I can't stand slow walkers; not people with a physical disability or who are laden down with bags/kids, or whoever has a valid reason to be slow, but people who seem to deliberately walk at a snail's pace for absolutely no other reason than to (seemingly) irritate the heck out of everyone else. I'm not talking about a casual, leisurely stroll. I'm talking moving at .1% above the velocity of rigor mortis. Granted, no one has an obligation to walk at a certain pace, but some people just take the p!$$. And in case you're wondering why should they annoy me when I can simply walk round them? Well, they annoy me because I can't walk round them ! I get stuck behind a slow walker (or even worse, a group of them) and the traffic on either side of me is too heavy for me to be able to pull out without tripping over someone (ahh dyspraxia, how I love thee!).
However, I have something to confess. Yesterday I became that which I hate most: a Slow Walker. It was completely unintentional. I was just walking along in a busy street and my phone which was in my bag started to ring. I could have just left it, but for some unfathomable reason I just had to answer it. Call it temporary insanity, but I just didn't think. I had to slow down to fumble about in my bag to find my phone, all the while no doubt infuriating those behind me. Some Glaswegian woman yelled loudly "for f**k's sake!" right in my ear as she overtook me. I am ashamed and embarrassed and ridden with self loathing. This is something that will haunt me in my dreams for years to come. One day when I'm a famous pr0n star (huge lol) a rag mag will unearth this unfortunate little tidbit and it'll be "Krystal Champagne; my sordid secret: I was a Slow Walker". How can I live with myself now???
Anyway, my question is: does anyone else hate slow walkers as much as I do... or am I just a really horrible specimen of a human being who should keep my narrow-minded, prejudiced views to my self?
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