I confess.....
Icarus_Falling
everyman antihero
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,215
Location: beyond human comprehension
I think I achieved the catharsis I sought; the episode was disturbing, but it did not follow me into my dreams, which is a good sign. [Though I did dream of other interesting things...] I thank the gentle audience for allowing me to prostrate myself so.
I confess though, I'm a little nervous now that I realize that guy may end up working for the same company as me [which employs many people, most of whom I do not know], and that I may bump into him sometime. That would be, uh, awkward. But, contingency planning, I've already decided that if that ever happens, hopefully before he has much of a chance to react, I'll greet him with a big smile, an enthusiastic, "What's up?", and a playful slap on the left shoulder. The ball is then in his court; I have insufficient data to model his response with any degree of accuracy, though I can predict several dozen possible outcomes. [Let's just hope I never bump into him.]
Thank you, for the kitten! Like the optical illusion, she/he did make me feel better; you put a smile on my face. I will keep that kitten in my pocket for times of future need.
The other boy's story was sad. Mine was just a few events in a long series of events that have become my life. Like Trigger11 said, lessons to learn from; each event is like the blacksmith's hammer striking hot steel, forging me into whoever I am to end up being.
You remind me of me in more ways than I care to count [but at least 9 to 15]. I confess that I've enjoyed many of your "long" posts [in this thread and others], and I confess that I hope you continue with them.
Oh, I got my very first MySpace friends invite from someone on the Wrong Planet yesterday. I confess I'm thrilled about that! [My current MySpace mood is "jubilant".] But, I also confess I'm not sure who she is here, which is a little emberassing.
Good fortune,
- Icarus
Last edited by Icarus_Falling on 28 Jul 2007, 3:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Icarus_Falling
everyman antihero
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,215
Location: beyond human comprehension
Xanax is an interesting brain candy. Makes you a bit sleepy, and more than a bit apathetic. It cures nothing; your troubles are all still there, but they seem to fade into the background...
I confess, I know this because I sometimes... need? it too...
I confess I'm very suspicious of drug companies. But I also must confess that I'm pretty much suspicious of everything.
Good fortune,
- Icarus
_________________
Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle, I sometimes forget which side I'm on.
Icarus_Falling
everyman antihero
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,215
Location: beyond human comprehension
I confess that I spent far more time than I should have studying burrow owls after I heard Stuart. STG.
I confess that I've had a crush on Hermione for a little bit, and LadyMcB's avatar always distracts me. [I'm easily distracted though.] But, if you ever land your dream job at the, uh, couples shop, PLEASE offer a better Hermione fantasy outfit than Wizard Wanda. Sheesh.
Good fortune,
- Icarus
_________________
Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle, I sometimes forget which side I'm on.
You remind me of me in more ways than I care to count [but at least 9 to 15]. I confess that I've enjoyed many of your "long" posts [in this thread and others], and I confess that I hope you continue with them.
Thanks. I confess that I consider being sort of like you as a compliment, because I like reading your posts. (I confess that as much as it looks like I simply parrot back compliments, I don't; I mean what I say.)
I also confess that the silly/serious comment was not meant to be flippant or dismissive; I realized this morning that it sort of sounded like that.
I confess that I've had the same problem. (Of course, I ignore MySpace unless someone does something to my page.) I furthermore confess that I had something similar happen on Facebook today (I only made it today, because I was informed I "had" to). I know I must have met the girl who added me - I remember her tattoo - but I can't place her. (She has a picture of me in her album (blah).)
I confess that I'm rather tired this evening, but I'm too stubborn to go to bed early... I did take a nap earlier, and that helped.
And I confess that I'm not thinking very much today; I'm listening to music instead, which is kind of muting everything else. That doesn't always happen when I listen to music, but sometimes... I'm not sure whether or not I like it.
I also confess that sometimes I do like hallucinating; it's quite interesting... That being said, I'm not fond of hallucinating shadows and demons, as well as some noises.
(I confess I feel repetitive for saying "I confess" so often, even if that is the point of this thread.)
I confess that I'm considering going to the old cemetery tomorrow to see if I can't come up with some ideas... I need to try and revive a story.
_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."
Three years!
UnrelentingHorror
Sea Gull
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 225
Location: The county of oranges, California.
I confess that I spent far more time than I should have studying burrow owls after I heard Stuart. STG.
