Do you get peeved off when someone randomly gives you a gift

Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 


Do you get flustered or annoyed when someone gives you a gift?
Yes: I get flustered, annoyed, confused. 50%  50%  [ 2 ]
No: Happy to accept any gift given to me 50%  50%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 4

1Biggles1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,870

06 Jun 2017, 1:05 am

Was just another one of those passing thoughts. I have always been uncomfortable when receiving gifts as i am never too sure how to respond as in body language etc ( have learnt to accept over time, normally if by the third attempt of saying no i will accept)... However i love giving to people and now realise it is a two way street. I will often decline anything but if insisted upon on the third time i will often accept as i realise people can get the same joy as myself when giving and seem very let down when i decline... I used to get flustered and felt somewhat uncomfortable and a little peeved when receiving something. A recent example was going into our local bakery. On the way i must have dropped the $20 dollar note on the pathway, so when i came to pay i was 50cents short as could only use the remainder of what i had left. The kind Cambodian lady said dont worry, and i promised to come back the next day and pay what i was short but she insisted... Anyway i did go back the next day and insisted on paying her what i was short by the previous day, she seemed a little peeved off and disappointed...

I also noticed this when trying to help another aspie friend out by making something for them that might actually be beneficial they very much went on the defensive. So got me thinking if this is somewhat a common thing amongst the spectrum of being offered something and then the senses get bombarded and confusion and un-comfort sets in.



Kiprobalhato
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2014
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Posts: 29,119
Location: מתחת לעננים

06 Jun 2017, 2:15 am

do i?

usually, when it's something i have no real use for. it's the feeling of getting backed into a corner by the feeling of not wanting to appear disrespectful or ungrateful, but knowing that even after the faked gratitude (gesture aside), you'll end up with something that you could have lived happily without.

if anything else, i can accept if merely for the satisfaction my acceptance gives to the giver, OP. perhaps that is enough. :)

it can be paralyzing, being faced with those choices.


_________________
הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


1Biggles1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,870

06 Jun 2017, 2:29 am

Kiprobalhato wrote:
do i?

usually, when it's something i have no real use for. it's the feeling of getting backed into a corner by the feeling of not wanting to appear disrespectful or ungrateful, but knowing that even after the faked gratitude (gesture aside), you'll end up with something that you could have lived happily without.

if anything else, i can accept if merely for the satisfaction my acceptance gives to the giver, OP. perhaps that is enough. :)

it can be paralyzing, being faced with those choices.


Yes it can be paralyzing, hence my intrigue on other peoples thoughts. I have noticed not just with myself, my friend but also someone else on the spectrum, so it got me thinking... Its like the brain just goes into a sudden close down and dont know how to respond to a situation..... Hence the paradox of maybe wanting to accept the kind gesture but to respond appropriately can cause somewhat of a mini meltdown, so avoiding such situations as argument could be a way of self preservation. In essence taking the logical route of not accepting and moving on as opposed to the relentless response of having to... I dont know, even i ma trying to work that one out... i have got better but i am someone that would rather give and get a little joy from seeing their response or even doing something without their knowing rather than have to face accepting something myself.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,593
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic police state called USA

06 Jun 2017, 2:34 am

I don't really get random gifts so I'm not sure. How I react to getting gifts for special occasions depends on what the gifts are. I get annoyed if it's a gift I won't use like clothing I don't wear. Most anything I want I have to buy myself or at least pick out. I'm not into giving gifts either so most people who are close enough to want to get me a gift know me well enough to know gifts aren't really my thing.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


C2V
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2015
Posts: 2,666

06 Jun 2017, 5:50 am

Well, people don't give me gifts so I don't know.
When it's my birthday or xmas or some other holiday I know I'm going to be expected to participate in, I pre-empt people and specify the things I need, and should they wish to contribute, we can work something out between us.
I like buying or making gifts for other people though, and have been told I'm good at it.


_________________
Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.


1Biggles1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,870

06 Jun 2017, 6:07 am

Thanks, yes i get that, I probably didnt make myself clear enough, close family and relatives tend to be a given with gifts and in someway expected at christmas, birthdays etc. I was really talking about the general public and those acquaintances that want to give you a gift for either no apparent reason or a response in kind.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

06 Jun 2017, 9:41 am

I didn't vote. I lie somewhere in the middle.

I appreciate the fact that I was given a gift---but I might get a little flustered because I might actually not have use for it--and the money spent for the gift would be wasted.

I would advise people to not express annoyance upon the receipt of a gift. Accept it with "thanks," even if it's "phony."



crystaltermination
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2016
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,029
Location: UK

06 Jun 2017, 11:32 am

I don't get peeved at random gift-givers but it flusters me terribly. Years ago at my first uni I actually had struck up quite a rapport with a polish girl on the same course. I randomly complimented a costume jewellery bracelet she was wearing while sitting together on a coach, and she actually gave it to me; spontaneous of her. If I'm flustered I have a little trouble moderating my tone of voice to the appropriate tone, so worry the other party thinks I sound insincere.
Online, I've also had several instances over time of other artists gifting me with a premium account for a certain number of months. It's very supportive of them, and I appreciate that they enjoy my work - but no matter what it is, it's just hard to be put on the spot, suddenly. I suppose I worry I might offend them and make them regret their kindness.


_________________
On hiatus thanks to someone in real life breaching my privacy here, without my permission! May be back one day. +tips hat+


tinky2
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 21 Mar 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 241
Location: Sur la lune dansant avec les vaches

06 Jun 2017, 3:04 pm

I generally become overwhelmed and feel this intense feeling of gratitude and don't know how to react. I feel something similar when does something out of the blue for me. I get this tingly feeling that ripples through my body


_________________
tinky is currently on a mission hunting heffalumps and woozles in Antarctica.


1Biggles1
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 2 Apr 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,870

06 Jun 2017, 6:54 pm

tinky2 wrote:
I generally become overwhelmed and feel this intense feeling of gratitude and don't know how to react. I feel something similar when does something out of the blue for me. I get this tingly feeling that ripples through my body


Are the tingles like millions of tiny, tiny bubbles that start in the head and flow as a wave through your entire body down through your legs and fizzles out?

I think i get more overwhelmed and flustered, not knowing how to respond... I think i get more peeved off at myself i think as i know its not the 'Normal' way to react... I dont know unless it close family i feel rather uncomfortable receiving something from someone... I have got better though... I just rather give than receive. Doesn't involve as much sensory overload.