I can't set my parrot down!

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Okay, no big deal, I just notice that sometimes I get stuck holding my African Grey parrot, because she won't step off my arm, or shoulder, or hand. I mean, she's got some SERIOUS strength -- you'd be surprised! Chloe resists with all her might, and digs in her claws into my arm, or even threatens to bite me, when I try to set her down. It's not always that bad, but often enough.

The thing is, she ALWAYS, ALWAYS wants to be held. 24/7/365. She never wants to just be set down. But the weird pattern that goes with that is, the more I listen to her pleas to pick her up and hold her, the more stubborn she is when I want to put her back on top of her cage (or inside it, if I'm about to go somewhere). So, it's like, I'm making the withdrawal worse on her by holding her more often like she wants. Birds are flock animals, so they instinctively expect to be with their "flock" (or owners) 99-100% of the time. So, she is genuinely confused when I set her down and leave the room. It's almost crisis-mode for her.

Parrots in general, and Greys in particular, are known for trying to dominate you and control your behavior. They're very stubborn creatures -- the Greys even growl at you!

It's like, the entire time she's not on my shoulder, she wonders why not. Even right now, she's whistling and saying "Hello? Hello?" while I'm typing this, in between various mutterings. What strange and exotic creatures. (Where's iamnotaparakeet?)

Would it be too much hassle to get a second parrot to keep Chloe company?

Or a second shoulder?

How about a manikin?

Here I am.

My birds are each a bit different in that respect. Let me introduce you to them:

From oldest to youngest:

Petey:


Petey has currently gone blind and searches for food with her beak and relies on her memory to lead her where she decides to go. She doesn't always like to be held, but after Peppy attacks her she wants to be held and will stay with whoever rescues her for up to an hour before asking to go back to the cage.


Patty:


My family rescued Patty from a group home where she was being neglected emotionally. She loves to hang out with people (especially when you have food, but even when you don't.) She and Pavi will come and sit or my shoulders for hours while I study or am on the computer.

Peppy


Peppy used to be nicer before Petey went blind. Then Peppy would kiss and feed Petey. But now Peppy is angry that Petey ignores him and now even attacks Petey. Before and after Peppy was never a people person and has consistently been a bully to the Cockatiels.

Picasso


Caso is a shy and loving bird. He calls out for Patty whenever they are separated and was generous when it came to feeding Pavi even after she no longer needed to be fed. Caso is timid and seldom but sometimes comes to a human by himself, but if his family are there he often comes although he remains nervous for 10-15 minutes or so.

Pavi


Pavi was born in our house and is the friendliest of all birds I have known. She loves to spend time with people and play with toys. Pavi will sit on my shoulder as I walk around the house and not be afraid. She only has one fault: she gets cranky if she is ignored and demands not to be left out of almost anything.

I use to raise and sell cockatiels...love em, but yeah birds are flock animals, so I could see why you are having such a battle with your Grey.

did you try to put her on your shoulder
I did that with my old birds and they were content

Well, 1) Yes, it would be too much for me, and 2) They tend to tune you out more when they have each other -- which I guess would be a good thing, but it's nice to feel needed too. Especially when you don't live with any humans. But I have thought of getting another one for her, but the main reason I don't (beside the extra $1,000) is that I barely have the patience (and noise tolerance ) to take care of one bird, let alone two chattering birds.

And plus, when I once let her visit with five other parrots, she utterly ignored them all -- like she didn't even notice they were there. She had her back to them the whole time, even though they were chattering away. Of course, none were African Greys, so that's probably a major factor in her lack of socialization. She could just be a racist. Or an Aspie.

Hey, I was serious about a manikin.
I got half of one (the top half) once at a thrift store.

There are others used in the martial arts, etc.

Or maybe a dressmaker's form (or whatever it's called)

Do you think the bird might be happy on a human form, just without being alive?

Well, not really. She would sit there, but she'd be just about as bored as on the regular perches. The reason is she has the inteligence of a five-year-old child -- she does not amuse as easily as most other pets. Greys are very cerebral. They don't do much of what they do by instinct, but rather by analysis, and through trial and error.

I'm totally ignorant of birds and how they are in captivity.

