Oh dear here we go again

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So I haven't really opened up too much on here. I am what you would call a lurker with occasional postings but the time has come for me to divulge a little.

I am married and have been for the last two and a half years.
I am originally from Ireland and have been in Canada for nearly three years.
So the boring background stuff is out of the way!

On to the not so juicy stuff.

My partner yesterday got a message from an old friend asking for us to go to a big birthday bash. Uh oh. I hate big, I hate birthdays and I hate bashes. We had already had a discussion in which I thought we agreed to meet on neutral territory. Fair enough you'd think.
Well this evening she wants to make the phone call and asks me one last time if i wanted to go. I told her that I still stand firm on my original suggestion/agreement. Apparently I was the only one listening on the day we made that agreement as the s**t hit the fan.

It all comes out about how I am this, that and the other. So I said that if you are that unhappy then perhaps I should leave. No answer. So it looks like the three year itch is back again for the other person.

So do they let it build for three years and wait till you are comfortable and then let loose with the truth?
If so then why don't they have the balls to ay something sooner.

To be honest I am scared right now as I have nowhere to go and no one waiting for me at the other end.

Do I just up and leave and see where it takes me?

I usually have much more sense about me but ths time it feels like it's the real deal and I am frightened.

All this crap came out that has bothered me too but I don't do feelings so they just kind of fester.

I am sorry if this comes across as disjointed but I am just posting this to get it out of my system somewhat.
I want to run away as far as I can.

Any words of sanity?

Later Later

I wouldn't make a point by leaving. Let things cool down and then discuss things again. Anyway that it turns out you have a right not to be cast out. If a relationship ends you have a right to prepare your next step. Saying that, I don't think that's a foregone conclusion. Maybe your partner was just too angry to make a concession at the moment. After three years people don't make that kind of decision in the heat of an argument unless you talk about it later when you're both calmer and they decide after a lot of thought that they've come to the same conclusion. My mother adapted to my father's intense dislike of socializing but that was a different generation. Maybe you could come up with some kind of workable compromise.

It seems the most reasonable solution is for her to go and you not to go, and not to end a relationship over one disagreement. Is it fair to say that two people in a relationship shouldn't have to do the same things together 24/7?