doing an activity under an assumed name

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Hi, I have a question that I know will sound weird, but: I am about to try to go to a dance class to try and improve my social problems, clumsy gait & tendency toward laziness. I get to take a free trial class tonight. I am thinking of signing up under an assumed name, not to deceive anybody, but to sort of put a distance between myself and the others and protect my privacy a little bit . I just wanted to know if everybody here considers that a really weird thing; or does anybody else get why I am thinking of doing that, and would maybe do the same. I feel like the fake name would somehow give me some extra "cover", too, particularly if I spazzed and did something embarrassing or stupid in the class & had to quit it. I don't know. I know that NT people would consider this weird as it comes; but maybe you guys would get why I would think this way?

That is weird I'm sorry to say.

No one at the class knows you! You'll be the new girl (sorry!) regardless of your name.

If someone at the dance knows your friends or co-workers and thus you are afraid of gossip if you do badly, wait until they find out you are using a fake name!

Basically, this wouldn't be a rational thing to do.

I sense some hidden issues here. Are you unhappy with your name?

I aplaud you for trying to break out of your box and engaging in something new though. Everyone should do that.

Hi Dilbert, you might be right, might not be a good idea. I actually did end up signing up under my real name & address tonight anyway.

I don't have a problem with my name, though, just kind of wanted to put extra privacy between me and the strangers, I don't know. I decided against it, though.

Kudos to you, fro trying something new!

Perhaps, I should try something new...Hip Hop.

As Dilbert said, revealing that your name was fake might alienate new friends.

Thanks, I appreciate it

I wasn't planning on telling them, though. I figured that I would only meet in-class acquaintances while there. I live in a state where the culture is really cliquey & reserved (even cold & hostile in a lot of ways) even for NTs...while nothing is impossible, I have to admit that I doubted that I would be making any lifelong best friends there. But who knows? Maybe someone exceptional will come along. I am not trying to sound like a pessimist; I am just realistic about the way things are around here.

I gave them my real name after all. I felt too weird about faking, and also about the possibility of getting caught in some kind of unexpected situation, like some local neighbor joins the class or something, etc., and blows my cover.

I don't know why I am so obsessed with privacy and anonymity at times. I am honestly not schizophrenic or anything like that. I just have this thing with having to pass totally anonymously in a crowd.

I can't blame you, I was glad that when I moved between middle school and high school nobody knew me at the new school. Not to mention the fact that I never register on say...a dating site with the same alias I use to register for a social forum.

I just thought of something else that was kind of at the back of my mind, too- I wanted the pseudonym because it would be a way to escape my problems in real life in a way- OK, this is trickier to explain, but I will try my best- it's like, if for just an hour every week, I could put on ballet slippers like I did as a little kid...and if I could just be "Jane Smith" (that's not the name that I had in mind, just using it as a ready example to illustrate my point here) for that hour, and then walking out the studio door & going back to being the real me with all of my problems, it's like I could escape the problems & take a total mental vacation for that hour in the class, live out the fantasy of being this other persona as a way to forget the hardships that I deal with outside the studio doors. I don't know if that makes any sense- but that was also something behind my reasoning.

Last edited by lacoste79 on 01 Jul 2010, 2:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

Exactly, that's precisely it- that feeling of a clean slate.

It worked for the main character of Fight Club.

I think using fake names is great!

Oh, here's a tip:

If you ever have a problem thinking up a fake name, just replace the first letter of your real name with"Schm" and you're golden!

OK, I'll be Schmuley, even though I am a chick

Anyway, looks like this whole thing was in vain, anyway- turns out that the lady who runs the place neglected to tell me that all that they have are CHILDREN'S classes , and I ended up going through all that hassle just for sheer giggles. I got there tonight for the first class, saw a bunch of kids young enough to be my daughters go in the door, and found out the hard way that the place apparently strung me along trying to get me to sign up.

At least I didn't actually pay any money down or use any class time before walking straight out. I'd probably be on Judge Judy trying to recoup it!

Oh, well, at least I tried. It was free practice with dealing with a crowded place full of strangers, if nothing else.

Contrary to what you are being told here, using a pseudonym is neither weird, nor uncommon. Actors, musicians, and other performers do it all the time and we never think twice about it. It may seem odd to some to do it in the context of a dance class, but I can think of plenty of good reasons to do it, among them all the ones you mentioned. Privacy is not an uncommon concern these days, and for very good reasons. I use a pseudonym for songwriting, and MOST of us use them right here on the forum, and all over the Internet.

Nothing at all wrong with it.

What you have to keep in mind though, is that it's almost impossible to keep people from figuring out what your given birth name is forever. Sooner or later, some will figure it out. If all you do is remain aware of that, and be prepared to explain and be honest about why, and cop to who you really are once people do find out, there's nothing at all wrong with it.

I have a cousin who did just that, and not for performance reasons. He just didn't like the name he was known by and opted to start telling people it was something else. To all of us, he is still Scott. To everyone that met him as an adult, his name is Jim. None of his friends has a problem with it. His wife of over thirty years has no problem with it, and never did. Those who are close to him know, and those who aren't don't. It's never been a problem for him.

You are you, no matter what you choose to use as a name. It's if you lie about who you are that it's not just weird, but is basically conning everyone.

"A rose by any other name..."

It's just a name.

Too late now for this class, as I see you already chose not to, but if you ever think about doing it some time in the future, well, why not?