Your Favourite Simpsons Quotes

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When Bart is in the Indian casino and is shown his future. The part when he says to Lisa "What happened to you? You used to be cool" and she says "No I didn't"

Also when Homer is singing to the tune of The Flintstones and crashes into the tree.

Hibbert: "Can you tell us what it's like in there?"
Homer: "Uh...it's like...did anyone see the movie Tron?"
Hibbert: "No."
Lisa: "No."
Marge: "No."
Wiggum: "No."
Bart: "No."
Patty: "No."
Wiggum: "No."
Ned: "No."
Selma: "No."
Frink: "No."
Lovejoy: "No."
Wiggum: "Yes. I mean -- um, I mean, no. No, heh."


Lisa: "Uh, Mom? We've got my wedding dress fitting this afternoon. Maggie, if you're not doing anything, why don't you come with us?"
Maggie: "M-"
Marge: "Maggie! Don't talk with your mouth full!"


"Hello. I'm Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."
"Okay, Mr. Burns. What's your first name?"
"...I don't know."

Homer saying to Burns: Here are your messages:
"You have 30 minutes to move your car",
"You have 10 minutes",
"Your car has been impounded",
"Your car has been crushed into a cube",
"You have 30 minutes to move your cube".
[phone ringing]
Homer: [answers] Yello, Mr. Burns' office.
Burns: Is it about my cube?

"Oh, I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage...and island rhythms."

Homer and Marge: *looking through the cemetery* Lisa! Lisa!
Marge: Don't worry, we're not evil spirits!
Homer: Although if we were evil spirits, we'd probably assume the shape of you parents!
Marge: Homer!
Homer: Marge, we owe her the truth.

"Must...kill...Moe...WEE! Must...kill...Moe...WEE!"


"Well, you'll probably want the accessory kit. Holster..."
"Oh, yeah."
"Bandoleer."
"Baby."
"Silencer."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Loudener."
"*Drooling*"
"Speed-cocker."
"Ooh, I like the sound of that."
"And this is for shooting down police helicopters."
"Oh, I don't need anything like that... yet. Just give me my gun!"
"Sorry pal. The law requires a five day waiting period. We've got to do a background check."
"Five days?! But I'm mad now! I'd kill you if I had my gun!"
"Yeah, well, ya don't."


"What is it, boy?"
"Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!"
"Is anything the matter, my son? Talk to me, young man."
*Writes 'Say My Name'*
"Say your name? Why should I do that, my lad?"
"Because I'm jinxed, dammit!" [Homer punches Bart in the arm.]
"Ow! What was that for?!"
"You spoke while you were jinxed, so I get to punch you in the arm! Sorry, it's the law! Heh heh. "


Homer: "Adam West! Hey, kids - Batman!"
Lisa: "Dad, that's not the real Batman."
Adam West: "Of course I'm Batman. See? Here's a picture of me with Robin."
Bart: "Who the hell's Robin?"
Adam West: "Oh, I guess you're only familiar with the new Batman movies. Michelle Pfeiffer...ha! The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Merriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need a molded plastic suit to improve my physique [Taps chest] Pure West. And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore, remember the Bat-tussi? [he starts dancing the Bat-tussi]"

^

And this is for shooting down police helicopters."
"Oh, I don't need anything like that... yet"

Marge: Quick, somebody perform CPR!
Homer: Umm (singing) I see a bad moon rising.
Marge: That's CCR!
Homer (still singing): Looks like we're in for nasty weather.

And of course, who could forget the best 2 characters bartering:

Ralph: I'll give you a milk and 3 crayons for your house.
Cookie Kwan: It's a good deal. I advise you to take it.
Homer: Make it a chocolate milk and you got a deal.
Ralph: I'm walking away.

Homer after being told that the bug he found screaming in his backyard
is an endangered screamerpillar ( ) , it craves constant attention,
and its sexually attracted to fire

"..are you sure God wants it to live?"

Bart: I'm never washing this hand again!

*a week passes*

Lisa: Mom! Tell Bart to wash his hand!

Bart: Sorry, Lisa, I no longer control the hand. The hand controls ME!

Smithers: "I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh, die."

(Bart's listening to the radio in class).
Barlow: "Well, I've had it! I am going to make it my mission to see that our friend Bob is set free."
Bart: "NO!" (class looks at him)
Mrs. Krabapple: "Well, despite Bart's objections, the people of South Africa can now vote in free democratic elections."

Quimby: "And now, I'd like to turn things over to our Grand Marshall, Mr. Leonard Nimoy!"
Nimoy: "I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp Five."
Quimby: "And let me say, 'May the Force Be With You!'"
Nimoy: "Do you even know who I am?"
Quimby: "I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?"

^
""Quimby: "And now, I'd like to turn things over to our Grand Marshall, Mr. Leonard Nimoy!"
Nimoy: "I'd say this vessel could do at least Warp Five."
Quimby: "And let me say, 'May the Force Be With You!'"
Nimoy: "Do you even know who I am?"
Quimby: "I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?""

Chief Wiggum:

"Uh, this is going to get a lot worse before it gets better"

Bart: Aw, come on Dad, this could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' christmas.
If Tv has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at christmas.
It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to The Smurfs, and
it's going to happen to us.

Homer: Oh, all right. Who's Tiny Tim?

Marge: "Ask your heart what its fondest desire is."
Homer: "Hmm..."
Flashback: "Mmm...chocolate."
Flashback: "Mmm...invisible cola."
Flashback: "Mmm...forbidden donut."
Flashback: "Mmm...sacrilicious."
Flashback: "Mmm...snouts."
Flashback: "Mmm...free goo."
Homer: "Mmm...something."

“Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs.”

Lisa: "Oh, no! Dad's been drugged!"
Marge: [annoyed] "No, he hasn't."

"Can't sleep. Clown will eat me."

^

""Flashback: "Mmm...sacrilicious."
Flashback: "Mmm...snouts."
Flashback: "Mmm...free goo."
Homer: "Mmm...something.""