What's a good message for a home answering machine?

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OA_
Raven
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24 Feb 2007, 2:24 pm

what would be a good message to have on your home answering machine - besides the usual 'please leave your details and message after the tone'?

Anubis
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24 Feb 2007, 2:28 pm

"Hello, this is the _____ residence, but no-one is home right now. Please leave your message and phone number, so that whoever you want can reply."

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Lalalalai.... I'll cut you up!

alex
Developer

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24 Feb 2007, 2:29 pm

"hello?? ..... ohhhh hey!...... what's up.......... hahah no, i'm just kidding. leave a message after the tone."

that will totally mess with your callers minds. And they'll start wondering why they keep falling for it after they already know about it. :lol:

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richie
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24 Feb 2007, 2:30 pm

"Hello, this is Rich's answering machine. Rich is not here and he is not all there...."

Aspiegirl89
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Joined: 5 Feb 2007
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24 Feb 2007, 2:52 pm

"You've reached -----. Long messages will be cheerfully ignored. Repeat callers will be deleted. Feel free to leave a message."

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TruenoBlues
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24 Feb 2007, 3:16 pm

Hello, you've reached~ I'm currently unavailable, so please leave a message.

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Roxas_XIII
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24 Feb 2007, 3:30 pm

"Hello, this is ______. To leave a message, press 1, or wait for the tone. To advertise or telemarket, press 2 now."

*if you press two*

"Your landline has been identified and an intercontential ballistic missile containing a nuclear warhead is en route to your location. Have a pleasant day."

Chances are you probably don't have one of these, but the psychological effect on the caller is pretty damn funny.

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matt271
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24 Feb 2007, 3:33 pm

ummmm
"hi <chewing on something crunchy> you have reached my answering machine. apparently, i am not home, or don't want to answer the phone. so anyways, don't call back, i'll call you."

Flagg
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24 Feb 2007, 5:27 pm

In your best dirty old man voice.

"What'ja want cha' putz? Just leava damn message atda' beep."

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MrMark
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24 Feb 2007, 5:51 pm

"Hi, you've reached 878-*737. Please leave a message. Thanks."

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RedMage
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24 Feb 2007, 5:53 pm

"Out fighting fiends. Please leave a message after the beep. *BEEP!*"

Quatermass
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24 Feb 2007, 7:29 pm

Not one I would use, given my teetotalling nature, but....

"A is for Academia, B is for Beer, and one of those things is why we're not here. Leave a message."

One I might use....

"This is not a answering machine, but a telepathic recorder. Just concentrate on the name number, and reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call."

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(No longer a mod)

On sabbatical...

Synapsandwich
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Joined: 1 Sep 2006
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17 Mar 2007, 9:30 am

'My fellow Australians, if you can hear this I've been murdered by Aspie leftists. My language has been murdered, my shopping trolley murdered. I don't like it'

sun_rat
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Joined: 15 Feb 2007
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17 Mar 2007, 9:58 am

alex wrote:

i really had one like that for years. it was great.

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sun rat

Alternative
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17 Mar 2007, 10:23 am

"Hi, I'm either not here at the moment or am ignoring your call. If you like not that you'd want to though, Can leave a message after the little funny beep. I'll probably delete your message, if you're not worth calling back. Ok."

*Beep*

Starr
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17 Mar 2007, 10:43 am

**** off!.....no, not really I just don't like phones very much.

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What's a good message for a home answering machine?