Unconventional polygamy?

Post Reply New Topic

Sounds interesting but complicated. I mostly agree with what SeaBright said on page 1. Personally, as for myself, I know I would not want an arrangement like that. I'm still trying to decide if I really want to get married to one man again.

I do not care if other people want to marry more than one husband or wife. I believe it should be legal. Gay marriage should be legal in every state of our country. Its beyond ridicules that its not!

Well, I can say that my polyandrous marriage has worked fairly well for about five years or so now. That may be because our various disorders and neuroses mesh so well...

I don't think I could handle more than one husband. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure how well I'd be able to handle one husband (although that doesn't stop me from wanting one).

It's not really that complicated, if anything it makes things go a lot smoother.

because I empathies on a completely different level that most people and am particularly good when it comes to more emotional women. (or women who are affected more by their emotions) There are quite a number of women who find me a kind of island of peace and tranquility who can help them over their problems instead of most other people who just exacerbate them.

And consequently some of them I feel bound to give as much 'love' and commitment as is needed to ensure they are reasonably happy and able to cope.

They do realize they can't have me all the time and I can't satisfy all their needs (and that I have a 'full time' partner)

If there with someone else I usually let them get on with it unless (or more until) they can no longer get along.

In a way it actually provides some stability where otherwise there would be chaos.

No. Polygamy is not good. Unless it was for purely business benefits, with absolutely no feelings. It just causes imbalance, and jealousy, and not enough love.

This may be true for you, Spazzergasm, but I can testify that it is not true in all instances. You really shouldn't generalize from such a tiny sample size...

Maybe so, but I really can't comprehend how a romantic relationship between 3 people–or more, could ever work. It isn't really in human genes to share mates in such a way...Perhaps it is possible. But it would be a very rare exception.

I really don't think it's a good idea (I have acquaintances who practice it-not married, just couples) but I still voted 'maybe' because it's possible that it could work for some people. If you're going to have multiple partners, I don't understand why not just have multiple partners instead of marrying multiple partners. I don't really understand enough about it all to have a very firm opinion on the subject, but it's not something I'm interested in.

I believe it's more of a social acceptance thing than being in our genes. Polygamy or things very similar have been practiced in many cultures for thousands of years without it causing any more problems than you'd get in a normal relationship. In-fact if you talk to swingers they will say it keeps their relationships alive, because ofter 25 years with the same partner, your mind is bound to wonder a little. If your partner is involved with that it stops the 25 (or 7) year itch.

I don't really think it's in our genes to stick with one person for the rest of out lives, just look at the divorce rates etc....Polygamy lets you have a break from each other and gives you other people to share your woes about, but not people who are just going to say, ditch him / her. People who are also committed.

I thought it already was legal, at least where I am. Maybe polygamous marriage isn't 'legal', but when it comes to marriage, people seem to use 'legal' to mean 'recognized by the government in some way'. As far as I'm aware, anybody can get married; the question is whether or not it should be 'officially' recognized. On this point, I don't think marriage should have anything to do with the government, so I suppose I would against 'legalizing' polygamous marriage (and gay marriage, and straight marriage, and any kind of marriage you might come up with).

Yeah, but those are relatively emotionally distant relationships. Those Middle Easterners and stuff with multiple wives view them as more "property".

There was a documentary on it, it is in our genes. But permiscuity is as well. We can go both ways. But I was thinking more along the lines of just the sorts of reactions it would cause. An attempt at an actual, healthy, recupricative relationship between more than two people is almost impossible. Jealousy being the main factor. And balancing time, and being supportive of two different people, learning to satisfy two different people simultaeously...

What about Roman, greek, mongolias, Muslims, and many many more cultures that have or still do practice polygamy throughout the ages.
Also what about all the swingers etc... Prostitutes have partners too!

Also why does any relationship have to be based on the notion of 'romance', that's a very very small part of a relationship. And if that's what your seeking in a relationship you'll probably find they don't work out too well after the 'romance' dies off.

But I guarantee you those people aren't having relationships that meet their emotional needs very well at all. The typical marriage of that sort consists of a man in charge, and his wives who do the work and bear children.
Are you talking about regular sexual partners? Or people in relationships? Our misunderstanding could be due to different beliefs of what the word "relationship" exactly is.
I'm not bsing anything entirely off of romance. I'm basing it off of love. You can't have a loving, sexual, intimate, romantic relationship between more than two people. And romance plays a larger part in relationships than you might think.

Why not? Based on what I'm aware of about what love is and how it operates, I imagine that such relationships would be unusual, but still far from impossible.

Well, I'm certainly not having sex with my cohusband, but we are all in a loving, mutually-supportive relationship, and have been for going on six years now. We're all happy with it, although I'm beginning to be a bit disturbed at being relegated to the category of "myth" just because some people can't get past the dominant-man, submissive-housewife, monogamist paradigm in their own heads...

Maybe it is possible. Not for most people though. Certainly not for me.