I confess that I've had a crush on Hermione for a little bit, and LadyMcB's avatar always distracts me. [I'm easily distracted though.] But, if you ever land your dream job at the, uh, couples shop, PLEASE offer a better Hermione fantasy outfit than Wizard Wanda. Sheesh.
Good fortune,
- Icarus
Hehe, I'll try icarus, even if I have to custom make one from a bunch of other outfits just for you and your current chosen mate.
But probably won't be for awhile as the one I had an eye on for getting employment at got shutdown by freakin preppyville city council cause they had the misfortune of being near the edge of it.
Yeah cause They can't have their happy little neighborhood defiled or whatever by anything thats even slightly questionable. They're even trying to get rid of some store chains they find less than desireable and are already getting rid of the first tattoo shop I ever went to.
I'm glad I don't live there, but I still live next to it and have to suffer from their decisions
Well rant off.
In other news.... I confess that even though I know this one girl and I, whom I adore, cannot be together at this time for several reasons, I still cannot help but feel ultimate respect for her and still carry abit of a torch even though it lessens abit as time goes. Even though I think I've pretty much let go the feeling still stirs at rare moments.
I furthermore confess that at this point in my life I crave companionship from SOMEONE whom I can appreciate and get along with whoever they may be. Yet have been failing miserably in my search I think mostly due to my own weak little guts lately. Not that I'm usually a casanova but I just am sucking more than usual at it lately.
I need a good cuddle lol. (yeah kinda sad and creepy but hey)
I confess I get wiser every few months... it took time for me to realize my true comfortable approach is 'defense' and not 'on the offence'. Defensive slower opportunist approach play suits me better... or am I talking trash? lol
_________________
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
I confess that I got an absolutely and utterly ridiculous hat today (it came with a pair of jeans). My mother swears it's "cute" and my father thinks it's very me, but it is ridiculous. I confess that I adore it simply because of it being ridiculous.
_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."
Three years!
Icarus_Falling
everyman antihero
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,215
Location: beyond human comprehension
Torches... Torches... <sigh> You invoke a prattle.
My mind is not unlike an old mansion with many rooms, the rooms themselves being set up with a variety of appointments. I sometimes jokingly refer to this arrangement as The House of Usher. I think, some day, I may write a book about my mansion; maybe that's what I'm doing now.
In any case, one of the rooms in the house is the torch room; actually, it is more like a long, winding hallway that twists in on itself somehow. For my sanity’s sake, I normally keep the door to this room closed and locked; emotions run wild and unchecked in that room. But every so often, for a small variety of reasons, I will unlock the door, and wander the hall. Hundreds of torches line the walls of this long, twisted room; if I put my mind to it, I can still enumerate them all, though I tempt madness by doing so. Some of them are little more than candles; some nigh bonfires; some are for people who are real, and many for people imagined; very few are for people who know about them. A torch, once placed in this room, may vary somewhat in intensity, but so far one has never gone out [some have been in there for decades]. A few remind me of burns that still pain me today; many of them were once painful to behold, but nowadays most of them just give off a warm glow that is not unpleasant to bask in for a while, but only for a short while, lest I inadvertently reach out to touch the flame and burn myself, not unlike a moth. The room is a dangerous thing to wander through; sometimes I leave it in warm spirits; many times I leave it with my mind racing of things that might have been but never were; sometimes times I leave the room and just want to die. I confess, there are times that I wish I could thrust these torches into a bucket of water and extinguish them - all of them. But I also confess there are times when I am glad they are there. I think that most people are not... haunted? blessed? by having so many torches, and I confess that I am both jealous of, and sorry for, such people.
Your torch sounds like a thing that pains you now. But, I hope you learn to cherish it, and maybe someday you too can bask in its warm glow without feeling pain. It is a sad thing, I think, whenever a torch goes out forever... Perhaps this is why something inside me keeps all of mine lit.
Sad, perhaps, but... creepy? I think not. I wish you well in your noble quest. Recall what The Clitoris said.
I confess that I find the notion of so many people in the world struggling to find companionship painfully disconcerting. I confess that it makes me angry that things are so complicated, and wrought with so much needless pain.
I confess, right now I have the urge to hop on my motorcycle, and see how fast I can get it to go... Again. [A tad over 110mph is my current personal record, but I think I can best it; the rushing air begins to sound like Zeus’s thunder @ about 85mhp.]
