank you and goodnight.

Gina,

I hated my time at school, I found it very disagreeable. My advice is to stop and think what do you want in life, and if there is anything you can get from your time at school which is a steeping stone to what you want.

I wanted to go to university, I discovered at the age of 11 that I would need three A levels so I made it my goal at school to get the three A levels to give me a ticket out of the hell that school was. Seven years later I zoomed off and I have had nothing to do with the chavs (they were not called chavs when I was a teenager) who were in my classes.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

School was hell for me too - at least until college.

I sometimes wonder if people in high school are just really scared of sex (not you, but the mean people). The sudden change in students' outlook on life could cause them a great fear of the unknown, which manifests as aggression.

In the old days you learned "reading, writing and 'rithmatic" until you were about 14, and then you were an adult.

Now you are a "child" until you finish high school at 18 or so or have gone to "college" until you are in your early to mid twenties.

So now we are dependent "children" well past the age when our grandparents were adults with families of their own.

Those people are pathetic, disgusting pieces of s**t. They should not get away with what they are doing. It just isn't fair. They don't get in trouble for treating you like s**t... you get in trouble for letting it get to you. "Oh, but they're just teaching you what life is like!" BS. If it weren't for them, life wouldn't be like that in the first place.

I was talking to my friend about this very subject. Sorry for the huge post, but here is the main part of our converstaion:

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
Its the same as always. School reminds me a lot like a group of apes. Everyone is trying to establish dominance by tearing down the one that looks, acts, and believes different. Then the one they are trying to tear down is secretly wanting to kill all of them, but knows that killing is wrong so he sits in his room stressed and depressed because he knows he cant win until he can graduate and finally get away from the as*holes...then college will come around and because of his karma it will happen all over again, but this time he learned from his past mistakes. Fix something before it gets bad. He knows to reinvent himself to appear as someone not to be messed with but still easily approachable and fun to get to know.
------------------------------------
EJ's Message:
I understand ur strong dislike for disrespect, but if u look around, everybody gets it. Pay attention to some people. Most people just retaliate or take it as a normal part of their day. I usually retaliate, or turn it around and laugh as it blows up in their face. But im just hoping u can get used to it cause everywhere in life, ur gonna get disrespect. Thats just human nature. It sucks, but it happens. Its kinda like a girls period. It sucks, but there aint nothing nobody can do about it except make some good outta it.
------------------------------------
Response:
Its a different kind of disrespect. The kind that would traumatize and cause anxieties to someone who has delt with it for years of his life. And its not like I see it being done to other people. Its just me. Yeah, friends will joke around with each other, but this is way different. Im singled out and my treatment is magnified 10x. Its psychological abuse. Now, I would never go into school with all these guns and start blasting people, because that would be against what I believe in. However, I understand exactly why those situations happend. It has caused me to have this immense desire to severely punish each and every person that has the attitude that the people who mistreated me have. If I were an absolute ruler, I would be kind and virtueous to those who deserve it, but id rule with an iron fist over those who I deemed "unfit" for proper society. It has also caused me to develop a sense of superiority over these people. I feel superior to them, not only because I have the morals to not do this to someone, but also because I am aware of more than they are. I almost always smile whenever im ticked off, and I keep telling my mom "thats just a defense mechanism to keep me from beating the crap out of someone". Its also so I dont appear to lose face in front of anyone else paying attention to my harassment. Judging from how people have treated me over the years, ill never hear the end of it if I do flip out on someone, and that will cause the harassment to become even worse. Ive done it for so long that I literally cant help myself from doing it no matter how much I want to scream in their face (no exageration), "shut the f**k up and leave me alone, or I swear to God, ill have your face burried into the floor!" "Zero tolerance" that this school supposedly has is absolute bullcrap. If they were sincere in that, there would be video cameras with audio recording in every classroom. But oh wait, thats an invasion of privacy. -_- These kids have no idea of what kind of psychological damage prolonged harassment can cause someone. Im more messed up than a lot of people know. And im sincerely and eternally grateful I have a few good friends that listen to my problems and try to help me, or id probably be in a mental hospital on the count of me going insane. Some people are absolute garbage. I dont like saying that about anyone, but thats how I feel sometimes. So yeah...this isnt typical dealing with everyday people. This is what I go through every day and why I just dont care if im going to be late for school, therefore I continue to sleep. If this is prepairing me for everyday life, then thank God I dont have clinical depression or I would have killed myself years ago knowing adult life would be worse. If these jackholes would learn their place, can you possibly imagine how much better life would be? Most people dont, because they dont suffer the same type of bullying people like me go through. Something isnt right with this system. So much so, that it baffels me how people who supposedly have more intelligence than I do are completely unaware of what is happening. If they are aware, it seriously seems as though they have little care that it is happening. This is a global problem and its critical we fix it. We need a stricter government and entirely new political system because the monkies I am around have demonstrated that the majority of human beings cant handle freedom. ...plus its freezing year-round, the chairs are rock hard, lights are bright, and pencil/eraser dust is everywhere. That doesnt make it any better.

