The Champion of Stupid Questions

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"Whats the BIOS password for your computer? " My dad asked me that after I pointed out that its CARVED INTO THE SCREEN.

I've asked in the middle of talking about networking class out of nowhere "how many years is in an eon/aeon?"

Also I've asked a science teacher why a rat who is smaller then a cat has about the same size balls, surprisingly I didn't get an answer.

These are pretty good.

I work in a hospital lab and often draw blood.

I walked into a patient's room in our E.R. one day to get a blood sample from a 26 y.o. female.
As I entered, I gave my name and stated I needed to get some blood from her for the tests the doctor ordered.
Here was her question...

"Are you gonna use a needle?"

Hmmm, let's see.....
Lacking the instrumentation that was available on Star Trek, I suppose I'd need to find some means of bringing the blood from within her body to the outside. Quite the dilemma.
Perhaps I could pop her one in the nose? Naw... too messy and I might injure my hand.
How about a knife? Again, that would be quite messy and then I'd probably be responsible for bandaging her as well... too time consuming.
Ohhh... this is just too hard..... WAIT!.. why OF COURSE!... I could use a needle!



When I told her yes to her question she quickly told me, "I don't want it then... I'm scared of needles!".

My standard reply to a refusal is, "You're the boss! But I do have to let the nurse and doctor know you didn't want the tests drawn and they'll probably come in and try to talk you into it.".

She actually checked out AMA (against medical advice... left on her own before the doc could finish treatment).

One last thing about this woman... she had an eyebrow piercing, a nose piercing, and either a tongue or lip piercing... I can't remember which.

Another one I hear quite frequently is this...

"It's just so fascinating that blood is BLUE until it hits oxygen then turns RED!"

Sorry if I'm embarrassing anyone here but blood is NEVER blue if it is your blood and you have hemoglobin present.

People are usually telling me this while I am drawing their blood.
They state it as if it were a well-known fact and I should be impressed with their AMAZING MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE!

Sometimes I'll explain the part about blood containing hemoglobin always being some shade of red and how the veins beneath their skind appear blue because of light absorbtion... etc...

Other times I'll kid around with them and declare that, "Oh you Highness! We NEVER take royal blood out for these tests... that's why you don't see the blue blood coming out!"

Don't forget that heating a sewing needle with a lighter is the same as using an autoclave so its just as safe as getting a shot at the hospital, its not at all possible to get an infection that way.

"So he just turned 17? He's 16 then, right?"

These are fantastic.

In my minds and machines class, we were talking about the hierarchy of intelligence. When it came to the difference between animals and humans, someone said "Humans use reason. Animals don't."

I asked him how he defined reason. His answer: "A method to behavior."

...then what is hunting?

Also, in a paper we read about computer intelligence, it seemed that the areas in which computers are most limited are also some of the main symptoms of ASDs. I'm a computer! [edited for clarity]

"no, hun, we'll just use a straw"
"no, sug, we'll just beat you until enough drips off"

sigh...

I'm just happy if I get a phlebotomist (is that right? somehow I think of people who tell your future from bumps on your head... doesnt' bruise the @#$% out of me not getting the needle in right..

I can't say; every day I come to work, and someone tops the last one..

Phrenology is the science which studies the relationships between a person's character and the morphology of the skull, which seems to be what you are thinking of. It is from the Greek words for mind and words about or discourse. There is an example of this in the movie Pi.

Phlebotomy, from the online etymology dictionary:
"bloodletting," c.1400, flebotomye, from O.Fr. flebotomie (13c.), from medical L. phlebotomia, from Gk. phlebotomia "blood-letting," from phlebotomos "opening veins," from phleps (gen. phlebos) "vein" + -tomia "cutting of," from tome "a cutting."

This is probably more than you ever wanted to know, but I had fun looking it up

The best part of being a phlebotomist?
I get to tell people that I stab folks, make them bleed, and get away with it every time

I haven't heard that many stupid questions but I know someone who is the supreme champion of stupid statements. One of her most recent ones was (on the subject of Foundation of Advanced Maths, which she takes and it is absurdly easy) "maths is so hard. We were doing aquatic equations today!". I said "sorry, what?!" and she started going on about the 'aquatic formula' until I stopped her and asked if she meant quadratic