The Greatest Series Ever To Exist In the History of Forever

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That's right, and I'm here to talk about it. As I've said before, I'm in the process of making the universe's greatest series of games, books, movies, comics, cartoons, theme parks, and T-Shirts. The series is set in a vast universe, not too unlike our own.

So, what do you all think should be in it? The reason I put this topic here was so that people could say anything, without feeling restricted to "rules" or some such nonsense, so don't complain to me about this being in the wrong section. I did it on purpose.

There should be vampires.

There should be an epic plot, involving battles on a major proportion, small details altering the course of fate, and lots of romance. The characters should have well-developed personalities, complex interactions with other characters, and intense, complex backstories.
And don't be afraid to kill off characters. Lots of them should die in the course of building up to a strange and darkly fantastical ending.
On a superficial level, of course, there should also be swordfights, smoking, drinking, swearing, and sex.
All should be described graphically. There should also be some kind of supernatural beings (preferably more than one kind- and it would be pretty cool if you included an unexplained race of Gods and/or ancient beings. Or perhaps some kind of physically odd creature that's supposed to be the next stage of human evolution.)
In addition, I think you should make a lot of very subtle cultural and historical references that will make readers smile when they pick up on them. (Such as making the vicious warlord who the characters talk to in one scene physically resemble the lead singer of your favorite band, that sort of thing.)
Oh, yes, and you'll have to think up a plot. A good one. Not a linear one, but a complex one that you can get really lost in. With political and religious philosophy mixed in so as to appeal to the intelligent crowd as well as everyone else.

Something like Doctor Who.

s'gotta have zombies.
And ninjas.
Oh, and pirates, almost forgot that.

Be daring and combine traditional sci-fi and fantasy. Lots of unused ideas there. Perhaps the industrial revolution in a magic heavy world or a few hundred years in the future. Perhaps a satire of history could be done in such a fashion?

Have the main character fail to achieve his magnificent quest and die about 1/3 of the way through. Then use nothing but supporting characters, and don't focus on the dead hero too much. He/She should be about forgotton by the end.

It must have very adorable fuzzy critters as side kicks...with a little "slimmer ,from ghost busters" charming personality.Big eyes and fluffy fur....thats my vote.Females should also be able to problem solve and kick butt...nothing this ...hiding behind a guy crap...maybe an Amazon civilization tribe...I also love political satire hidden under storey plot.

It has to have Routemasters ! !!

(Hmmm, come to think about it, that term could cover a lot of territory!)

Hmm... How masked wrestlers dressed as clowns, or clowns dressed as masked wrestlers. That's combine the two scariest things in the world into one uberscary... thing. I realise I used uber incorrectly.

And um... Snakes on a plane?

Garlic.

Three things are necessary for awesomeness, grasshopper:

1) Ninjas.
2) Zombies.
3) Giant Freakin' Robots.