Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer! (ASPIE STYLE!)

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Always a little longer than the ruler you're trying to measure it with.

How many grains of sand are there in the universe?

There is no sand in the universe, it only exists at deserts and beaches.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Why would you want to love a dead body?

Why are carrots orange?

Only the roots are orange. The tops of carrots are green. Which is weird, because people with red hair are sometimes called carrot tops.

Why is it that when you cook a pig it's called pork, cook a cow it's called beef, cook a deer it's called venison, but chicken is still just chicken whether it's cooked or not?

Because the pig and cow and deer were brave and did not cry out when being cooked, but the chicken did. So the chicken was chicken even when being cooked.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

It would throw a fit if a fit would fit

Why don't I ever get notified about the boundless stupid threads on WP by all the stupid members on here with which I could engage stupidly and interact with socially supeperficially and occasionally?

And Drunkenly!

:drunk:

Because of the stupidly stupid stupidity of the site.

Why can't I recall the stupid question I thought of yesterday?

Most likely it jumped out of you and ran away.

I think a strand of my hair fell out. Is there a way to get it surgically re-attached? Is the operation expensive?

No. How could you be so cruel? Everyone knows hairs are actually long, skinny worms. The poor worm just wanted its freedom. How dare you want to keep it in captivity on your head?

Why can't we live on the clouds?

That isn't a cat it's a microwave!

Why are frogs so sexy when wearing bikinis?

Because of their trim and slender physiques.

What does the fox say?

When foxes open their mouths, they think they are bells, hence the "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding".

If someone wins a competition, does that mean they are the highest-placing contestant, or just the winning contestant?

Neither. S/he is just has extra hairs on his/her knuckles.

How many fingers am I holding up?

Five, if you have your whole hand raised in the air.

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?