*Amused*

Do your own thing at school that lets you cope and isn't destructive.

Me? I flaunted most rules and broke into class-rooms without damaging locks.

Teachers just didn't bother.

School is both a blessing and a curse for aspies. A blessing because of the structure but a curse because they can't teach us properly and refuse to adjust.

Just cope until you graduate. It's only 12 years of your life until you get to uni or work.

That's one tenth of a good life-span. That leaves 9 tenths for doing what you want to a degree.

Well, 13 for me since I was held back in 1st grade. Less than 7 school days left, though. I dont know whether to be happy or sad. Its like im attached to my school, despite how bad it is.

It's expected. School gives you routine, gives you focus. After you leave school you'll flounder for a while.

One bit of advice I can give is that over time, I have realized that the people who once intimidated me as a child don't seem to be as smart as they think they are. 'Bottom lines' become unsupported claims. Guilt-inspiring accusations become fallacies of reasoning. I felt that as I grew older, I watched these formerly dominating people become stupid.

One major advance in this direction (of realizing how stupid people can be) was when I admitted that the diagnostic criteria for Asperger's Syndrome were all opinionated. There is no test to determine whether or not you really have it. It's just someone's opinion of you -- in our case, a therapist's, and the therapist might try to convince you that you need therapy for the same reason that companies try to advertise that you need their product. You can reject the diagnosis if you want; you don't even have to say you have it. If you do that and then hear the term 'clinical judgment,' I'd laugh at 'em. It's just their opinion.

(Of course, their stupidity is a matter of my opinion.)

So basically I could be diagnosed with AS by one psychologist and diagnosed NT by another? Thats interesting. If I dont have AS I defenatly have something, because im no where near the same as all the "normal" people. It seems like AS is pretty new in terms of psychological disorders/conditions. We are learning about all that stuff is Psychology class. I had to sit through all this neurology, conditioning, and perception stuff to finally get to something interesting and we barely have enough time left to talk about it.

Oh Ive realized these people are stupid years ago. They are stupid and immature, civil disrupting weeds to a better society's garden. They look at us and think we have growing up to do because we dont like being in the same social situations they do, meanwhile they are treating people with disrespect and extreme rudeness for the sake of their own amusement. Someone please explain to me what is so funny about knocking someone's books off their desk, pulling their ponytail, punching them in the arm, calling them names, or whathaveyou. Yeah, this crap still goes on in high school. High schoolers are far from adults no matter how much they try to pretend they are.

Isn't there any other school you could go to?

I felt the exact same way about school - I couldn't stand the people I went to school with, I still have no friends from going to school. I just got lucky and went to a school without bullies, popularity and all that crap. My classroom consisted of 10 people and we all just mostly minded our own business and respected one another.

Aren't there any special programs in your area? Smaller class sizes? Anything like that at all? It sure changed my teenage life going to school.

The only problem was they didn't really teach you anything, they all acted as if autism = ret*d

[quote="Gifted-Monster"]*Amused*

Do your own thing at school that lets you cope and isn't destructive.

Me? I flaunted most rules and broke into class-rooms without damaging locks.

Teachers just didn't bother.
[quote]

Yeah, I still go into the library before school and at breaktimes, even if it means having to lie about having homework to do or whatever. And worst case scenario, I run into that evil teacher that said all that stuff, and then I get a massive lecture about how I need to fit into society, and if I'm being lectured all I have to do is stand and wait for him to shut up and leave me alone, so I can't be outside getting bullied during that time.