What's on your mind right now?

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Hoping to return to a sense of normalcy

Realized I'm not up to getting a job again when this one ends.

Also realizing that being assessed may never happen.

I had my first session of group therapy today. We talked about emotions.

I think that maybe I am quite an interesting person,too after reading different posts in here.

I read something that says "relationships require forgiveness."
That's something I just can't seem to do.
I feel like there are things about me that will always be incorrect and wrong and misplaced. It's just hard to change as a person, you know?
And what if I just always liked the idea of things more than I actually liked them.

I don't know. It's all very confusing all the time. Everything. Sometimes I'm too tired. Mostly, actually.

The closer I get to 30 every day, the more I realize that my adult life has mostly consisted of basic survival, fixing my past mistakes, and backtracking. I keep waiting for the time I feel like I'm making progress instead of digging myself out of things.

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?

^^^^MP, you can DO IT!

simply hoping to move into my place without any negative scenarios as well, become employed again. Yes, i know this is something I've been going on about for a long time, but despite the fact, I have legitimate work skills and experiences, and have applied at various corporate entities, nothing has really panned out so far..

My mother said today that we shouldn't worry about the wildfires in the Amazon because the plants and trees grow back really fast because its so hot and humid there.

When I asked why there are so many fires if it's so humid, and it should be since it's called the *rain* forest, she said the Amazon is probably just going through a temporary dry spell.

I think my mother has terminal optimism. What do you think?

I think your mother has no idea of the ecology of rain forests. Those trees will not grow back. And it is not a temporary dry spell. The dry season is, well, seasonal. Happens every year. Once the trees are gone, the soil dries out and what comes back is scrub.


She may not want to worry about the rainforest, because there is not much she or any of us can do about it.

Lot of things pays off a lot these days. Sure I figured how to bypass parts of me that is being a problem.
But that doesn't mean to simply put my guard down and become complacent eh?

I'm so committed to whatever process I'm doing now. Everything else is more of a means, a time passer, a 'space' to wander about it seems.
The income and whatever is being provided for me is just a bonus -- anyone could've complained about whatever I deemed as 'bonus' though.


Now, how to be a parent to myself... Without exerting much willpower.
This is sort of like how I dealt with my sensory issues without to resort to tolerance past it's threshold, by learning how to take it as is -- except, it's beyond sensory.

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