You sure wonder what the point is..

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in trying to accomplish anything.

I recently finished making a political documentary and thought it would have an impact if I just made it good enough. Now it seems it won't be the hit I had hoped for, and I mostly just face criticism when advertising it. I'm living outside my society, Sweden, seemingly with no way in. I feel the government very much removed me from mainstream society with their intervention into my life 12 years ago.

I thought spending several hundred hours on a project of my own perhaps would change this, but now I'm starting to have my doubts.. Maybe I should just live on disability and spend my days playing online games and daydreaming, perhaps that's all one can get out of life. Life has been so different from what I expected it to be in my late teens. I really don't like it. I'm always trying to figure out how I can get the life I want, yet I can't seem to get the world to work with me.. And it's very hard to get sympathy for what the government has done to me.

I wonder if I'm coming across as too "emo".. Yet I just wish I could find some way of realizing my potential.. The USA would be a whole lot better for me, but moving there without any savings might be risky.

Maybe I should write a poem, maybe with a title like: "The lamentation of the Aspergian getting his/her wings cut off."

Sometimes I think my adult life has been nothing but life crises where I wonder what I can do about my situation, with brief pauses.

Ah well, something must eventually work out I guess, as long as I can get the energy back after every rejection.

well, death-commando, i'm not sure what your documentary was about, specifically, but if you wanted it to have a real impact i assume it exposed something that most people have overlooked. that seems to be the way of the world though. if they overlooked it already, they're likely to just discount it again. they show documentaries about MKULTRA (one of many cia mind control projects) in the u.s. on tv now. still, no one cares.

it's sad but true. people prefer convenient ignorance to difficult truth.

i'm not saying you should give up on your dream. i'm not even saying you should compromise on your documentary. maybe make a few documentaries on subjects that people are interested in, to get yourself some credibility and audience. after you have that base, you can release a more refined (because let's face it, you're not going to stop working on it until it's done) version of your political documentary and get the impact you want.

good luck.

Hmm, making more audience-friendly documentaries and movies was a good idea. The one I made was a rather confrontational documentary about Sweden. I had hoped rightwingers would react to it the same way leftwingers reacted to Michael Moore's movies, but so far it hasn't happened.

put it on youtube.