Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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My current email address is strangely missing.

mental fog.

Came across an article that upset me last night, as it relates to a past incident experienced when I was a child. It's put me in a brooding mood for all of today but it also did state some very true facts that re-affirmed, just as my years as a client in the mental health services have helped confirm, certain boundaries between victimisation, guilt and delusions.

I can't find the recharger to my camera. If I don't find it soon I won't be able to take any pictures when I go home for Christmas.

Remembering a former colleague, who had become a friend, and who died last year - suddenly and unexpectedly - just before Christmas. She was only 43, kind, ethical, and brilliant. I've been shocked at how much it hurts to know she's no longer in the world, even now, almost a year after her death.

again can't sleep

I'm trying to talk to my ex gf about a few things but she never responds to her texts, ever. I'm tired of her trying to avoid me instead of talking about issues.

The pointlessness of everything.

mother and shopping

Text from frenemy.

My bad sleep patterns, caffeine addiction, the infamous "what's wrong", and "how was your day", and the struggle of responding in a way that does not make me sound rude and immature.

Someone is at the house where I'm staying again and to avoid them I'm stuck in a hot car in town waiting until they're sure to have left and it's safe to return without seeing them and being forced to interact.
I loathe forced interaction.
And I dislike these people ALWAYS turning up there or threatening to.
Why can't people, ever, just leave me alone ???

Lots of snow.

I have a lot to do today

Severe shutdown/meltdown/autistic f**kup.
I wrote it all out on WP but then deleted it.
What is the point. There's none anymore.

When I was at home I have gotten into many severe shutdowns/meltdowns/autistic fuckups with my family and I have had those happen at work. The results from all of that felt ugly, but I managed to get through all of it. I think one time I threw a glass vase on the floor and may even kicked a flower pot with my bare feet; not normal. Remember you aren't alone. I think I still have the fear that I'll be placed in the back of a police car and sent to a group home under court orders with my power of attorney stripped away. My medication got increased which made me feel sad about myself even though it is helping me. My grandparents treat my medication like it is a blessing, yet forget how painful it is to get it and to live a life with it. Another fear I have is living an entire life on social security benefits at an early age. I'm very jealous of normal people for a list of reasons. More importantly I feel normal people would have better control of their emotions and communication without having to go through several specialized doctor visits.