Meaning of words? Togetherness means to you this ...

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makegod2020
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08 Apr 2012, 11:49 am

There are extremely many Dictionaries and Thesarus and
Synonym lexica to look at but I take a random one.

Togetherness means

Quote:
Togetherness is the feeling of being close to another person emotionally
and physically. It is an emotion which cannot be definitive outside
of its current sociological meaning, and the reality of such a term is not
"knowledge."


Wow that where too intellectual language for my level of grasping English.

I try another one.

Quote:
1.
warm fellowship, as among members of a family.
2.
the quality, state, or condition of being together.


Hm they have a positive experience of being in a family.
Not something everybody shared. And being together
that can be very much at the others throat even :)

But I guess I get what they refer to.

As a diagnosed Aspie I have mixed views on "togetherness"

Is it a blessing or a curse. Sometimes I long for deep togetherness
and at other times I hate everything togetherness like Team Sport
or Politics or Church or anything that refers to collective dependence.

I am very ambiguous about the whole thing. Longing for going steady
and knowing I fail to stand being that close and dependent on another.

Having been utterly lonely now for many decades I start to long for togetherness again.
But I know from experience that the joy of having someone close can too soon
change into a longing for to be totally independent.

I wish somebody good at "social engineering" would come up with a scheme
that would allow one to jump in and out of such deep togetherness.



CockneyRebel
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08 Apr 2012, 4:52 pm

Mutual connections and understanding within a large group of people.


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Sylkat
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08 Apr 2012, 7:21 pm

Dear MakeGod2020, Your last 4 statements/paragraphs reflect my feeling completely!

Sylkat



makegod2020
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10 Apr 2012, 3:03 am

Sylkat wrote:
Dear MakeGod2020, Your last 4 statements/paragraphs reflect my feeling completely!

Sylkat


Cool that I am not totally alone :)

I very much resonate with this
Quote:
I wish somebody good at "social engineering" would come up with a scheme
that would allow one to jump in and out of such deep togetherness


Would Polyamorous work a bit like that? Or are they super tight all the time?
I mean if there is another then that would more easily allow for a easy break?
Unless both needed a break at same time. Haha would be typical.

Would one need maybe a whole group to be MegaAmorous something.
Very many finding each other okay to cuddle with and not deeply dependent
on each individual? I trust I would become very jealous on the most popular guys.

I can understand those who are religious and that only have a relation to God and not
to fellow humans. That way they don't need to become overly possessive on one fellow
person that can just walk away and one feel utterly abandoned unless one believe
in a moody God that is jealous and capricious however that is spelled :) Twisty God?
Twitchy? Unpredictable gods maybe are even worse than humans. Humans are a bit
predictable one can almost read their minds at times but a God is beyond understanding.

So I wish there where something named "Togetherness Meetings" or similar that allowed
that one could share caring feelings for many persons and not be so totally alone.

How one set up such most likely can only be done by very charismatic personalities?
Some Rock Star or PopStar something.



makegod2020
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10 Apr 2012, 3:09 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Mutual connections and understanding within a large group of people.


Yes that is a good understanding of what the word maybe refers to.
Add in respect and altruism and sharing and caring and TLC maybe too :)

What size of the group is needed to maintain it so it does not break apart in fractions
or cotteries or ingroups that slpit off? When people do group therapy they say that 8
in a group is rather ideal. if one are ten or more one tend to lose attention on the more
silent members of the group. it is too big. and less than 6 makes each too present and
the group depend too much on that each are very active.

Some Christians test to be 12 after their Jesus had twelve as a holy number.
Very many to relate to I think Jesus where too optimistic what he could handle well.



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10 Apr 2012, 4:18 am

It's good on a small scale and for a larger scheme.


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makegod2020
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11 Apr 2012, 1:46 pm

My very naive though is to construct some kind of secular
version of togetherness instead of joining a religious group.

Instead of having faith in an invisible God one have faith in
the togetherness within us. Humanities built in ability to care
and feel for other human beings and to cooperate with others
to create a togetherness that is both individual and group at
same time.

The individuality is the personal expression of each member
and the togetherness as a whole is the group cooperation
emerging as it unfolds.

Due to me have no talent for this the only way it will come to life
would be if some talent person get inspired to actually do something.



makegod2020
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11 Apr 2012, 3:14 pm

I found this text today. Happily it is about my issues.
Togetherness and why so many atheists and secular Humanists
are very skeptical to such "emotionalism" and group togetherness.

Link follows http://www.secularhumanism.org/index.php?section=fi&page=flynn_32_3

Quote:
Why Seculars Don’t Sing
by Tom Flynn of Free Inquiry

...

Compared to the American mainstream,
we secular humanists are more conspicuous outliers
than religious humanists, whether by that term we mean
enthusiasts for congregational practice or those
who have not broken fully with mysticism.

Our disdain for group ritual practice
and
for worldviews that violate the boundaries of
philosophical naturalism compounds our outlier status.

But this is nothing to lament, any more than staunch
secular humanists regret having denied ourselves
the “comfort” of believing that all the injustices we suffered
during life will be made up to us after we die.

There’s a hardiness, a deep courage, in facing life as it is
—and a justifiable pride in belonging to a pioneer generation
for which so radically unembellished a worldview can be
a living option for so many, if not yet for most—that goes far
to define the affective core of what it means to be a secular humanist.

...


I think it is obvious that this spokesperson for Secular Humanism
show very well how odd my longing for togetherness is among
my fellow atheists.

I am an "outlier" among the American outliers apart from being a European.



makegod2020
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01 May 2012, 5:08 am

The lack of enthusiasm for this topic maybe support that us Aspies
is not much for that kind of emotionalistic togetherness?



TheHouseholdCat
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01 May 2012, 4:39 pm

TUMBLR!

:lol:

Tumblr is like a big family. You may not be able to relate to all of its members, but some of them make you happy. There's a big connection.


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01 May 2012, 5:37 pm

Togetherness means being with two or three friends who accept and respect me as I am. :)


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makegod2020
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02 May 2012, 7:13 am

TheHouseholdCat wrote:
TUMBLR!

:lol:

Tumblr is like a big family. You may not be able to relate to all of its members, but some of them make you happy. There's a big connection.


Thanks for telling me about it. I had a bookmark to it and Wordpress.
Is it more easy to get to know people using Tumblr than Wordpress?

I am a total noob when it comes to blogging. I fail to write in a way
that a blogger needs to keep people interested.
and what about all the spam that wants to pretend them to be real people :)

@CockneyRebel you are 100% right about that but I have totally failed
finding such deep friends since 1986. I am too different even among us Aspies.

Most AS here wants highly functional AS variants and I am among the low achiever indeed.
I am barely getting along here. Multi diagnose most likely but only paper on AS.
My ADHD component is very high. I fail to be persistent on things and get easily distracted and bored.

But I do agree with you deep friends that accept us as we are that is something to strive for.



makegod2020
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02 May 2012, 7:16 am

TheHouseholdCat wrote:
TUMBLR!

:lol:

Tumblr is like a big family. You may not be able to relate to all of its members, but some of them make you happy. There's a big connection.

Can you tell me more specific how you make friends using Tumblr.

You mean you surf around on blog on Tumblr and then make a few comments and then share email or what?

Edit. I found you on Tumblr. Wow you have many many blogs. I would be happy if I even could make one
and even that one would be a disaster. yours look great.

Hehe. Ask me anything even anonymous.

Don't you get very many spam using that one or does it have some kind of chapta or something?