Good fortune,
- Icarus
Last edited by Icarus_Falling on 29 Jul 2007, 5:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Icarus_Falling
everyman antihero
Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,215
Location: beyond human comprehension
Gods, I'm replying to my own posts... I confess that I worry someone is going to accuse me of being a post whore, or, more likely, of being crazy.
But, strange things are afoot, and they seem to center on Hermione...? Friday had a car ride with two of my co-workers. One is an oldish friend, a member of my role-playing group, who has gotten used to my eccentric ways, for the most part I think. The other is a female co-worker who I met only recently, but really like. Being in the company of an old friend and new friend was terribly confusing for me; how much can I be myself? [Whoever the hell that is.] Would I inadvertently offend her? I decided to go for broke, and asked my new friend if she would pretend that we were old friends, so I could just be my raw, unfiltered [for the most part] self. She was amused by this notion, and acquiesced. Before I even have a chance to whip out with any of my weirdness, my new female friend starts prattling on about, of all things one could imagine... Harry Potter fan fiction. As in, adult fan fiction [she used the word "porn"]. OK, that was bizarre, because just before we left on the ride, I was thinking about making the post I did above [I'm behind on my posting]. So, WTF, I mention my crush on Hermione, to which she responds, "Dude, she does everybody." I was actually rather annoyed by that remark, but laughed about it.
Fast-forward to I'm on the way home, and stop off at the grocery store. I get into the express checkout, and the chick in front of me and the cashier get into a discussion about Harry Potter - and start talking about Hermione - for like a whole minute, with me just standing there. My mind started to buzz at that point.
Fast forward, I get home, and my wife was just finishing up the latest book, and out of the blue starts talking to me about Hermione, who she knows I have a crush on.
Fast forward, and I make the above post, coming from my playfully twisted persona.
Fast foward to this morning, when I get up and read UnrelentingHorror's response to my post, and have a little chuckle at the non-sad part of that reply.
Then, I wander downstairs, and the screensaver on my laptop, which is set up to show pictures in a folder (there are thousands of pictures in there) happens to be showing this picture of the actress Emma Watson. Wow, that's weird, eh? The screensaver is setup to cycle to a new picture every few seconds. Then I notice... The picture is not changing; the laptop is old and tired, and every so often it gets, um, stuck. And it was stuck on a picture of Emma Watson. And then the thought entered my head that she was smirking at me, in a playful sort of way. At me. WFT?
I confess things like this really make me doubt reality. I confess, it is becoming increasingly difficult for me to tell the difference between what I dream, what I imagine, and what is "real". I confess I'm not even sure what "real" means anymore... And, I must confess, at times it is kind of fun.
[Somoene else please confess something, so I can reply to RainSong's posts without doing three posts in a row... again.]
Good fortune,
- Icarus
_________________
Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle, I sometimes forget which side I'm on.
I confess that I've seen someone post eight times in a row before; three times isn't a problem.
I confess that I came up here to confess that I no longer like the ridiculous hat because I'm in a low mood, but now that I'm here it's not true. My mood flipped to simply tired, and the ridiculous is at a neutral stage with me.
I confess that I would love to have one day - just one day - when my mood was stable.
I confess that I'm sure I'll feel disgusted by that wish later this evening.
I also confess that that wish probably isn't true, because I'd most likely want more than one day after that. I confess that being stable isn't me, and I shouldn't want it. I confess that I'm now disgusted by that wish, and I don't want it to happen.
_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."
Three years!
UnrelentingHorror
Sea Gull
Joined: 17 Jul 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 225
Location: The county of oranges, California.
I confess that, generally speaking, I confuse myself completely.
(I confess that the slight allteration (confess, confuse, completely) amuses me a bit.)
I also confess that I'm only thinking with one voice again right now, and that worries me. I did the same thing last night, and when they all came back, it hit really hard. I'd prefer not to do that again.
_________________
"Nothing worth having is easy."
Three years!
I confess that I felt cheated, because UnrelentingHorror did not confess to anything.
I confess that I am going to go see The Simpsons Movie tomorrow in either Louisville, KY or and Cincinnati, OH, since I will be at both places on travel for work.
I confess that I get extremely annoyed at many posts due to a lack of proper grammar and punctuation.
I confess I edit many of my posts when I fail to use spell check and realize, sometimes days later, I misspelled something.
_________________
I won?t tell anyone else how to be
You can be yourself, but just let me be me