I could never handle the incessant noise whether it was vocalizations, wing flapping, or anything else they do.

I think they are cool in their own right, but I'm finding I may be a better loner than other.


HEY! I just had a thought!

Find yourself an old laptop and teach your bird to control some sort of program by using the trackpad!

Sorta like the mouse/rat manipulating levers for food or lights/sounds.

You could hook the bird up to WP and we could see how much Chloe resembles you!
If she is AS, this could be real interesting.

Foolish human,

how you think Old Long John came to have an eye patch, a peg leg?

Crossed a parrot he did, now it never leaves his shoulder, fair weather or foul.

It shivers me timbers to think of it.

Arge!

Heh, my parents have a few cockateels and an african grey as well. I grew up with these birds, cockateels are 17-16 years old, so thats gettin up their for them. They grey is about 14 years old. I have spent most of my life around them and I have a very good relationship with these birds even tho I have not lived in my parents house in a few years now.

Anyways, African Greys will try to take over, and has not problem relaying his feelings towards anybody around. The Grey sees me about once a week when I visit my parents and join them for dinner. In fact ill be having dinner with them in another 12 hrs, hehehe. But anyways, when he has not seen me he acts weird around me, wont come over to be and from how it seems its as tho he is mad at me for having been gone the last 6 days. After a few minutes the bird wants my attention and so I spent a decent amount of time with him, and of course he follows me around in his cage that night. When its time to leave I say goodbye, and when I do this he growels at me because he knows im leaving him for a bit. Hehehe.

Yes, these birds like their owners and want their attention. Unfortunatly for you Ragtime I think you gotta maby show your bird that sometimes you cannot be with her and hold her, so a little consitency on your part, you have to train her to accept you ignoring or not playing with her and you have to show her that when its time to get down (perhapse with a verbal command consitently).

I'm a parrot owner, too--- conures. I've had mine hang upside-down on me to keep from putting their feet back on their perches. They are like children, and they do test their limits.
Have you tried maybe offering your Grey a piece of its favorite food as you're placing her back? Like a piece of cheese or favorite fruit? This might distract her long enough to cause her to put her feet on the perch, and it may also reinforce a belief that good things can come from going back to her cage. Some types of rewards work well with small children, and since African Greys are smart like small kids they can grasp this concept quite well.
I don't know if it would work, every bird is different. But maybe your Grey thinks of going back to the cage as a punishment ( "oh no, i did something wrong because my human wants to put me back!"), so making it a rewarding and happy time might help. Good luck.
Maybe Woodsman25 is also right, too--- parrots in general need a firm hand at times, and consistency. Because they ARE like small children.

iamnotaparakeet, I like how you gave them all "P" names. Was that intentional? I wish my aunt would let me hold her parrot thing (I don't think she ever takes him out of the cage and he screams all the time. She says he will bite me, but then he is not used to being held. Someone has to get him used to it. He used to live in a basement all the time with no social contact before she rescued him).

TitanDak, one of my cockateils use to bite me something fierce, I had just brought her and she was alittle booger for quite some time, then she got all needy and would yell when I didn't take her out and play with her. Birds are flock animals, then need their flock, so your aunt needs to clip the parrots wings and allow you to work with it,(But get profeesional advice first. My little cockatiel drew blood on me, how big is this parrot?) it wants attention. F.Y.I my cockatiel began to pull her feathers out because I worked 30 hours a week and went to school full time, and she neded more attention, so I got her a finch to keep her company, which worked, but my cats went nuts over the fluttering, knocked over the cage and got to it, so I barrowed my moms parakeet for awhile till I bought her a male cockatiel. I would suggest your aunt get another parrot or a finch or something that wouldn't be all territorial that could live with the parrot if she dosn't want you touching it. The pet store will assist her, but the bird is very lonely, oh finches and cockatiels get along with other species of birds, some birds don't, so you need to see if this parrot is ok with other species, either that or get one thats of the same sex, or your aunt may end up with babies, which isn't good if you don't have an avery area, I learned this the hard way. Some of my baby birds had defects they wouldn't have had if they were in a larger area. I don't know why that is.

Try putting a mirror in her cage. She will think it's another bird and talk to it. I've seen it on TV!